I feel like I am in the border of wanting it all and not wanting anything...where everything is essential and none of it has any use? Nothing to bind me... I have no one to hold.this constant struggle...does it mean anything... Progress they say..to do what...to go where ...u are just going to die anyway.. hope the say hope? Hope?? Hope??? I hope for people to be kinder and more loving and giving... other than that It's all a cycle of misery...with no end...my benifit my luxury is at the cost of someone else..is it not?.. maya?? To keep people from seeing the truth? Why ? What is hidden beyond maya?? Can I break free of it...can I let go of my senses... Of emotions..? What would I become if I let go of everything...of all my desires..taste of delicious meals? Music to my ears? Smell of perfumes and decay? Sight of beauty? Emotions...oh there are so many of them...anger, rage, fear, jealousy, love, pity, exhaustion,lust, passion, deception... happiness, calm,...pride...shame...yes shame, one does not have it when born it is given to us by others, the society and it's shame, I wish to get rid of it, for it is shame that has cornered me to this dark place...all the things I am ashamed of I wish I could disrobe myself of this emotion. Whoever is reading this, do forgive me for my thoughts are unprocessed...my mind immature, and my heart a complete mess...and this is how I am venting.

© darkmistress