6 views
About Jack Part 2
The ringing in his ears forced his eyes to focus threw the blinding white light. The ringing came in waves of pitch. Each deeper than the last until eventually the ringing turned into words.
"...can... hear me?....Jack?....stay….me.."
There is pressure on his face and his eyes burned. He blinks repeatedly trying to make out anything other than white.
"Where…" he managed
Suddenly his eyes focus and the street lamp above came into view. Glass littered and gleamed in the road in all shapes and sizes. His car rolled onto it's top sinking into itself. Jack inhales sharp as flashes of the car rolling down the highway comes into hyper focus in his mind. "I don't...I don't remember…" he said trying to turn his head to look up at who had been talking to him.
A male officer looked back at him. The tramas he has seen hardened into deep lines crowning his forehead.
His eyes somehow seemed familiar to Jack but only as a fleeting thought.
"Son, your driver got pulled into a ditch by some gravel going to fast. I'm sorry to tell you that they had been vaulted out of the windshield on impact and was D.O.A. I'm so sorry."
"My driver? I didn't have a…."
"I'm so sorry sir, I just need you to remain calm"
The officer blurred into white just as fast as he came into focus.
Nothing but blinding light and a high pitched hum. Jack was nothing else and his anxiety spiked in the confusion.
I don't….I don't remember….
…………
He didn't know when reality had dropped out. Or how much time, where, or how he was. He just knew that he was, once more.
Jack slowly pulled himself from the depth of his mind and found himself in a bright yellow waiting room. Sitting with his head bowed into his arms. The smell of blood pungent on his flannel shirt. Body numb and nothing in his mind but that hum. He looks up to see his mother holding his son. Her face darkened sunken in. She hands Eli to Jack and hugs them both.
Jack didn't need to be told who was driving the car that night.
His mother's grief and his sons lost haunted stare, that mirrored Jack's, told him that the only way he will see Debra again is by looking into his son's eyes.
The family held together not speaking not moving just gripping on to each other to feel anything past the hole that Debra left behind.
Time wasn't real. Jack barely felt himself in his own skin, forgetting to breath hoping it in turn would suffocated his own wallowing. Yet he wanted to wallow. He needed this dread this burden was his, and his alone. He made the choice to lie to her. He made the choice to not come home.
Moments, maybe hours time was not real. Eventually his mother pulls away taking Eli back into her arms and walked away down the hall. Jack stared at the ground.
What have I done
A man came and to sit across from him. But Jack would not be bothered. Lost in only the hum in his head.
The man cleared his throat and waited.
Jack still just sat, staring through the deep blue carpet that he could not feel beneath him.
The man then stood to sit next to him.
"Jack, I'm sorry." The man said. Jack finally turned to see his father staring at him.
Jack's 17 year long deepest question.
But Jack had nothing left in him. He looked at his father the same way he looked at the carpet.
"Oh son, I would of stayed if it would of shown you it's ok to leave." His dad paused a moment analyzing his son's husk.
"If the toxic environment of me staying had been the one you grew up in maybe you would have grown up to hate it.. Maybe just maybe she might still be alive. If only you didn't use her to make yourself whole. If only you loved your son enough to walk away like I did."
As he spoke, a spark of life fueled in anger began to swell in Jack as he barked his reply,
"I stayed and still can't give my son a family."
"It was because you stayed. You both have been lost for too long….
"
"No, I chose not to come home, and she came after me." Jack yelled
"Neither of you were happy. Both if you created chaos and sent it into the world. So the world sent it back."
"I don't now or ever need you to tell me how to live my life!" Jack spat back. Hatred, as blame began to set, fueling every word.
"Son, show your son it's ok to be happy for the betterment of you, for the betterment of you all"
"It's too late! Debra is DEAD!"
His dad stood to leave, but Jack was lost in hatred.
"Why did you do it? Why all this time? Why this day?! What the fuck do you want from me!" Jack screamed taking himself to his feet.
His dad looked to the ground the wrinkles on his brow so hard pressed Jack hoped it would just collapse on itself.
