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why, when and who do we marry?
Marriage is an institution that has only one lecturer God, he's the instructors, the helper,the deal keeper, the consultant, the gist keeper, the link between the vows and glue on the bound, he's the friend, the partner to the couple, the communication,the regulator, and more most of all he is the foundation.
Why do we marry?
Marriage is not by force, it is not a qualification, or title, it is not for people who aren't ready, who are not sure, there are not carry overs and no promotion, no partner is superior or inferior but equal to the other.
First the divine concept for marriage is companionship and help. ....therefore man shall 'leave' his father and his mother and "cling" to his wife and the two shall become one.... the ideology is visible when he that finds a wife as according to proverbs 31:10-31 finds a good thing and obtain favor from the Lord. When there is a *seeking and a finding* the *leaving* come into play then the *clinging*, however these steps are in *stereoscopic progress*, meaning that there's is not jumping a step, it is in the order of times from the creation... The concept of companionship and help is the original reason for marriage, pro-creation is mandate "increase,multiple and subdue the earth"
While children are gifts from God "...lo children are heritage of the lord the fruit of the womb is their reward like arrows in the hands of the might so are children of your youth, blessed is the man who have them full of his quiver for he will not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemy at the gates"
I took my time to explain this revelation so as to open our minds to the fact that the number of children you have doesn't determine or change the original concept of marriage.Children as precious as they are, do not determine the success of any marriage.
Why Do We Marry?
We marry because God is particular about that institution,it is in his peculiar will that a man and woman be joined together in his ordinance,to function as one.
Why?
Because God wants a man to have a helpmate, a go to person,a counsel, someone who not only looks like him but shares his flesh and his bones, someone who understands him and acknowledges him,a peace bringer,a solution seeker to stand for and with him when it is needed,the care giver to his winded mind, heart and body,his intimate and soul mate..
When Do We Marry?
When we are mature enough,"...for it is not Good for a man to be alone,let us make for him a help mate," when we come to the realization that we need to agree to walk together Amos 3:3, when the persons involve understand the true meaning of man and woman,and this have more to do than the stereotyped meaning of intimacy, when you can support yourself and support your man without hoping it is a "do me i do you" affair, and he in turn can boldly show you how much you are important to him not just by words or paper and sex, when the two of you can resolve conflict like best friends, and move on as if not happened Without calling a family conference meeting, when you both know each other flaws,demons and still want to be with that person, when you look, think of that person and your feel favoured, when you are particular about the progress of that person, when you deeply can't make any decision that will not have the person in consideration, when you find it hard to hurt the person regardless of what the person has done, when you mess up the first person you need to share with will be that person and when you hit a success level the only person on your mind is that person, Yes,that is when you should marry. You don't have to keep the tradition of saying *I love you* cos you know That. for a fact.
Who Then Do We Marry?
Before I proceed I will like to tell you that Love is a pregnant compound *words* as well as *feelings* it is beyond that skipping a heartbeat,or tightening of the chest, don't worry It is not symptoms of heart attack😀
Hence all we have been talking about and will still talk about are symptoms of love and marriage...Before we talk about who to marry, let's talk about your preparations to marriage. There are lot of books and articles on marriage and it preparations, but I want to talk about two vital things, to positioning yourself at the right place to seek or to be found, you have to answer truthfully these;
A, who are you or who you are?
B, what do you want for yourself?.🤔
A. Who Are You?
This is an interview questions yes?
But in this interview it is for self evaluation, who is *put your name* in the gap and itemize all you know about yourself, the good, the bad, the worst, the darkest, the untold hidden ugly, the fearful, vulnerable, strongest and difficult things about you. Then concentrate on the strengths put emphasis on them, now live in those attributes, the weak one, learn to work on getting better, be intentional to drop them....the others that you can't share, out up energy to share them but not to everyone.
Who You Want For Yourself?
Are your goals, dreams,visions, realistic or otherwise, write in you the stages you want to walk into your future, the formula, the method, plans without forgot that there is a supreme force that activate all things, be particular about all the details, it is like drawing a house plan, know all the nooks and crannies of what you want for yourself, be selfish about it, be stubborn about it, let's everyone know that your artistry see your arts, don't malice your colours as your brushes, how by staying focused on what you want for yourself.and when achieve a step celebrate and move on to more wins.
Motivate yourself to going back harder than the previous to times when you fail, learn from the bunching bag, recognize the difference in reality and truth, your reality may be a cook but your truth (dreams and future) maybe a chef, each time you fail, you add to the archives of knowing one more way the plan can fail so as not to try it the second time. Be yourself, refuse pressure, be natural yet essential, be real, run your race in your lane, listen to your tic tac, put your mind to your own business, pay attention to every single details about you, na only for movie prince dey marry village girl for love and vise versa,in reality, you are addressed by how you dress.
