They say imperfection is beautiful, can a ruins still be pretty, despite of its blisters after an attack and a lethal explosion?

Wasn't the destruction is the total death of something? Then why still call it imperfect and yet be found beautiful?

Was it really pleasing to look at a broken thing?

The darkness of the skin from the senescence is scary right? Spooky things gives horror to almost everyone.

If a beauty once upon a time fades, will it be loved by its imperfection, darkness and brokenness?

“You know what, he is living in our village, he can be a good friend, and he is your schoolmate.” the gladness of my fathers’ voice was just too positive that it even dazzled the just turned five-year old me that time.

“Oh. They’re they are. Hello Atacia, it’s good to see you.” my father was even joyful when his so-talked people came in the mansion.

They greeted each other, then father came over with smiles to introduce the new came visitors.

“This is Alney, Hope. Alney this is my pretty princess, Hollice Penelope.”

“Hi. Happy birthday.” a skinny and tall kid waved delightfully, the five year old me just smiled curtly as I saw his crooked teeth, I blinked when the frame of his spectacles flashed a sheen from the chandeliers light in the mansion's receiving area.

“I can hold the bike while paddling it you know, so you won’t fall again.” the six year old me scoffed when Alney put the band-aid on my scratched right calf.

I was so eager to learn paddling, but when couldn’t balance well, that’s why I fell together with the bike.

“I can do it. You can just wait there.” I pointed the pine trees, few meters from where we are. He just nods and smile, I don’t like seeing his crooked fangs and two crooked teeth under it too. But I like him smiling.

Alney’s a good kid that he’d rather settle on a corner and let the others bully him than defend his self, so I always do that it him, I defended him, instead. Because no one should bully him, but me…

“Why did you used it when you know it’s your first time?” the nine-year old me is biting the lips for repent as the tears is almost falling. It was the biggest graze I ever had. I got it when I was practicing alone with the skateboard, sneaking it from my brother, that’s why I was in so much reverie, never noticing that it was more complicated than learning bicycle.

He cleaned my toes with a water from the tumbler he was holding and put some med on it.

And that made him brought medicine kit every weekends when we go out for my whims and he’d always sit on a pavement and watches me all the time. He was just there on the other side, like a bodyguard and a personal physician.

“Aw!” I pushed him a bit, when he took my right arm to bring me in a shedded part so I’d avoid the sunrays.

“Why?” he looks concern now.

“I was learning kick boxing. So my brother gave me drills yesterday on how to strengthen my ahhm...” I shared him with my total happy face.

“To strengthen your muscles.” he completed it and I nodded several times.

“But when I woke up this morning, my body is aching, look at my arms, there were no bruises but it feels like swelling.”

“You strained your muscles, Hope. ‘What part was painful?”

I pouted. “My thighs too.”

“Wait here..” then he runs... back to their house, he came back again panting, as he sat beside me taking the tape out.

“I think I know what you will become when you grow up” I raised my brows while grinning.

“Your personal physician?”

“Yes! But not just my doctor. You are a good doctor.” I was sure of it. He is a good person.

“You will become a good doctor, a hero, a savior, you can save kids and give them brighter future.” I said dreamily.

“Really?” he smiled again, liking all my dreams for him.

“Yes! See, you always saved me, you gave me so much bright future. In the future too, when you become a doctor, you’ll save a lot of girls.” I giggled. “Well not just girls, but men too and old people, you’ll be a hero.” he scraped his head using his fingers. Getting annoyed-or what.

Yeah, I was very aware how good he is, he always do greater things for me, but the saddest and one of the poorest quality of a humans' nature, was… when you were so used from the good deeds, you find those things small through time, until you refuse to notice it, until you find it repetitive and annoying anymore, until you stop appreciating it.

That’s what happened when I turned fourteen years old. His kept band-aid in his pocket, his kiniesio tapes and muscle tapes and the medical kit has turned into an annoyance for me, it seems like an insult to me anymore.

I started feeling so strange, I find it weird why he remains my friend alone and likewise, we forgot to find another friends other than us. And all that strange things I felt, is just aggravating.