"I left because I was a horrible partner for your mother and would of been a worse father. You were going to resent me one way or another ..." His voice trailed off as he continued to reflect. Slowly he smiles and starts again, "Your mother is the strongest person I have ever met and I knew she would make sure you were taken care of. I chose to leave you in the most capable of hands and keep you away from the demons I created and called my life…. I never haven't loved you. Although I can see how your confused. I know you were very little and I can only imagine the pain of me leaving. On top of everything else that ensued. I put you through that knowing full well that, that was still going to be a better life for you."
Jack scoffed and raises his voice to interrupt but his father's voice boomed back with authority.
"Your childhood otherwise would of been watching your mother and I scream, punch, kick, and tear each other down. We never would have worked. She would of drowned in her sorrows as I lived in a bottle. I watched you with young innocent eyes look up to me after your mother slapped me, and I made a choice. You would not hate me for allowing the chaos to continue. I made the choice to leave. I couldn't watch you watch me and for me to expect better from you.
I would not allow you to be raised into thinking that that life style was anyway close to acceptable. I tried to save you from the cycle…..Yet here you are. I'm sorry. Truly sorry." His father turns away from him and takes a step away.
Jack's heart began to race.
"Wait!" He yells as his vision begins to blur.
"I don't understand!"
"Jack my son do what I could not for you. Do it for Eli. Break the cycle, walk away."
Jack's head began to spin. His heart began to race as his mind went black
...
..
.
Shaking himself awake Jack finds himself reclined fully in the passenger side of his car.
Oh thank God it's not real! Jack thought before his hangover kicked into gear.
His eyes ache from dehydration. He looks at his phone.
88 Missed Calls
106 Unread Messages
15 Voicemails
5% battery.
Jack stretched and searched the cluttered car for the emergency bottle of water. Finding and downing the water he reflects on his dream, and his night with Samantha.
His phone starts to ring. It's Debra. He stares at it for a long time letting it ring.
The choice was now. He could feel it.
He knew what he had to do.
Yet fear seized him.
Just before the phone went to voicemail he answered...
"JACK! WHAT THE HELL?! WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?!"
Jack inhaled sharply and held it.
"....I'm sorry…..I'll be home soon…"
…
..
.
@PeightonMakany
© PeightonMakany
"...can... hear me?....Jack?....stay….me.."
There is pressure on his face and his eyes burned. He blinks repeatedly trying to make out anything other than white.
"Where…" he managed
Suddenly his eyes focus and the street lamp above came into view. Glass littered and gleamed in the road in all shapes and sizes. His car rolled onto it's top sinking into itself. Jack inhales sharp as flashes of the car rolling down the highway comes into hyper focus in his mind. "I don't...I don't remember…" he said trying to turn his head to look up at who had been talking to him.
A male officer looked back at him. The tramas he has seen hardened into deep lines crowning his forehead.
His eyes somehow seemed familiar to Jack but only as a fleeting thought.
"Son, your driver got pulled into a ditch by some gravel going to fast. I'm sorry to tell you that they had been vaulted out of the windshield on impact and was D.O.A. I'm so sorry."
"My driver? I didn't have a…."
"I'm so sorry sir, I just need you to remain calm"
The officer blurred into white just as fast as he came into focus.
Nothing but blinding light and a high pitched hum. Jack was nothing else and his anxiety spiked in the confusion.
I don't….I don't remember….
…………
He didn't know when reality had dropped out. Or how much time, where, or how he was. He just knew that he was, once more.
Jack slowly pulled himself from the depth of his mind and found himself in a bright yellow waiting room. Sitting with his head bowed into his arms. The smell of blood pungent on his flannel shirt. Body numb and nothing in his mind but that hum. He looks up to see his mother holding his son. Her face darkened sunken in. She hands Eli to Jack and hugs them both.
Jack didn't need to be told who was driving the car that night.
His mother's grief and his sons lost haunted stare, that mirrored Jack's, told him that the only way he will see Debra again is by looking into his son's eyes.
The family held together not speaking not moving just gripping on to each other to feel anything past the hole that Debra left behind.
Time wasn't real. Jack barely felt himself in his own skin, forgetting to breath hoping it in turn would suffocated his own wallowing. Yet he wanted to wallow. He needed this dread this burden was his, and his alone. He made the choice to lie to her. He made the choice to not come home.
