There was a knock at the door."
Come on!" the pastor said. Katherine opened the door. "pastor Jeff, do you have a minute?" Catherine asked. "of course come in ." he said. She sat down. She sat down. He offered her a cup of coffee, she accepted. "you don't look so well." he said. "I am not. I close my eyes, I see her face. I keep reliving it over and over again. I have gone over it a thousand times. "she said.
"There is nothing you could have done. She ran into your car on purpose. "Jeff said. "I know that. I wish I could have done something. A woman is dead. a mom, a wife, a daughter, sister. A husband is without his wife, daughters are without their mom. I killed her. "she said.
"no one blames you. You are not responsible. "he said. "why do I feel like I am a responsible pastor ?" she asked.
"Because you care. You are a kind and compassionate person. "he said. "will I always feel like this? Will I always feel this empty inside?" she asked.
"our lord is the God of all comfort. This will pass. Will you live with it for a long time perhaps your whole life, maybe? It will not last forever. You won't feel like this. "Jeff said."I felt so. powerless when my cousin's tablet took her own life. I swore I would never let it happen again. "she said. "you did not know her. from what I heard she was a believer .she set her trust in the lord," he said.
"I had heard that. Her husband is a pastor. I truly hope that is the case. "she said. " you have to forgive yourself. "Jeff said. " what if her daughters blame me or take their mom? "she asked ."they have no just cause in doing so," he answered.
She went home. She went inside. There was a knock at the door. She opened it ."I am from Sabato flowers. I am looking for Katherine Hagerty." he said. "I am Catherine Hagerty," she said. "these are for you. "he said. It was a large bouquet. She set had him set them in the living room. "I have a letter that was to accompany them. "he said. He gave it to her. She thanked him.
"This is beautiful. "she said ."it was a very nice collection," he said .he left. She pulled out the letter. She read the letter. "dear Katie, thank you for your kind words. I am so sorry that you got caught up in all of this. This is not fair that you did. i want to know that both my family and my wife's family do not blame you. We are heartbroken that you did get caught up in all of this. "
"I would like to meet you. As soon as things calm down, we can do that. I wish you all the best. I hope that you can heal from this. I believe this must be devastating for you. you are in my thoughts and prayers. love matt"
She believed that he was a very nice man. she felt for him. She could not imagine what he was going through. She felt for him and his family, especially his kids.

One day, she got a phone call. She did not recognize the number. "hello." she said. "Katie, it's matt. Matt grant. "he said. "hi thank you for the flowers. They were very beautiful. I appreciated your note. "she said."I appreciated your words. "he said. " I hope I did not encroach by coming but I wanted to be there," she said. "I understand. I am glad you were. "he said.
"would you like to get together for coffee sometime ?" he asked. "I would love that. "she said. "great!" he said.
They arranged to meet at a small cofee house in the next town. they did not want attention. The story was the talk of the town. It made the local news. It was focused on other media markets in the state as well. Even cable news covered it. Matt did not do any interviews. Not even with Christian radio stations. The news media had moved on but you never know. The widower meeting with the driver might elicit unwanted attention.
He saw her and parked next to her. He got out. She smiled. He smiled back. She hugged him. She cried. "I can't express how sorry I am. I know I was just a random driver. It could have been anyone but I can shake the feeling of responsibility. I wish we could meet under better circumstances. "she said.
"I do too. It is good to finally meet you. "he said. "likewise." she said. He opened the van. "hi girls, I am Katie. "she said. "this is Cayce, mayce, and Nina. "he said. She picked up Nina. He got mayce. He helped Cayce out of her seat. They walked to the cofee shop.
She sat with the girls. He got the orders. She asked the girl their ages. She asked mayce about her teddy bear. She made faces at nina. Matt watched as he was in line. He smiled. He ordered the cofee and donuts. He paid for the orders and then got the orders and brought them to the table.
He sat down. "I understand you're a pastor. "she said. "yes I pastor the gospel Baptist Church. "he said. "I go to Morrison community church. I know I know!" she said. He laughed.
"I am glad about your belief. I have a doctrinal disagreement with your church. I know some dear people go there. "he said. "I like it. "she said."that's good," he said.
"I am so sorry you were arrested and spent the night in jail. That was unnecessary.
"he said. "it was ok. I can tell my grandkids about the night I spent I'm jail "she said."I guess I could see that. "he said.
"Have you resumed pastoring?" she asked."I have. I took some time off..the church has been amazing. They have stood by me every step of the way. They have accommodated me. i eased back into the pastorate. I am back. Our church is like a family. Most of my family live nearby. They have helped me out. "he said.
"you plan on staying at the church and the area?" she asked."yes I do. I love the church. they want me to continue. As long as the church membership will have me, and I feel the lord wants me to, I will. continue to serve there. "he said.
"that's good. I think you should. "she said."I love this area. "he said ."I do too. It's a beautiful area. I love the mountains. "she said "I do as well." he said.
"Are you getting counseling?" she asked."my das is a pastor. He and I meet once a week. i am talking to a pastor who specializes in counseling those who have experienced loss. He has experience with families who lost people to suicide. It has been very helpful." he said.
"good. I am glad. "she said. "have you talked to anyone about what you have experienced?" she asked."I have been talking to my pastor. I go to counseling for depression and anxiety anyways. I have talked to her extensively about it. "she admitted.
"do you have nightmares about it?" he asked. "I do. It hunts me, Matt. I am not going to lie and say it does not. "she said. "I can't imagine. It hunts me but I was not there. I did not witness it. "he said.
"my pastor says biblically I am not responsible," she said. "I agree. She ran in front of you. There was nothing you could have done. "he said."I keep taking myself that. I still am not sure. "she said.
"Don't let the define you. Don't let this ruin your life, Katie. I know you are going to have to live with it for a long time. it may haunt you your whole life. Have a life. Live..get married, and have a family. Some let this interfere with your life." he said.
"I won't. "she said."take care of yourself. Some ignore the warning signs. Don't try to take this on by yourself ok. "she said."no I won't. "she said.
"you must miss her something awful?" she remarked."I do. she was the only person I never dated before we got married. She did not date anyone before me either. we had our own lives. We did not have. To be in each other a presence all the time but when we came home, it was to each other. We spent time together. We were very much in love. The last few years have been tough. She went through phases. She went through a time when she was doing well. There were times she seemed to be turning the corner. "he said.
"I had a cousin who committed suicide. Her mom and my mom were super close. she was like a sister. She would go through ups and downs."she said.
"how are the girls?" she asked. "I think it's hardest on the case. She is six. She understands it more than the others. she is a daddy's girl but she and lee were very close. Mayce is four. She is so much like leane. She looks like her at her age. Nina is still a baby." he said.

"so, are you seeing anyone?" he asked. "no. Works keep me pretty busy. i have dated in the past. Not of recent." she said
"as I said, live your life. dont use this as an excuse to not. "he said.
After a while, they decided to pack it up. They threw away the trash. They got the kids. They walked to the car. They got the kids inside. "thank you for this. I am so far I go to talk to you." she said. "thank you. I have wanted. To meet you. "he said.
She hugged him. He hugged her back. "I wish you all the best. You are a sweet lady "he said. "thank you. I wish the same for you. I feel the. Same way about you. "she told him.
They said their goodbyes. She watched him leave. She waved. Matt and the girls waved back.
Next up matt contacts Katie again.