Strange things I could not fathom, so I take that as what they call ‘maturity’. I think I matured, that my likes before wasn’t the same right now.

And there's this only one boy who can put up with all my skimming and hellion, the boy that cannot be moved by my rascal attitude, who would only smile everytime I throw madcaps.

“You have to make friends your age or older than you, stop being stuck with me.”

“Okay, Are you going home?” his sad smile plainly walked out in a split second. He's not gonna welcome my bratty attitude, he'll just smile, what's wrong with this nerd?

“And one more thing, we are not going to talk ever again, remember, we are not friends anymore, so specifically we are strangers.” yes, this is me, it's my attitude, I like pushing him, and when he is gone, I’d look for him.

This is me, a girl with no words to keep at all.

I must have been vocal of hating him, but deep inside, I felt so soft that I wanna chase him and just simply tell him my apologies, but being me, it's not gonna work that way.

He's a typical nerd boy, with those thick reading glasses, braces and his long and skinny body best defines the word 'Geek'.

He's not friendly but he loves smiling, though it gives a total creep especially when he still has his crooked teeth, is a wonder to me... what changes my opinion about his smiles, that it suddenly changes into something pure, beautiful and mesmerizing…

Maybe I grow up and I might have appreciated his changes physically which I don't... when we're younger, now I suddenly like his smiles, and for me it's the strangest thing I'd like to believe.

Learning the definition of the word ‘cute’ years back best define his smiles. When I’m alone and when his beautiful face pops up, I find myself crazily well, normally smiling, yeah, smiling is normal for me, not special at all.

I remembered the attention I offered when found out that he is afraid to go to the dentist when his crooked teeth had to be braced is purely a support from a friend who needs it, he is coward!

I don’t like him, he’s got a lot f things I hated, yet, I was there when he had his braces, cheering up for a scared little boy, when he had his first science experiment in our school which bores me but I was there clapping like a proud best-friend.

I was there when he was bullied for being him so paled- too girly for a boy and that his tallness has no use to protect him, so I did it on his behalf, a coward indeed! I was in the burial when he is so low at the corner, when his Air vice-marshal pilot father died from a plane crash from escorting a VIP operation.

I might have hated being in his activities and likes but... I like him as a person. I was always there even if I didn't really want to.

He was there with me when I have scarces of cuts and gashes from a fall and hit in a bicycle, skateboard, and even in kick boxing and when my brother wasn't there, he'd always replace and add extra more care on attending me.

I was fourteen when I decided to layover what's with us, and found acquaintances to talk to.

He did not talk to me ever again, everytime we saw each other in the hallway of our school, in the pathway or even in the garden, he'd always go the other way, even in the village.

“Were you guys fought?” my brother asked.

“Nope.” I uttered with finality.

“Brat, you must have pulled the fret.”

“I’m not and I didn’t!”

“You can practice driving this summer, focus on your last quarter, you want me to invite Alney?”

“Don't. He's as boring as an old rock, so dull, he does not even want to hurt himself, so gay. He should be swallowed by his books, tss., bookworm.”

“What did he do this time? Hmm... Le'me guess, he brought a med kit and followed what I told him to keep an eye on you and never allow you to drive alone while I’m away...” I rolled my eyes because it was true.


“He's annoying, an eyesore, I want to live my life without him as my friend .. fake… ish...”

“That would really hurt him, if he hears you...”

Indeed… it really did, but in the other way around, it was the first time I spent my summer after ten years without him.

That entire year, comes my appreciation of his friendship burgeon in me, witnessing how he distant himself on me, how he avoided me without failing what I demanded, it was a slap of insanity.

I was responsible about it, then I must be happy for it right? Honestly, I started anticipating for something, his over-the-hill attentiveness of me. I hate to admit but I missed him, but I will only keep that in myself, I’d die first before I tell anyone, how much I missed that nerd boy.

“Still in bad terms with Alney huh?” my brother asked once again.

“I don't wanna be his friend anymore, you know what kuya he's a laughing stock in our school, he’s so tall but then he keeps letting the bullies bully him.” I didn’t answer his question, I ranted instead.

