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Depth of Annoying life
The night is dark, as the body is filled with scars. There are
no one to talk too, I'm desperate to talk with anyone, the word of 1.25 billion population, Isn't there anyone to listen my problem.? And then, mind starts to play a game, the favourite thing of mind to do, that thought "what if"?. I was already burried in my thoughts but then mind starts putting me into coffin. The reason of being doubted or people will make fun of me whenever I step outside. This is where my hell develops into unimaginable scars which never fades.
Here, the game of chess comes into my life, I start to build some strategy to encounter my demon friend, but he always remains one step up. I try this again, I feel like I'm strong, I feel like I'm some warrior who would eventually win. I search on Internet, motivating thoughts that give me some different sense of energy, it's a feeling like I'm alone vs the whole empire, marching towards me to win. After Attempts, I begin to realise, the king who rules always fall one day becoming a prey.
Then, I start running away. The more I run, the more this thoughts come and scare me. mind that made me unique all this years, gave me soo much of happiness, suddenly becomes my worst nightmare, which I wanna forget. After all this , I start praying to the angel who lives above, I request him to please remove this demon from my life,
But sometimes god doesn't listen. I start to pray every minute of my life, realising this is my last chance, the only hope of my freedom.
Ahh, how unique is this, there are always 2 perspective, the one of whom you're inside and the outsiders, I mean your friend, your people. While you hide your scar from people, wishing they dont know . But then you're actually dying from inside. You smile in front of the world, saying you're fine, but you're , afraid of being Judged. While seeing others fine, those who are totally like you starts to hurt you more, you cry more, you take your Frustrations out by beating yourself more.
You realise no one is going to help you.
The stage where you tried everything, but eventually you couldn't win. The end result matters. You think, I'm too bad for this world, it's time to go. It's time to end, I can't take it anymore. You think hours and hours thinking what to do, but your demon thoughts starts to horrify you, and you commit suicide atlast, saying good bye.
© Peter_writes
no one to talk too, I'm desperate to talk with anyone, the word of 1.25 billion population, Isn't there anyone to listen my problem.? And then, mind starts to play a game, the favourite thing of mind to do, that thought "what if"?. I was already burried in my thoughts but then mind starts putting me into coffin. The reason of being doubted or people will make fun of me whenever I step outside. This is where my hell develops into unimaginable scars which never fades.
Here, the game of chess comes into my life, I start to build some strategy to encounter my demon friend, but he always remains one step up. I try this again, I feel like I'm strong, I feel like I'm some warrior who would eventually win. I search on Internet, motivating thoughts that give me some different sense of energy, it's a feeling like I'm alone vs the whole empire, marching towards me to win. After Attempts, I begin to realise, the king who rules always fall one day becoming a prey.
Then, I start running away. The more I run, the more this thoughts come and scare me. mind that made me unique all this years, gave me soo much of happiness, suddenly becomes my worst nightmare, which I wanna forget. After all this , I start praying to the angel who lives above, I request him to please remove this demon from my life,
But sometimes god doesn't listen. I start to pray every minute of my life, realising this is my last chance, the only hope of my freedom.
Ahh, how unique is this, there are always 2 perspective, the one of whom you're inside and the outsiders, I mean your friend, your people. While you hide your scar from people, wishing they dont know . But then you're actually dying from inside. You smile in front of the world, saying you're fine, but you're , afraid of being Judged. While seeing others fine, those who are totally like you starts to hurt you more, you cry more, you take your Frustrations out by beating yourself more.
You realise no one is going to help you.
The stage where you tried everything, but eventually you couldn't win. The end result matters. You think, I'm too bad for this world, it's time to go. It's time to end, I can't take it anymore. You think hours and hours thinking what to do, but your demon thoughts starts to horrify you, and you commit suicide atlast, saying good bye.
© Peter_writes