I once met a guy on my way to Ibadan, we got talking, and he showed interest in yours faithfully😆, and you know guys, we had conversations about what we both wanted... Long story short, I told him I had a kid, he said it would not work for him and we went our different ways, cos I knew I wasn't ever going to hide my beautiful daughter no matter what, I remember someone jokingly asking me if I was paying school fees for my child or my brother at the bank once and even though I was paying for a nephew I didn't remove my daughter from the equation. why am I saying this, marriage and relationship is too fragile to build on lies, your priorities are important, your past are very "importanter"
Your dreams are also "very importanter" you see when you date a guy that has all you want in a man and he doesn't ask you about what you want for yourself, then leave him, he is going to crush the rest of what you have left afterwards, I remember speaking to someone about my plans and he said,"I am not the one you should he speaking to about this" ❌ flag, be vigilant about it, I was speaking to someone about his relationship in one of our sessions, he said, my wife doesn't want to work, I have tried my best, to help her stand on her on feet, and I remembered vividly that it took God and efforts to get that relationship through that issue.
In essence, somethings big or small matters to the health and longevity of any relationship, there are expectations to be met, he/she will not change cos of you!it will not work you are not holy spirit, you don't possess the power to change any one, lastly, we all have trust issues, we have been hurt before, most of us have been broken before, we all know the signs, if it is not working for you don't manage it into marriage, divorce doesn't work in this part of the world and even it is does look before you leap, cheating is not only when you sleep with another person alone. Know that and know peace.
Who Are We To Marry?
Aside from the physical features and the God fearing abilities, people don't have preference, you may marry from the church and still choose wrongful, listen to me, just like the hospital, the church is a healing facility too, people come in to praise God on exchange for something, this is the truth, everything you do in the church is in exchange for something. the walls of the church accommodate a lot of people without judging them, so whilst you are in church or anywhere else shopping for a spouse remember these, when you put your heart to things that matter to you anyone who's coming into your life "must" (subjectively) fit in, no round pegs in square holes.
You are what you attract.you want a king, act, talk, dress relate as a queen so much that when men see you they see a queen. and vise versa
Don't settle for less.
I have been getting questions and comments, whilst all your opinions and questions are valid I hope that I have answered them as we proceeded but if not, please ask again. I hope you have enjoyed and learnt new things.... With this it's a wrap guys🎶👏🏻🎉🎊
© RUBEE
Why do we marry?
Marriage is not by force, it is not a qualification, or title, it is not for people who aren't ready, who are not sure, there are not carry overs and no promotion, no partner is superior or inferior but equal to the other.
First the divine concept for marriage is companionship and help. ....therefore man shall 'leave' his father and his mother and "cling" to his wife and the two shall become one.... the ideology is visible when he that finds a wife as according to proverbs 31:10-31 finds a good thing and obtain favor from the Lord. When there is a *seeking and a finding* the *leaving* come into play then the *clinging*, however these steps are in *stereoscopic progress*, meaning that there's is not jumping a step, it is in the order of times from the creation... The concept of companionship and help is the original reason for marriage, pro-creation is mandate "increase,multiple and subdue the earth"
While children are gifts from God "...lo children are heritage of the lord the fruit of the womb is their reward like arrows in the hands of the might so are children of your youth, blessed is the man who have them full of his quiver for he will not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemy at the gates"
I took my time to explain this revelation so as to open our minds to the fact that the number of children you have doesn't determine or change the original concept of marriage.Children as precious as they are, do not determine the success of any marriage.
Why Do We Marry?
We marry because God is particular about that institution,it is in his peculiar will that a man and woman be joined together in his ordinance,to function as one.
Why?
Because God wants a man to have a helpmate, a go to person,a counsel, someone who not only looks like him but shares his flesh and his bones, someone who understands him and acknowledges him,a peace bringer,a solution seeker to stand for and with him when it is needed,the care giver to his winded mind, heart and body,his intimate and soul mate..
When Do We Marry?
When we are mature enough,"...for it is not Good for a man to be alone,let us make for him a help mate," when we come to the realization that we need to agree to walk together Amos 3:3, when the persons involve understand the true meaning of man and woman,and this have more to do than the stereotyped meaning of intimacy, when you can support yourself and support your man without hoping it is a "do me i do you" affair, and he in turn can boldly show you how much you are important to him not just by words or paper and sex, when the two of you can resolve conflict like best friends, and move on as if not happened Without calling a family conference meeting, when you both know each other flaws,demons and still want to be with that person, when you look, think of that person and your feel favoured, when you are particular about the progress of that person, when you deeply can't make any decision that will not have the person in consideration, when you find it hard to hurt the person regardless of what the person has done, when you mess up the first person you need to share with will be that person and when you hit a success level the only person on your mind is that person, Yes,that is when you should marry. You don't have to keep the tradition of saying *I love you* cos you know That. for a fact.
