My final year in highschool still no friends.Why would I even have one and am always by myself moving in groups with other girls ain't my thing.I don't do what other people are doing I like bieng different.I enjoy boys company plus I am tomboy I preferred bieng around boys than girls.So this girl came to me and asked why I liked bieng alone what reason would I give I am introvert by nature.She became my friend,I was good in maths she took advantage of that and I would teach her maths every night in the dormitory after the night preps and make stories on Saturday and Sunday nights.Atleast I was happy I had a female friend.Things changed when she started having feelings for me.She didn't tell me right away she had me make guesses of what she wanted to say to me.So I thought," does she have feelings for me?"No it can't be what am I even thinking infact we were in a Christian school.During one of the English classes she passed a note in it she said she's been having feelings for me and that she can't help it each time I was close to her when I taught her maths.I was confused.I felt a spark.How on earth would a girl love another girl.I thought it only existed in movies and it can't happen to me.Oh dear God what had I brought upon myself.This can't be.But she had a boyfriend why would she love me.I don't know.She came to my bed on a Friday night we made stories and she was touching me I ignored it. As soon as the lights were off she put her hand inside my vest and move it up to feel my boobs.I felt it again,the spark I laid there still she turned to see how I would react I didn't say anything so she left for her bed.I couldn't sleep the whole night I was thinking of what had just happened.I put my hand down inside my pant,I was wet.I was confused even more.Of course I am a big girl that should surprise me but this is a girl making another girl wet.Where did she even get the courage to touch me.When we closed school for holidays she texted saying she has always wanted to make out with a girl I felt it.I was going crazy was I having feelings for her?Why would I get a spark when she spoke.I googled it up"How to know if you are a lesbian"I had almost all the traits they were giving but no I didn't want it to be true.When we went back to school she would talk to me and I kept looking at her lips I wanted to kiss her.What is happening what is all this.I finally gave up the resistance I couldn't do it anymore we made out not once not twice.That was my first time with anyone.I was having feelings for girls now,yes I am a lesbian just have to be careful for anyone not to find out that would be an immediate expulsion from school.But now my grades were going down this girl was making me crazy.I was just a toy to her she had a boyfriend am just her pet for her sexual desires who can I talk to.Teachers were already complaining and wanted to know why I was failing.I have to talk to someone we were nearly coming to the end of the year and exams were approaching I can't afford to fail I have to go to the university.I talked to this boy he was my friend so each time that girl would come close to me in class he would come and find a way to get her away from me.I had feelings for this girl what do I do about that I didn't tell him that ,I kept it to myself.We were done with highschool we had to go separate ways this girl told me to forget about her I was hurt but what do I do.The results came out I had passed I would get a chance in the university atleast I was happy,I'd forget her with time and focus on myself and school.What a dramatic way to end highschool.
© Grace kaj