I believed too hard
I trusted too much
I took the bait
What did I expect?

It's always one hit after the other
A good day is always a bad omen
the more good days in a row, the worst the next tragedy will be

The downhill is inevitable
I never finish anything I start
I think too negatively
There's no way out of the loop

I keep coming back to it
eating my sorrows weight in glucose
sweeten my guts till I puke them out
I know it's bad for me but it helps me forget what I can't change

At least I'm not cutting myself
At least I'm not drinking
At least I'm not killing myself
At least I'm not....

hurting myself
my tongue burns
my stomach twists
my body lurches

It's brutal
no relief
No reward
just colorful toilet water

loosing weight
gaining weight
loosinh weight
gaining weight

loosing
gaining
loosing
gaining over and over

brushing my teeth until they bleed
my mouth still tastes like candy
I crave more but I can't stomach it
eat anyways since it's better than crying

It's not a real addiction
but my addiction is real
Will I stop any time soon?
I hope my guess is wrong

Cherry
Orange
Lemon
Lime

Blueberry
Grape
Bubblegum
sweet and sour

More more more
I want more and I love it
I need more and i hate it
so sweet on the tongue
My tastebuds bleed

staring eyes
roaring laughter
empty minds
speaking mouths

room spinning
loud music
bright lights
heart pounding

thoughts and memories blur
the world blurs and brightens
My body feels so light
what's that ringing sound?

I think I need to lie down...