8 views
Once Upon A Time.
When looking back, i can recall when things changed when she she suddenly became unquestionably weird. As this was our experience of her, why another soul, a mother as well would behave in such away, playing such cruel, hurtful
emotionally stressed games, using others like a cheap piece of material so easily discarded, once it becomes slightly torn.
It’s funny when now reflecting on those past experiences with her from those years ago. I sensed something, like an undercurrent in her behaviour, but I always said to myself. “ Give her the benefit of the doubt.” When thinking back on those numerous times when she was slagged off by others and i stood up for her, which she never knew about as i felt it was unfair of others, no giving her a chance with her being so new on the block. Then somewhere down the line, she turned her inner rage onto me and with shock and surprise, i quitely began to understand what all the others were talking about. There were occasions when the environment would so uncomfortable, i emotionally couldn’t breath. At first, i felt a real sense of happiness in my heart with someone being in close proximity of me and in similar circumstances, possibly starting over. As we all need to find our own path in our lives.
Sometimes, she would act like Dr.Jekyll then at other times she would suddenly turn into Mrs. Hyde. I never really understood which one i was talking to at times, as her personality seemed to take on a world of it’s own, but without the physical violence, as far as i knew.
It’s a fascinating thing about people’s behaviours, how they can suddenly become unapproachable after you have a bizarre experience with them. It’s even stranger when they project their weirdness onto you. Making you out to be the unpredictable one when along they are slowly manipulating each situation to gain continuous sympathy for themselves. This was an everyday game that she was a master at. To the point, when i tried to explain her behaviour to others, they believed that i was the one living in the land of make - believe.
I came to understand that she was obviously damaged in some way, through possible relationships with any previous parteners, maybe not enough love and understanding from her parents, or even problems with communications with her siblings and at times maybe a past friendship or two. I came to realise, that all vibrations with people are important and that some vibes are not always meant to be blended. During these most unfortunate and trouble some times that i was having to experience by her. I was in a physical and emotional change myself. Her behaviour only added to my life like a brain tumour, where you only have a few weeks to live. So not at all
helpful or caring or kind or considerate or thoughtful or understanding or empathic in any way, shape or form.
To the point where i know something had to give at some point.
Then it did, i began to remove us from such a negative, hostile, toxic and most
emotionally- draining situation.
So we started again, somewhere else, somewhere new.
The funny thing was around a year and a few days later, i dreamt about a two or three bedroomed house, with a car parked at the front of the house, with two number digits of a house number on a wall outside. In the front room i could see seashells either hanging up as a part of a design to something. A mobile phone on a table with matching sofa’s all in a new area not near me anymore in physical proximity, but a feeling of a clubhouse and a primary school near to this house that i dreamed about. On the signpost of the this village where she’d moved to, the word was not a long one but a short word, but unclear in it’s view.
A few months later, while waiting for my bus back to my home, i over heard a man’s conversation with a woman, both whom i’d recognised, from the block where i use to live. The man suddenly turned to me and asked me how i was and asked after my child too, with his usual friendly greeting, that i’d always recalled.
He then slowly brought me into the conversation with the lady who he was speaking with. I mainly listened to their conversation, in parts. They were discussing how the changes on the block had occurred, over the last few years.
He said that he was aware that the side of the street that i use to live in at one time (as did he) had changed with a few more families leaving. As he said this, he looked at me and said she apparently went with her lot too. A sudden shiver went straight down my back, as i recalled my dream from a few months before. Of a house that i’d never seem in real life, but felt an unsettling vibration of a woman who i know, once upon a time.
(30/01/24)
© Josephine Daniels.
emotionally stressed games, using others like a cheap piece of material so easily discarded, once it becomes slightly torn.
It’s funny when now reflecting on those past experiences with her from those years ago. I sensed something, like an undercurrent in her behaviour, but I always said to myself. “ Give her the benefit of the doubt.” When thinking back on those numerous times when she was slagged off by others and i stood up for her, which she never knew about as i felt it was unfair of others, no giving her a chance with her being so new on the block. Then somewhere down the line, she turned her inner rage onto me and with shock and surprise, i quitely began to understand what all the others were talking about. There were occasions when the environment would so uncomfortable, i emotionally couldn’t breath. At first, i felt a real sense of happiness in my heart with someone being in close proximity of me and in similar circumstances, possibly starting over. As we all need to find our own path in our lives.
Sometimes, she would act like Dr.Jekyll then at other times she would suddenly turn into Mrs. Hyde. I never really understood which one i was talking to at times, as her personality seemed to take on a world of it’s own, but without the physical violence, as far as i knew.
It’s a fascinating thing about people’s behaviours, how they can suddenly become unapproachable after you have a bizarre experience with them. It’s even stranger when they project their weirdness onto you. Making you out to be the unpredictable one when along they are slowly manipulating each situation to gain continuous sympathy for themselves. This was an everyday game that she was a master at. To the point, when i tried to explain her behaviour to others, they believed that i was the one living in the land of make - believe.
I came to understand that she was obviously damaged in some way, through possible relationships with any previous parteners, maybe not enough love and understanding from her parents, or even problems with communications with her siblings and at times maybe a past friendship or two. I came to realise, that all vibrations with people are important and that some vibes are not always meant to be blended. During these most unfortunate and trouble some times that i was having to experience by her. I was in a physical and emotional change myself. Her behaviour only added to my life like a brain tumour, where you only have a few weeks to live. So not at all
helpful or caring or kind or considerate or thoughtful or understanding or empathic in any way, shape or form.
To the point where i know something had to give at some point.
Then it did, i began to remove us from such a negative, hostile, toxic and most
emotionally- draining situation.
So we started again, somewhere else, somewhere new.
The funny thing was around a year and a few days later, i dreamt about a two or three bedroomed house, with a car parked at the front of the house, with two number digits of a house number on a wall outside. In the front room i could see seashells either hanging up as a part of a design to something. A mobile phone on a table with matching sofa’s all in a new area not near me anymore in physical proximity, but a feeling of a clubhouse and a primary school near to this house that i dreamed about. On the signpost of the this village where she’d moved to, the word was not a long one but a short word, but unclear in it’s view.
A few months later, while waiting for my bus back to my home, i over heard a man’s conversation with a woman, both whom i’d recognised, from the block where i use to live. The man suddenly turned to me and asked me how i was and asked after my child too, with his usual friendly greeting, that i’d always recalled.
He then slowly brought me into the conversation with the lady who he was speaking with. I mainly listened to their conversation, in parts. They were discussing how the changes on the block had occurred, over the last few years.
He said that he was aware that the side of the street that i use to live in at one time (as did he) had changed with a few more families leaving. As he said this, he looked at me and said she apparently went with her lot too. A sudden shiver went straight down my back, as i recalled my dream from a few months before. Of a house that i’d never seem in real life, but felt an unsettling vibration of a woman who i know, once upon a time.
(30/01/24)
© Josephine Daniels.