Moments, maybe hours time was not real. Eventually his mother pulls away taking Eli back into her arms and walked away down the hall. Jack stared at the ground.
What have I done
A man came and to sit across from him. But Jack would not be bothered. Lost in only the hum in his head.
The man cleared his throat and waited.
Jack still just sat, staring through the deep blue carpet that he could not feel beneath him.
The man then stood to sit next to him.
"Jack, I'm sorry." The man said. Jack finally turned to see his father staring at him.
Jack's 17 year long deepest question.
But Jack had nothing left in him. He looked at his father the same way he looked at the carpet.
"Oh son, I would of stayed if it would of shown you it's ok to leave." His dad paused a moment analyzing his son's husk.
"If the toxic environment of me staying had been the one you grew up in maybe you would have grown up to hate it.. Maybe just maybe she might still be alive. If only you didn't use her to make yourself whole. If only you loved your son enough to walk away like I did."
As he spoke, a spark of life fueled in anger began to swell in Jack as he barked his reply,
"I stayed and still can't give my son a family."
"It was because you stayed. You both have been lost for too long….
"
"No, I chose not to come home, and she came after me." Jack yelled
"Neither of you were happy. Both if you created chaos and sent it into the world. So the world sent it back."
"I don't now or ever need you to tell me how to live my life!" Jack spat back. Hatred, as blame began to set, fueling every word.
"Son, show your son it's ok to be happy for the betterment of you, for the betterment of you all"
"It's too late! Debra is DEAD!"
His dad stood to leave, but Jack was lost in hatred.
"Why did you do it? Why all this time? Why this day?! What the fuck do you want from me!" Jack screamed taking himself to his feet.
His dad looked to the ground the wrinkles on his brow so hard pressed Jack hoped it would just collapse on itself.
"I left because I was a horrible partner for your mother and would of been a worse father. You were going to resent me one way or another ..." His voice trailed off as he continued to reflect. Slowly he smiles and starts again, "Your mother is the strongest person I have ever met and I knew she would make sure you were taken care of. I chose to leave you in the most capable of hands and keep you away from the demons I created and called my life…. I never haven't loved you. Although I can see how your confused. I know you were very little and I can only imagine the pain of me leaving. On top of everything else that ensued. I put you through that knowing full well that, that was still going to be a better life for you."
Jack scoffed and raises his voice to interrupt but his father's voice boomed back with authority.
"Your childhood otherwise would of been watching your mother and I scream, punch, kick, and tear each other down. We never would have worked. She would of drowned in her sorrows as I lived in a bottle. I watched you with young innocent eyes look up to me after your mother slapped me, and I made a choice. You would not hate me for allowing the chaos to continue. I made the choice to leave. I couldn't watch you watch me and for me to expect better from you.
I would not allow you to be raised into thinking that that life style was anyway close to acceptable. I tried to save you from the cycle…..Yet here you are. I'm sorry. Truly sorry." His father turns away from him and takes a step away.
Jack's heart began to race.
"Wait!" He yells as his vision begins to blur.
"I don't understand!"
"Jack my son do what I could not for you. Do it for Eli. Break the cycle, walk away."
Jack's head began to spin. His heart began to race as his mind went black
...
..
.
Shaking himself awake Jack finds himself reclined fully in the passenger side of his car.
Oh thank God it's not real! Jack thought before his hangover kicked into gear.
His eyes ache from dehydration. He looks at his phone.
88 Missed Calls
106 Unread Messages
15 Voicemails
5% battery.
Jack stretched and searched the cluttered car for the emergency bottle of water. Finding and downing the water he reflects on his dream, and his night with Samantha.
His phone starts to ring. It's Debra. He stares at it for a long time letting it ring.
The choice was now. He could feel it.
He knew what he had to do.
Yet fear seized him.
Just before the phone went to voicemail he answered...
"JACK! WHAT THE HELL?! WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?!"
Jack inhaled sharply and held it.
"....I'm sorry…..I'll be home soon…"
…
..
.
@PeightonMakany
© PeightonMakany
