'tess I promise you that……’

wait! what did he just called me biko?
where did he get that name from?,
I turned red all over from anger. the understanding of why the children books had the devil painted red hits me hard like an erupting volcano. aside the fact he got the names mixed up, well feelings or not I didn’t give him the right to be personal with me, we are not on professional grounds either.
how dare he, mention that name to me, like that!

if wale saw and read my mood, he didn't shy away from the heat of my anger! why would he choose today of all day to test my wrath.

' I read your journal…..you wrote everything aboutTess..... so i assumed that is your name, what is with hating music? and why do you think you are mad? he asked calmly, even though i knew he sensed he was walking on a time bomb.

I sat up shaking oblivious to the effects of his rude provocation, taking back the forgiveness I gave him from before because my greif washed over me anew, the part of my life i was hiding from danced naked before my eyes. why was wale digging up the skeletons from my pain full past. i was overwhelmed with the fact that he knew what he was doing provoking me to remember, what he doesn't know is that i am about to shred him to pieces if he dared the mention of that name again. the forbidden name that no one mentioned in the longest of time.

‘I noticed I really don’t know anything about you, your files not telling me anything, it seems that the peeps here don’t know your name and the ones that know, would not speak, so I did a background check on you, I found nothing but this as after I read your journal'

he was going on and on about this, pushing my limits. i suddenly found that he was spotting for an argument so that i can talk without care and in the process give up all my inner battles, laying my demons on the table. he was hoping to check my revenge. so he knows my name was not Tess. he just wanted a reaction. so i gave him none.

‘get out! I bit out

He stood in the door, and continued as if I hadn’t spoken,

‘come with me, i know that you will be better with me than here’

I got up, glided to him and slowly bitting out
‘who gave you the right to look me up or even ask questions about me, get out now or I’d scream to the camera'

He stepped back, looking bitten but I didn’t care, I wanted him out, now, fast, I wanted this over, as I turned my back to him, he opened the door, I said;

'I'm not TESS don’t call me that again'

the door closed gently behind me and I sank to the floor and started to cry again, wale brings out the weakness in me, I don’t know if he heard me, not that I care, I hate him now, I didn’t want to see him again.

but when i felt him walked to me and lifted me, I froze, I didn’t know if I said the words in my heart out loud, I thought he left, why is he here and was leading me to his side of the table and as he gently pushed into his chair, i asked myself why was this happening,

‘I need you to agree on coming with me willingly or I will force you’ wale stated factually.

I started tapping my foot again because i need to work out all the pressure building in the room, tried as i may, still I don’t seem to understand his mood or the reason he was wanting me to go with him to only God knows where, the miracle is why he believes that i will be fine with him rather than this place, even my own family wrote me off so why he believes he can fix me is a double miracle.

‘ look at me’ he commanded sharply my head immediately snapped at the order, I looked up toward the direction he stood, but didn’t see him clearly, knowing that I was not looking at him, he said the words gently this time, but I refused him and his words, then came an aggressive

‘stop!

‘stop what!

I yelled back in the same pitch. I wonder why his moods were on a moving swing until now,
‘please stop tapping, which time you tap you hurt your bad knee, even though the wound is healed, it ache at night, doesn’t it’

he queried and I nodded still avoiding his eyes.

'I am calling the nurse to check it and you need ice too’

I nodded again, I had stopped tapping even though the urge to tap kept coming to me, to resist it was another.
he kept watching me quietly until when the nurse arrived.

When the nurse came, wale left us, keeping the door ajar just as he was letting me know that our conversation is far from over, I allowed the nurse to do her job, I took my medications too, I had no idea what time it was and I wasn’t going to ask anyways. i chuckled as his words came to me then I started to laugh.
‘I am not leaving with him, I am safe here.'


© RUBEE