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eighteenth birthday
Day by day I grow closer to my death. I, with no story to tell. I, with no words to tell. I'm with trauma no one can understan. I'm with words no one will read. Slowly waiting for my death as my existence disappears.
My mother cries for a daughter she despised. My father screams in agony for a daughter he ignored. My sister holds on to me with words of apologies. My brother holding my hand tightly as I'm at a loss for words.
Never did I want an apology from my family. Never did I wish for pity from the people who tortured me...
I remember my mother screaming at me for not being her perfect daughter. I remember I always wanting my father's attention and him always ignoring me. I remembered my sister always destroying my things with a smile on her face, knowing nothing will happen to her. I remebered my brother making a mess and blaming me.
Every day was like a day in hell. Every day was a pain to live. I, knowing I wished for death; I praying for the grim reaper to come.
Knowing they regreted what they did. Knowing everything they did to me. It all just brings me so much more pain. It all just kills me even more. I want this torture to end. I want to be forgotten. I need to finally be free.
My family now cries but what about when they didn't? They regret now but only for forgiveness.
I was never apart of this family and I accept that but I won't accept their pitty. I won't accept their apologies. I won't forgive them. They don't deserve that from me.
I stab my chest with a smile on my face. My family screaming for help as an ambulance is called. Everyone in a panic as everything goes pitch dark for me.
I can hear everything but I can't see anything. It's getting harder to breathe as I'm quickly losing blood. I'm between life and death.
This was the moment I was reborn. No longer was I the daughter, nor the sister of that family. This new life has become my start.
Days passed as I'm between life and death. I wait for my eyes to open wide. This was how I spent my eighteenth birthday.
No one cried for me until today...
© Sammy Ayala
My mother cries for a daughter she despised. My father screams in agony for a daughter he ignored. My sister holds on to me with words of apologies. My brother holding my hand tightly as I'm at a loss for words.
Never did I want an apology from my family. Never did I wish for pity from the people who tortured me...
I remember my mother screaming at me for not being her perfect daughter. I remember I always wanting my father's attention and him always ignoring me. I remembered my sister always destroying my things with a smile on her face, knowing nothing will happen to her. I remebered my brother making a mess and blaming me.
Every day was like a day in hell. Every day was a pain to live. I, knowing I wished for death; I praying for the grim reaper to come.
Knowing they regreted what they did. Knowing everything they did to me. It all just brings me so much more pain. It all just kills me even more. I want this torture to end. I want to be forgotten. I need to finally be free.
My family now cries but what about when they didn't? They regret now but only for forgiveness.
I was never apart of this family and I accept that but I won't accept their pitty. I won't accept their apologies. I won't forgive them. They don't deserve that from me.
I stab my chest with a smile on my face. My family screaming for help as an ambulance is called. Everyone in a panic as everything goes pitch dark for me.
I can hear everything but I can't see anything. It's getting harder to breathe as I'm quickly losing blood. I'm between life and death.
This was the moment I was reborn. No longer was I the daughter, nor the sister of that family. This new life has become my start.
Days passed as I'm between life and death. I wait for my eyes to open wide. This was how I spent my eighteenth birthday.
No one cried for me until today...
© Sammy Ayala