Who Then Do We Marry?
Before I proceed I will like to tell you that Love is a pregnant compound *words* as well as *feelings* it is beyond that skipping a heartbeat,or tightening of the chest, don't worry It is not symptoms of heart attack😀
Hence all we have been talking about and will still talk about are symptoms of love and marriage...Before we talk about who to marry, let's talk about your preparations to marriage. There are lot of books and articles on marriage and it preparations, but I want to talk about two vital things, to positioning yourself at the right place to seek or to be found, you have to answer truthfully these;
A, who are you or who you are?
B, what do you want for yourself?.🤔
A. Who Are You?
This is an interview questions yes?
But in this interview it is for self evaluation, who is *put your name* in the gap and itemize all you know about yourself, the good, the bad, the worst, the darkest, the untold hidden ugly, the fearful, vulnerable, strongest and difficult things about you. Then concentrate on the strengths put emphasis on them, now live in those attributes, the weak one, learn to work on getting better, be intentional to drop them....the others that you can't share, out up energy to share them but not to everyone.
Who You Want For Yourself?
Are your goals, dreams,visions, realistic or otherwise, write in you the stages you want to walk into your future, the formula, the method, plans without forgot that there is a supreme force that activate all things, be particular about all the details, it is like drawing a house plan, know all the nooks and crannies of what you want for yourself, be selfish about it, be stubborn about it, let's everyone know that your artistry see your arts, don't malice your colours as your brushes, how by staying focused on what you want for yourself.and when achieve a step celebrate and move on to more wins.
Motivate yourself to going back harder than the previous to times when you fail, learn from the bunching bag, recognize the difference in reality and truth, your reality may be a cook but your truth (dreams and future) maybe a chef, each time you fail, you add to the archives of knowing one more way the plan can fail so as not to try it the second time. Be yourself, refuse pressure, be natural yet essential, be real, run your race in your lane, listen to your tic tac, put your mind to your own business, pay attention to every single details about you, na only for movie prince dey marry village girl for love and vise versa,in reality, you are addressed by how you dress.
I once met a guy on my way to Ibadan, we got talking, and he showed interest in yours faithfully😆, and you know guys, we had conversations about what we both wanted... Long story short, I told him I had a kid, he said it would not work for him and we went our different ways, cos I knew I wasn't ever going to hide my beautiful daughter no matter what, I remember someone jokingly asking me if I was paying school fees for my child or my brother at the bank once and even though I was paying for a nephew I didn't remove my daughter from the equation. why am I saying this, marriage and relationship is too fragile to build on lies, your priorities are important, your past are very "importanter"
Your dreams are also "very importanter" you see when you date a guy that has all you want in a man and he doesn't ask you about what you want for yourself, then leave him, he is going to crush the rest of what you have left afterwards, I remember speaking to someone about my plans and he said,"I am not the one you should he speaking to about this" ❌ flag, be vigilant about it, I was speaking to someone about his relationship in one of our sessions, he said, my wife doesn't want to work, I have tried my best, to help her stand on her on feet, and I remembered vividly that it took God and efforts to get that relationship through that issue.
In essence, somethings big or small matters to the health and longevity of any relationship, there are expectations to be met, he/she will not change cos of you!it will not work you are not holy spirit, you don't possess the power to change any one, lastly, we all have trust issues, we have been hurt before, most of us have been broken before, we all know the signs, if it is not working for you don't manage it into marriage, divorce doesn't work in this part of the world and even it is does look before you leap, cheating is not only when you sleep with another person alone. Know that and know peace.
Who Are We To Marry?
Aside from the physical features and the God fearing abilities, people don't have preference, you may marry from the church and still choose wrongful, listen to me, just like the hospital, the church is a healing facility too, people come in to praise God on exchange for something, this is the truth, everything you do in the church is in exchange for something. the walls of the church accommodate a lot of people without judging them, so whilst you are in church or anywhere else shopping for a spouse remember these, when you put your heart to things that matter to you anyone who's coming into your life "must" (subjectively) fit in, no round pegs in square holes.
You are what you attract.you want a king, act, talk, dress relate as a queen so much that when men see you they see a queen. and vise versa
Don't settle for less.
I have been getting questions and comments, whilst all your opinions and questions are valid I hope that I have answered them as we proceeded but if not, please ask again. I hope you have enjoyed and learnt new things.... With this it's a wrap guys🎶👏🏻🎉🎊
© RUBEE
