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Diary of a polygamous child
Continuition...
Amber, is mummy okay? my younger brother asked me this morning, while taking him to school. I was speechless, I couldn't find any answer to give, not because I didn't want to scare him but because I really don't know the answer to that question.
My mum hasn't been herself lately, no longer is the mother that's always smiling, showing her front gap tooth. My mum is a very devoted Muslim, she is like a solid pillar in our family, she believes in the might of true worshiping, a prayer warrior with strong belief, she would always wake us up at night for Tahajjud(night prayers). Even presently she never missed her prayers, it has even become more intense than before, she pray more fervently at night, crying to Allah to ease her burden.
Even though my siblings and I feel more distant from mother, drown in her pain, she forgot us, our needs,our take on the present situation,she unconsciously slur over our feelings, pushing us away. I know she is facing a trauma, I know she is strong, Any woman in her situation would take it far worse than her.
Last week she confided in me, "it's not that I'm against your dad marrying a second wife, No I'm not against it", she began with pain slipping through her words.
"the woman he want to marry, before her husband's death, she was like a sister to me, I care for her like I does to my other Muslim sisters around me, you should know that well. Even when her husband died, I never stopped showing care to her and her children, we've been sisters. Meanwhile she have been seeing my husband for two years without my knowledge, they made a fool out of me. i love your father very much, I gave him my youth, i sacrificed so much for this marriage. Your father can marry a second wife but not this one because this is a wrong approach". my mother said bitterly with tears streamng down her face in ache.
Sometimes I want to sympathise with the woman, she lost her husband at a very young age, left alone with four younger children, of course it is a big trauma that I pray, it should never happen to me nor to any of my close ones, on top of it all she does not have a job, a very pitiful situation.of course she really need to remarry so as to keep her and her children afloat, but we are talking about someone else's husband not just someone else but the husband of a woman, who have been like a sister to you before you even knew her husband, it's so unsettling!
I don't really know how to feel again, This morning I had to assure my brother that all will be well, which I pray so, I cant imagine living like this forever, NO! This is not the kind of life I want to live in, I have dreams, wishes that stages a happy family not a broken one, NO! I don't want that, that's not what I planned for my self, or is that God's plan for me?
To be continued...
@Amani_moment
© Amotulrosheed 🌹
Amber, is mummy okay? my younger brother asked me this morning, while taking him to school. I was speechless, I couldn't find any answer to give, not because I didn't want to scare him but because I really don't know the answer to that question.
My mum hasn't been herself lately, no longer is the mother that's always smiling, showing her front gap tooth. My mum is a very devoted Muslim, she is like a solid pillar in our family, she believes in the might of true worshiping, a prayer warrior with strong belief, she would always wake us up at night for Tahajjud(night prayers). Even presently she never missed her prayers, it has even become more intense than before, she pray more fervently at night, crying to Allah to ease her burden.
Even though my siblings and I feel more distant from mother, drown in her pain, she forgot us, our needs,our take on the present situation,she unconsciously slur over our feelings, pushing us away. I know she is facing a trauma, I know she is strong, Any woman in her situation would take it far worse than her.
Last week she confided in me, "it's not that I'm against your dad marrying a second wife, No I'm not against it", she began with pain slipping through her words.
"the woman he want to marry, before her husband's death, she was like a sister to me, I care for her like I does to my other Muslim sisters around me, you should know that well. Even when her husband died, I never stopped showing care to her and her children, we've been sisters. Meanwhile she have been seeing my husband for two years without my knowledge, they made a fool out of me. i love your father very much, I gave him my youth, i sacrificed so much for this marriage. Your father can marry a second wife but not this one because this is a wrong approach". my mother said bitterly with tears streamng down her face in ache.
Sometimes I want to sympathise with the woman, she lost her husband at a very young age, left alone with four younger children, of course it is a big trauma that I pray, it should never happen to me nor to any of my close ones, on top of it all she does not have a job, a very pitiful situation.of course she really need to remarry so as to keep her and her children afloat, but we are talking about someone else's husband not just someone else but the husband of a woman, who have been like a sister to you before you even knew her husband, it's so unsettling!
I don't really know how to feel again, This morning I had to assure my brother that all will be well, which I pray so, I cant imagine living like this forever, NO! This is not the kind of life I want to live in, I have dreams, wishes that stages a happy family not a broken one, NO! I don't want that, that's not what I planned for my self, or is that God's plan for me?
To be continued...
@Amani_moment
© Amotulrosheed 🌹
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