I sat awake , crossed legged on my bed. My mind was up and running, it was in a state of total chaos a big contrast to how my environment was at that time of the day, peaceful and quiet.
What kept me up ?
Oh well, a lot was on my mind. I mean I was scrolling through social media and seeing brilliant achievements my mates were dolling out. I was seeing transformed version of some old school mates and making a contrast with my life and theirs I felt so insignificant. More like a sack of potatoes.
These people had the luxury, the fun,skincare,cool friends not to mention their achievements financially. I wanted that life, so so badly but I didn't want to get envious and going through their social media pages was something that left me depressed and put my mind in a chaos like it's in right now. How do I attain this ? I asked myself, I thought and then it actually dawned on me that in as much as I didn't have what they have I definitely am not same person who used to sit in class with them. There was a big change but I wanted MORE so much more. I had a couple of ideas listed out on self development and I decided I was going to throw myself in full time to this self development.
I've always had the bold and outspoken personality even with my underlying insecurities, so I began to scout for opportunities and began to put myself out there the more. Then I adopted the content creation and writing skill cause why not.
I had more than enough ideas for contents not forgetting the fact that I love being in front of a camera lens😂.
I might not be famous yet but I'm gaining grounds more like building a firm foundation for the bigger project ahead 😂.
There's a lot to still be done, I still have those insecurities too but then when they come knocking I look back on my little wins and then I become happy not because I'm where I want to be but because I'm not where I used to be and I'm making big progress towards where I want to be.
I just really hope that where I want to be is where God really wants me to be.
© Beccå