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Confused and Troubled along my way
#MothersDayStory
The time had come to start my journey. I leaned out of the window, waving as long as I could while she disappeared into the distance. Where am I going? I'm never quite sure. I hope she knows I love her. Sometimes life gets so chaotic. I swear my mom thinks she can save the world. Why can't she help me? She just can't seem to get me.
Okay, so I didn't wave. I left in a cop car. Do u know how hard it is to be grown? I'm not ready. Who says we have to be grown at 18? I want to do the right thing. Most of the time, I think, I was right. What do I know?
Graduating was so easy. School was the hard one. I really just don't socialize that well. The people crowd me. They like to ask questions. Somehow they think they can heal me. What's even wrong anyway? It's hard to breathe. Please just don't talk about me and give me some space.
Is it hard to believe that conformity is hard? Your not me. I'm not perfect. I don't want to be. I just want people to quit hurting me. She loves me. How can she not? I really am amazing. I'm just not like you or Mom. Do I have to be? Can I just control my violent urges? I have good cause.
Yes, I said violent urges. I was extremely over stimulated. Sorry. Truly it kills me to hurt anyone. I would rather hurt myself. You are all free to be you. Stop trying to control me. Mom claims to love me. I know she does. She loves everyone. I am her baby.
Sometimes I just can't handle this world. I can't help all these people. I'm not even sure about me. Does any person even understand? Don't feel bad. Most of the time, I give up trying to be heard. It's better this way. Days will go by, and I won't even say a word. Is anyone really ever heard?
People say actions speak so loud. Well please tell me what mine say! Please. I'm not sure I understand. I try so hard to just be passive. Then there it is... All the action you want to see. Speaking so loud, and speaking so out of control. Physically speaking you right to the floor. Did I really just do this?
Look Mom, I really do LOVE you. I truly do love you. The colors all change and my mind turns to fog. Please forgive me... I utter from the mind. In the back of this car I sit. Not one single sound. I just cannot say it. Can't explain how or why. I don't fully understand it. You love me I know. It's hard for me. Please don't ever let go.
The time had come to start my journey. I leaned out of the window, waving as long as I could while she disappeared into the distance. Where am I going? I'm never quite sure. I hope she knows I love her. Sometimes life gets so chaotic. I swear my mom thinks she can save the world. Why can't she help me? She just can't seem to get me.
Okay, so I didn't wave. I left in a cop car. Do u know how hard it is to be grown? I'm not ready. Who says we have to be grown at 18? I want to do the right thing. Most of the time, I think, I was right. What do I know?
Graduating was so easy. School was the hard one. I really just don't socialize that well. The people crowd me. They like to ask questions. Somehow they think they can heal me. What's even wrong anyway? It's hard to breathe. Please just don't talk about me and give me some space.
Is it hard to believe that conformity is hard? Your not me. I'm not perfect. I don't want to be. I just want people to quit hurting me. She loves me. How can she not? I really am amazing. I'm just not like you or Mom. Do I have to be? Can I just control my violent urges? I have good cause.
Yes, I said violent urges. I was extremely over stimulated. Sorry. Truly it kills me to hurt anyone. I would rather hurt myself. You are all free to be you. Stop trying to control me. Mom claims to love me. I know she does. She loves everyone. I am her baby.
Sometimes I just can't handle this world. I can't help all these people. I'm not even sure about me. Does any person even understand? Don't feel bad. Most of the time, I give up trying to be heard. It's better this way. Days will go by, and I won't even say a word. Is anyone really ever heard?
People say actions speak so loud. Well please tell me what mine say! Please. I'm not sure I understand. I try so hard to just be passive. Then there it is... All the action you want to see. Speaking so loud, and speaking so out of control. Physically speaking you right to the floor. Did I really just do this?
Look Mom, I really do LOVE you. I truly do love you. The colors all change and my mind turns to fog. Please forgive me... I utter from the mind. In the back of this car I sit. Not one single sound. I just cannot say it. Can't explain how or why. I don't fully understand it. You love me I know. It's hard for me. Please don't ever let go.
