There is never words to explain how I feel. It's either I am crushing or completely crushed. It's funny how the only happiness I get is when I see people around smile. When I step out of the house and the kids on the street sing songs that remind me of the good old days or when I hop into a bus and the dude beside me smells like fresh apples. I cherish my moments outside and dread going back home in the evening. The worst part of the day is when I sit on a mat in the evening and try to recall all I did on that day. Sometimes, it's the same as the previous day.
When I lay in bed trying to fall asleep and all the things I regret creep up into the surface. Now, I am fighting to forget what I once pushed into the deepest spot in my mind. The moments I wish I could erase. It's weird how I have this thoughts and no one seems to notice. Sometimes I think they just don't care or maybe the secret is too huge and has now taken over me but no one knows the difference anymore.
Some might say I am depressed but I think I am just human. I am just fighting to stay alive and be happy.
I am broken, not just a little but completely. I am fighting from deep within and I just wish someone would fight for me from the outside.
It's just fiction...
#depression #beHappy #happiness #helpAfriend
© zoza