‘Don’t Stay late’, ‘come home as soon as the sun sets’ these statements are often heard by girls.
Parents restrict their daughters to stay indoors after sunsets. I have also faced this from a very early age but that doesn’t apply in my brother’s case. From childhood whenever I used to step out of the house alone my family members start saying ‘take bhaiya or someone with you’ and it is continuing till today.It used to annoy me a lot. One day I asked my mother ‘why you don’t restrict bhaiya to stay indoors after evening?’

My mother replied with helplessness in her eyes ‘beta because this world is not simple, it is full of evil people,we don’t allow it does not mean we don’t want you to be free rather we are concerned about your safety.We can control our actions, we can’t control the world, so that’s why not to risk your safety we do this'.

That time I didn’t understand her.

When I grew up and went to the hostel for higher studies in Bhubaneswar, there also we were instructed to be in the hostel before 7pm, whereas there was no such restriction for boys. Initially, I was very much hurt by this difference. I wanted to break the rules and enjoy the nightlife, but gradually understood the real reason behind these restrictions. After NIRBHAYA’s case, I realised what used to concern my parents. ‘what was Nirbhaya’fault?’ this question keeps on going in my mind.After years-long of independence ‘Nirbhaya’ was not free to go for a movie. It is heart-wrenching.

After college when I went to Kolkata for the job and started staying with my friends.
When I used to see my brothers, male friends going for a late-night drive, movies partying without any fear my heart longs for that. I wanted to go on a long walk or long drive alone or with my girl gang at midnight and enjoy the cool breeze. I always wanted to enjoy the beauty of nature at night. I had seen a sleeping city in movies only, and was fascinated by it and wanted to explore.I wanted to go for girls night out. But these things had always been a dream.To be honest, I too don’t feel safe outside after sunsets. This fear is ingrained in my mind because like most of the girls, I have also been a victim of eve-teasing, ogling in my life. So I don’t prefer to stay outdoors late at night. Whenever I used to stay late at work in the night,an unknown fear rush down through my nerves and I race against time to reach home. All the negative thoughts and news (about rape, murder, etc) starts reverberating in my mind and I find peace at my place. Whenever I and my friends wanted to go for a late-night movie or party after office presence of male friends was mandatory,whether they (male friends) like it or not.

I feel very dependent on them because we used to drop the plan if our male friends are not able to accompany us. I used to feel sorry for being a girl.

I want the freedom to walk alone on the streets without any fear in the night. I want to free myself from an unknown fear. I want to embrace the beauty of the city at night. I want to enjoy life as per my choice. I want to fly. I am hoping that in future my dreams will be fulfilled.



Disclaimer:    The opinions expressed in this post are the personal views of the author.


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© Shwetasingh29