Honestly, I forced myself to stop from paying attention on his coldness, I am not even sure if he was still bullied or what, and I don't wanna beat anything up, anymore. I will just missed him more.

“He is just being a good kid Hope, I think he is the best choice for a friend.” Father gazed at me using the rearview mirror.

“And you grow up together…” my brother added.

“I don’t want a consistent weak friend. Too weak! He is a candidate of.my misfortune...” I crossed my arms with so much irritation.

“So, you want a perfect friend h'm?” my brother’s not done with his sentiments.

“You want someone that isn't a bookworm, isn't bullied, neither a silent-type, you are not going to make him a boyfriend Hope, just a friend…”

“I can find a friend, and that's definitely not Alney.”I said dodging more dramas.

“Perfect is boring Hope...” he smiled.

For me I find my brother perfect physically, mentally and even spiritually, well, minus the mock when I talked ill about Alney, he likes pushing me to Alney but he doesn't like me to befriend his friends. If there is a 'but' after you say ‘perfect’ does it mean it was not? So, my brother is not? But for me, he is.

“Perfect is perfect brother.” I raised my brows as I pout.

“Perfect won't show you beauty, beauty can only be found when there are flaws.”

I frowned. “Flaws is defection, it’s imperfect, it’s not beautiful.” I stood on my argument.

“If it's perfect, you'll not see edges, coz it’s already perfect. You can’t find reasons to look for interesting things, because there ain't no more flaws at all, and if it last longer, you'll find yourself looking for something rather than perfection, and there's no such thing as perfection, my dear sister. Perfection is a hoax, just a myth... be careful with that, no one's perfect if you think they are, think twice.”

“Person with flaws deserves the best prudent…” my father joins the exchanged words.

Perfect is boring? I was young then when I heard that from my brother and the broad definition of those words did not sink in to me, so how will I know that it's boring if it's already perfect?

Perfection attracts, people strive hard to reach that level, so whoever close to that perfectness is surely happy, that's what I know, that's what I’d like to feed my mind, cause that's what I thought.

Some people changed their appearances, some done under the knives, some pretends to be someone, some wanted to be praised and raised like a god, some beavering away to their old self to achieve perfection.

“You know when it's defective? It is when you saw a lot of wanders when you look deeper to fix it… and you learned something new, then again when you dive more, you’ll see another wander and learn more, Try it. For me that's greater than perfection… Hope.”

My brother was fixing his car, still not aware if he was pertaining to his car or it is a paradox of the belief I am living, that perfect is perfect and it's not boring.

I did not know that those words were alive to teach me through time, philosophers die but their words remain, Alexander the great died but his influence stays, it will scatter and flows forever. But as a girl who has a name of a Villazar is perfect alone, my life, my family, it is already perfect. So I don’t think I can relate to my brothers belief.

“Congratulations Alney, I know you'd be on top...” I heard that congratulatory several time today.

Years been so fast huh? He was once that unpopular bullied kid.

“Hope...” I reminded myself to act normal as I turned to face the person who owns that baritone voice.

His voice changed, he's gone taller, gone the skinny boy, he has volume now but not big and bulky, just enough for him to look hotter for my own definition of ‘hot’, then he passed.

Gone is the pale skin, he is still in creamy looking but a bit beige fair skin color, he's with his glasses but with a modern frame that made him look like he's just styling up, he still had his braces but that made him look hotter.

“What?” first word after two years huh?

“Aren't you going to congratulate me?” he said hapilly.

“C-congratulations...” I need to back down, I need to go, I couldn’t take his power of transforming and I couldn’t absorb it without wobbling.

“Hope!” he called my name but I run as fast as I can.

I was young then, I took everything for granted, I’m still young till now but I let chances pass by.

It was crystal clear, I’m the perfect one while he is the flawed one, I was wrong in that part…

I thought I was perfect alone with a complete family, luxury that few can afford and money can buy anything.
There are priceless things, including respect and love.

I wasn’t able to have a grasp of the perfections in a very long time, the time played with me and took everything that I possess.

I have nothing now but regrets.

#Teendrama #Regrets #Perfection #Imperfection