Things were going smooth. The word "amigo" did have a special effect on me. As promised, she came to the library. Meeting her everyday after that became a routine. Even as weird as she was, she slowly started making friends and becoming an extrovert, but I stayed the same. I didn't change one bit. Just my same attitude and cold nature.

Its been three months from the day I've met her. After two months, she stopped coming to the library. I've wondered why for a few days, but I gave up after waiting for a week. I've seen her outside with her other friends, even some other guys, so I just left without any word. I still go to the library by myself, plug in my earphones and dive deep into the world the books offer me.

Suddenly one day, she came around the library after college. I was surprised, but I remained cool and greeted her like usual. I saw behind her, only to see all her friends, both guys and girls, follow her to the library. They stayed a few tables away, but kept a close tab on our conversation.

"How come you didn't turn up at the library for a month?" I asked her.

"Well..." it looked as though she was searching for the precise words.

"Busy?" I added.

"Yeah... something like that.." she still seemed unsure.
After a moment of silence, she said:

"Why are you so cold? Why won't you make friends?"

The truth is, I am cold hearted person. I couldn't care less for the ones around me, or even worry about them, but its only to maintain a decent profile that I act like I care. Its this nature of mine that I want to hide so badly, that I want to change so desperate that I became weird. Stuck somewhere between an animal and a human.

"Look, if you're here to try to convince me about making friends, you're just wasting your time. Im not making any friends. Sorry."

"But.... " she tried to say something, but I stood and started to leave the table. That's when her friends stepped and the guys stopped me, and said:

"Where do you think you're going while she's talking? Huh?"
All I had to do was give them a stare. A cold stare. A scary, narrow eyed stare.
So cold, that it scared those guys.

"L-l-look man, we don't mean anything, we were j-j-just taking her side because you were l-l-leaving...."

"Stay out of this. Its my choice. I want to stay alone and cold like this. Leave me be." They tried to leave, but Megha interrupted.

"Its my fault. I acted like I was weird because I wanted become friends with you." A short yet deadly pause.
" Ever since college started, I've been seeing you. You always are alone. You don't care about your classmates. I've seen them shouting you name countless times to call you back because they need you, and you only just walk away like it's none of your business. I wanted to change that. That's why I acted like that. And I also asked these guys to help me change you. I asked them to come one by one to the library so you'd meet them and become friends, but no. You just don't care. So i stopped coming to the library so i can spend some time with them. Ever since i wanted to be friends with you, I haven't spent a good time with them. So I decided to atleast enjoy with the ones I had. Why won't you make friends?"

"Because the last time I called someone my friend, they gave me the worst thing possible in return: betrayal!" These words came out in a higher tone and with a scary look. She took a step back in fear.

"They betrayed me. Framed me for something I didn't do. Made me a fool, an outcast in front of everyone. After that, I've lost everything. My family, my friends, my goals, everything.! DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW MUCH THAT HURTS??!! DO YOU HOW MUCH TIME IT TAKES FOR ME TO STARTING TRUSTING PEOPLE AGAIN??!"
Unknowingly, I had thundered the last two lines. She was in the brink of crying. I fell on my knees.

"Look, i didn't mean to hurt you. Its just my past is so bad, I usually try to avoid any conversations involving that. Sorry I thundered on you." I was praying that she'd forgive me. Deep down, I had accepted her as a friend. Or even something more.

"I've accepted you as my friend. You're the first one. But I want you to be the last. The more I gain. The more I lose and more the pain that I have to bear later." I stopped for her to say something to me.

"I promise I won't ever leave you, Jin. Its my promise to you as your friend." She looked me dead in the eye while saying these words.

"Yeah man, same here. We all want to be your friends. We'll restore the faith that you lost in friendship!!!" All her friends joined in to offer their friendship for me.

"We like you the way you are. Your cold nature is a boon to you. Let me put this way. You're not cold hearted. Youre so kind hearted that you're scared to help people. Because you feel you can't do what actually needs to be done. You are scared of doing bad while intending to do good. That's why you avoid contact. So that you won't have to help. You became cold hearted. But naturally, you're kind and warm hearted." One of the girls from her friends came forward and I recognised this voice.

"Aren't you that girl from ......"

"Yes. You finally recognised me. At the time when Megha and her friends were giving up on you, your help to me restored some hope of changing you in them. So they again tried to convince you, this time, in a direct approach. Also. I wasn't able to thank you the other day... so... Thank you!!!"

With tear filled eyes, she came close and hugged me. Me, who was rock solid till then, loosened my posture but I didn't do anything... I just stood there.

An incident happened a few days ago. This girl, the girl who hugged me, was being harassed by a few men. It was the same day I had seen Megha out with her friends after she stopped coming to the library. I was in a bad mood, knowing the truth, so when I saw her being harassed, I just went over and thrashed those who were harassing her. I probably broke their leaders' arm bone too. My cold hearted nature helped this girl from public embarrassment.

"So you see. You care a lot. Youre just not sure how to help and you fear you'll cause more trouble rather than helping. But if you hadn't done what you did, I wouldn't have been here. Its okay to be weird. That's proof that you're original!!" She said, still keeping me in her tight hug.

"What's your name? I asked her.

"Maya." "And I know who you are. The infamous cold hearted Jin."

I smiled. "Thank you, Maya!" "And you too, Megha!" Uttering those words, my hands slowly returned the hug Maya had me tightly bound in.

"My name is Jennifer." Another girl car forward.

"Im Sebastian!" An exited male voice is heard. Look at that guy and he's tall... I had to lift my head by 45° to look at him.

"I'm Ashok." The other guy joined in.

"Nice to meet you all. But....." I gave a short pause. Its probably time that everyone realised that I was a science student and they weren't...

" I'll tell you my decision tomorrow, whether I want to be your friends or not." I said. But I had already decided two things.

One: my cold nature is my true nature and that I won't hide it.
Two: Im not going to give up the offer of being a friend to such good people.
Three: My cold nature is not actually cold, but my fear of causing trouble while helping.

(I know I wrote three points wcwn after I said I had two decisions. You know the answer: I Am Weird)

But with these people as my friends, I knew I'd come over my fear quickly and become normal again.

"Sure!!" They all agreed to wait for my answer.

Next day. They probably were excited to know what my answer would be, and I only conclude so because they were in the library before me.

"Well, there's a new restaurant that's opened recently in the next lane. Plus, there's also a library I've been wainting to go which is around four streets away from here. Wanna join me???" I asked.

The boys seemed to be confused, but Maya, Megha and Jennifer had understood what I meant. Ashok joined in shortly, but Sebastian didn't understand.

Megha gave him a blow on his head and said : "he said he's gonna be your friend in a really weird way, you big dummy!!!"

"Wait really???!! AWW YEAH!!!" Sebastian was so happy.

After calming down a bit, we all made our way to restaurant and then to the library.

"I guess I found myself some food company!" I muttered to myself, to which Maya added, "Yep you did!!"
She took me by my arm, and started walking arm-in-arm with me, which baffled me at first, but I went along.

By the end of that day, I had a clarity. Maya likes me, and so do I.

© Jeevan