I moved in with Dan 2 weeks later. I had a job and stayed clean just long enough to get my father to sign over the forrunner for the cash I came up with. Suprislingly, my new place was really clean. Dan may have been an addict , but he was still a Marine. Everything had its place. His bed made just as welk as it's supposed to be in boot camp. I on the other hand had barley any trace of the Corps in me except my hair cut. High and tight fit me well. Making my bed? Not if I don't have to. Being an outstanding citizen? I had integrity left so as ling as I put on a good public face ; I was ok with the scumbag I had become. I almost fully accepted it until I met others that were far off and gone. I wasn't there yet. I said yet. My Obama phone went off with a text. It was Tony and he needed a ride. Im not gonna lie I thought about killing him for a minute or two. He needed someone to drive him around so he could make his deliveries. He offered fifty dollars for two hours. One hundred if we went over three. That was it. That was the chance I needed. Let him do his business and make his money. Get him good and vulnerable then strike. Pull over and get him to check my tire out with me, then hit him in the head with jack till I seen bone marrow. In stead I drove him around and lisyen to him rattle off one bullshit story after another. I watched him as he schmoozed all his clients. They were from all parts of our world. His business knew no predjudice. We hit the three hour mark. Tony busted out a hundred and a fifty dollar bill. " I still have 4 more stops to make, you up for it kid? I wanted to slap the shit out of him. Instead I sold my soul as usual. Putting more miles on the already over 100,000 mile forrunner. He even bought me a tank of gas. I just had to live with myself after hospitality like that. Tony talked about himself alot. All of a sudden he started asking me questions. The usual. How did you start getting high. Do you mind if I get high while you drive. He said I gave him a sense of security. Like I would watch his back. Well, he might have been fucking with me. He was a master of physiology. Now I enjoy a good intellectual conversation mixed in with my grime ans puddles of blood and shit. Addicts are some of the brightest people I have ever met. Two or more people stuck in the same shitty situation can turn into a long drawn out talk about how they both thought there was a huge conspiracy around the Tesla death. It jsut makes logical sense when your drooling on your self; to think, yup he was murdered. Why was all his work he had with him ( while I'm choping up a line if what ever) were confiscated by an unknown authority. How the Iphone was invented and that facebook was purposley invented to track almost anyone with a phone. That's the shit you think about when you are high and it's three am. Books about physics and philosophy. Socialism and socioeconomics. Scientology vs Judisim. Is God real and does he hate us ; or simpley just made a decision to abondon us. Real deep shit. It never fails. More than I would like it , would be with a complete stranger. There I would be all gacked out on meth or nodding off, all while contemplating the mysteries of the universe. It never fucking failed. I could be a silent room full of addicts one minute, then next Some one wants to know what I think of Henry Rollins spoken word. I swear sometimes addicts use to cover up super powers cause that's exactly what I was thinking about. Shit like that. It would bother me for the first five minutes or so. They the conversation would switch gears and go back and forth. Give and take. Vibing. Caught up in our own little lies and webs of deception, mixed with agonizing truth. Some one will always ask if I have ever been clean. When I answer honestly, they always want to know what its like. I would like to imagine that I sold them on recovery. That I would never see them again after our stint together; and that they would be there at the next meeting I decided to go to. Welcoming and thanking me for encouraging them. Im full of shit I never wanted any recognition. I prefer people not to bring my name into a conversatio having to do qith any type of illegal activity. That's how you stay out of prisons. But, that is how Dan and I came up with the concept of RIDEZ4U.
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