it's a weird situation
I never thought I will share it with someone
This Story is My own Story
what my current situation is going on and what my mental state

it's A weird situation I'm losing myself am being depressed and fighting with my anxiety i can't concentrate on any thing because there are lot of problems going in my life

1] My parents :- My mom and dad constant fight had led very bad impact on me that I don't wanna get married Because of Atmosphere tensed in my house i can't concentrate on studies and my performance is going at worst level and they never observed they blame me for literally everything
they're talking about being SEPARATE
which will hurt me more
raised in middle class family because of my responsibilities i have to give up my dreams
i always want to be an ENTERPRENEUR but My parents have same mindset like many other middle class families that a degree can get my life back to me
they always ask me to focus on studies whenever i Ask them about that I want to be an psychologist and GEO-POLITICAL analyser historian but they never supported me
i can't blame them Coming out of Such poverty and whatever they've faced maybe they think that really degree owned people really live life like a king or emperor

2] i don't get anything in terms of basic physics and basic mathematics i always failed and I'm not getting anything even after paying 100% attention at teacher's teaching but still I'm failing again and again I'm always thinking about what I can do better for my life
much of times I thought that I should leave the house as my parents aren't understanding me but I can't Kill their dreams and i can't step back from my responsibilities
I'm in deep love with my parents they had done lot of things i know on many THINGS we both don't agree each other but it doesn't mean that I Will backlash their dreams
I'm trying hard to get my life back

3] i had lost my contacting speaking skills and that's the worst one my polytechnic college started before 2 weeks and I didn't get anything what teacher had cleared the portion
and I don't have any friends still their
even if people come here to talk with me I feel awkward and that's because in COVID period i lost my speaking skills and that created blunder in my life

4] even After paying much concentration on classes there always my family situation going into my head background which made me uncomfortable and i started crying under desk while lecture and crying in college washroom

5] i was having a friend with me we both had same vibes and we both are best friends from 9 years and we both have Common interest ENTREPRENEURSHIP we want to create an business Empire but we both coming from middle class family our parents are flowing money like water on our education but they won't give them to us for business
he had taken 11th and i had taken polytechnic diploma first year we both are great losers in terms of educational and academic education
we don't understand basic physics and chemistry, mathematics
we both not getting time for seeing each other's
we both have only one person for sharing everything and we lost contact
he's shifting in next 5 month's to new area we won't able to meet each other


5] my mom isn't with me now and I'm missing her a lot she's the greatest supporter of my life she isn't there because of fight with my dad we're not even in contact I'm missing her much i cried in her memory after not seeing her for one day my eyes turned red
sometime I think I should quit life
because I'm losing everything
© -Arihant9021