I sat down on the wooden bench as usual. My eyes searched for someone, my brain wondered away, my love longed to meet someone and my heart ached. No one came. I waited for more than an hour which seemed to take an eternity. I dropped the flowers that I carried along with me at the same place; over a heap of rotten flowers. I turned and gave a final glance; with a deep longing inside, I wished as always to see my 'best friend', 'my love ' to come with the same pleasant smile and same care. The air is still, nothing in the vicinity moved or stirred; it was like always-drab and gloomy like my life. But I know, my love will not come, as he has gone far away from me. But I am happy too that he is achieving his dreams which I always wished for him.

I walked back to my room and opened my diary. I began writing, the last letter addressing to him before leaving this land. My diary the only thing or my companion that I hold it dear to my empty heart.

"I feel the only reason everyone hold on to memories so tightly is because memories are the only things that never leave when everything else does. "

I was lost in my chain of thoughts again. My heart echoed with the laughs that once filled my life when my love was there with me, when there was happiness all the time. What an irony! When everything is fine it is so special and so filling.

I am missing him; missing everything with him, but all I have now is a bunch of memories that are carved in my heart and mind along with some undelivered letters written to him... Thank God at least I have them.

I started writing ;what I wrote every time.

Dear Arav,

For the past few months, I kept myself busy to forget the pain I felt deep within me. It has been 2 years now that I last saw you. Here, I was still hoping that someday you would accept my love. How can my love end when I know that it feels so right? What did I do?

I remember the day we met. We talked for hours on end. About everything. I just could not seem to get enough. We met on the Internet and ended on the Internet. Everyday, I would look and see if you were there online. If you did not show up, I would leave. Not come back until both of us was there.

You are just an amazing and charming person. Always know what to say and how to say it. I never wanted for anything with you. You always listened and understood. You would be there with me and never walk away. Even if I was sick, there you was. You are the most stunning guy in the world.

I should not leave you and go. It is the biggest mistake I ever did. I love you so much that it hurts to feel that I have started loving you more and more. What is wrong with loving too much? It is simple. I forget myself and even the things that make me happy.

I am so lucky because I met a person who showed me selfless and unconditional care as a friend. However, as the days, months and years that we were together, I feel emptiness now.

I started to ignore your calls, did not reply on your messages. I pushed you away. I choose to leave you not because I do not love you anymore but because I want you to find your happiness, to fulfill your aim. So, I make my decision even if it means death to me. I am so sorry but I need to go.

Now I know I am too late. Too late to change everything. Too late to show how much you mean to me. Too late to say I love, for once. Too late to hope that in the end we could be together. Too late has been to late.... After all.

I love you. My one and only true love.

Rhea.

I closed the diary and kept it aside. Getting up from the desk, hiding a few wisps of my hair behind my ears.

The wind outside was harsh and cold. It was trying to blow away the unwilling string of water droplets dropping from the railing. I ran my finger through the tiny droplets clinging to the cold iron railing. I collected it in my palm. They felt cold, almost as cold as my heart felt.

The rain was becoming restless. It was always used to wiping my tears and gets my sunshine smile back. But today I wasn't crying. Not even a single tear. The rain was confused; it didn't know how to soothe me. It just wished I would cry. Once.

But I didn't.

I could hear the rain vociferously lashing against the glass window. Even if it was dark outside by now, I could make out. As if it was angry on me for blocking it outside. It wanted to come inside and talk with me, soothe me. Perhaps the rain was the only faithful companion who couldn't leave me in this state.

I sat on the bed holding a small wooden heart. On it was written - "Till the time we are together, everything will fall in place". Arav had thrust it in my hands just before I kissed him good bye at the last time I met. I felt each word with my fingers. They still felt so believable.

I walked over to the bed. I placed it carefully on the bedside table. The golden heart shimmered in the faint light of the room. I looked at it and sighed. Perhaps for the first time.

I took the glass from the table. All the nineteen tablets had uniformly dissolved leaving behind clear looking water.

I drank my new elixir. The rain protested helplessly outside my window.

I switched off the lights and sank inside the warmth of the soft quilt. The sound of the rain went into oblivion and one by one I started remembering what happened exactly five years ago;like it'd happened yesterday.

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