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My Bestfriend left me 🤷
This is a true story of one of my dearest friends. Hope it finds someone who needs it.
Have you ever felt like you got too used to somebody that when they suddenly leave you feel empty. Everybody would have felt this at some point in time or other. But, after a very long time I felt it again on May 13,2022.
First, let me tell you the last time I felt it before this. It was around 11 years back, the first day of school after summer vacation. I was very excited to meet my friends after a long time. We were a group of four bestfriends – I, Vamsi, Kishore and Abhishek. I met Vamsi and Kishore and we were catching up on what we did during the holidays. We were waiting for Abhi, class started but he’s nowhere to be seen. Initially, we thought since its first day he might have bunked. But, it’s only later that we came to know that he will not be joining us. He took admission in a new corporate school.
And that’s when I felt the void for the first time. Anxiety, panic, sadness, scared, pain – I don’t remember which emotion hit me first. We discussed it for long but convinced each other that it’s for his best and we should feel happy for him.
Fast forward to one year later, same day, same enthusiasm the only difference is that this time Vamsi and Kishore both were absent on the first day. I felt my insides swirling and had this uneasy feeling for the whole day. I couldn’t speak more than two three words the whole day. And the next day, I came to know that they too left the school.
Few days later, Vamsi came to my house cycling all the way from his. I was not at home and so he gave my mom a chit where he wrote his phone number. He told my mom that he’ll be leaving to Hyderabad in 2hrs and wanted to meet me one last time before he left. But both of us were out of luck. We couldn’t meet each other and my mom lost the chit with his phone number. I Searched for it everywhere no use.
Unlike last time, this time it was really deep. And there’s no one left to console me.
After these deep scars, I could never get attached to anybody. And when someone tries to get closer to me, I push them away (not in literal sense). Basically, I couldn’t face it.
But I was fortunate enough to find some people who understood my pain. The more I tried to push them away the harder they stuck to me. They forcibly opened the closed doors of friendship in my life and proclaimed the thrones for themselves.
Finally, after going through all the emotional rides of a teenage life I entered my 20s. Completed my Graduation and joined the Post Graduation. Made some really Good Friends during the course of one year. But there was this one friend who could break all the boundaries I created in my life and became my Bestfriend.
I felt like sharing anything and everything with her. I’m generally very very conscious of my surroundings and who I’m talking to. But with her, it’s completely different. I don’t think at all before speaking. I could talk about anything, bitch about anyone… I felt soo happy.
But, Happiness doesn’t last for long when it comes to me. One question, “Do you like me?” was enough to change the whole dynamics. I just don’t know how to tell her that I LOVE HER as my BESTFRIEND. I tried to explain but she understood it in different way. Now she thinks I LOVE HER as a lover and she doesn’t want to hurt me. So she started doing things that she doesn’t like, just for my sake. I hurt her feelings and I know that. But, when she left without saying Goodbye I couldn't take it and broke down.
I feel the happiest and proudest guy to have such a great bestie. But, let me tell you one thing – I want lots and lots of hugs from you, want to be that one person with whom you want to share and bitch about all your happy and sad moments. And want to spend as much time as we can together before we get busy with our lives and responsibilities. And for God’s sake get this into your dumbass head “I want your Soul not your Body”. Maybe I’m too selfish. But we are DOLTS for a reason. And you can never escape from me.
Love you, Dolt
© MASAR
Have you ever felt like you got too used to somebody that when they suddenly leave you feel empty. Everybody would have felt this at some point in time or other. But, after a very long time I felt it again on May 13,2022.
First, let me tell you the last time I felt it before this. It was around 11 years back, the first day of school after summer vacation. I was very excited to meet my friends after a long time. We were a group of four bestfriends – I, Vamsi, Kishore and Abhishek. I met Vamsi and Kishore and we were catching up on what we did during the holidays. We were waiting for Abhi, class started but he’s nowhere to be seen. Initially, we thought since its first day he might have bunked. But, it’s only later that we came to know that he will not be joining us. He took admission in a new corporate school.
And that’s when I felt the void for the first time. Anxiety, panic, sadness, scared, pain – I don’t remember which emotion hit me first. We discussed it for long but convinced each other that it’s for his best and we should feel happy for him.
Fast forward to one year later, same day, same enthusiasm the only difference is that this time Vamsi and Kishore both were absent on the first day. I felt my insides swirling and had this uneasy feeling for the whole day. I couldn’t speak more than two three words the whole day. And the next day, I came to know that they too left the school.
Few days later, Vamsi came to my house cycling all the way from his. I was not at home and so he gave my mom a chit where he wrote his phone number. He told my mom that he’ll be leaving to Hyderabad in 2hrs and wanted to meet me one last time before he left. But both of us were out of luck. We couldn’t meet each other and my mom lost the chit with his phone number. I Searched for it everywhere no use.
Unlike last time, this time it was really deep. And there’s no one left to console me.
After these deep scars, I could never get attached to anybody. And when someone tries to get closer to me, I push them away (not in literal sense). Basically, I couldn’t face it.
But I was fortunate enough to find some people who understood my pain. The more I tried to push them away the harder they stuck to me. They forcibly opened the closed doors of friendship in my life and proclaimed the thrones for themselves.
Finally, after going through all the emotional rides of a teenage life I entered my 20s. Completed my Graduation and joined the Post Graduation. Made some really Good Friends during the course of one year. But there was this one friend who could break all the boundaries I created in my life and became my Bestfriend.
I felt like sharing anything and everything with her. I’m generally very very conscious of my surroundings and who I’m talking to. But with her, it’s completely different. I don’t think at all before speaking. I could talk about anything, bitch about anyone… I felt soo happy.
But, Happiness doesn’t last for long when it comes to me. One question, “Do you like me?” was enough to change the whole dynamics. I just don’t know how to tell her that I LOVE HER as my BESTFRIEND. I tried to explain but she understood it in different way. Now she thinks I LOVE HER as a lover and she doesn’t want to hurt me. So she started doing things that she doesn’t like, just for my sake. I hurt her feelings and I know that. But, when she left without saying Goodbye I couldn't take it and broke down.
I feel the happiest and proudest guy to have such a great bestie. But, let me tell you one thing – I want lots and lots of hugs from you, want to be that one person with whom you want to share and bitch about all your happy and sad moments. And want to spend as much time as we can together before we get busy with our lives and responsibilities. And for God’s sake get this into your dumbass head “I want your Soul not your Body”. Maybe I’m too selfish. But we are DOLTS for a reason. And you can never escape from me.
Love you, Dolt
© MASAR
