When your a little girl playing dress up princess with your friends, you have all these wild dreams going thru your head of being an Astronaut, Dr, Nurse, Model but I never had those aspirations when I was little, I had told my Mom I was going to Marry someone in the Mafia, then I told her I was gonna have an affair on my husband and see how long it took him to figure it out. Well luckily I did not do either one I was your normal house mom who worked third shift had 4 great kids and I thought a husband who adored me. Until all his affairs started 6 years after the last affair I was still empty, hollow, hated him, I should have gotten a divorce but I felt fat, ugly and stuck of course at the time I weighed 220 lbs, all I kept thinking was who would want a fatass like me with 4 kids. Then I started this New Job and it gave me back the confidence I had been lacking, I was active and my teeth got fixed, I was down to 130 it was the first time since I was 16 that guys were looking at me again. Thats when Mr. Handsome came walking into my life literally he was Maintanance and he was fixing one of my machines, all I noticed were these Sexy Green Eyes, after that we started eatting lunch together and it was about 3 weeks we got out of work and raced back to his house he hadvtold me his address my Bestfriend had grown up next to the house he bought, we ran into his house, started unbuttoning each others shirts, pants, kissing, we were in his bed, kissing each others necks, hands fondling each others wet and hard areas. Then everyday after thats what we did the connection, passion, I had never felt this way at all but him and I did very very good at playing emotionless, aloof and heartless. See I had told my husband I wanted a divorce and I didnt know he had a baby mama moving in, in like 10 months he didnt tell me anything until after we both had told each other we loved each other, so I was devastated to find out about her. I wasnt jealous she wasnt pretty and she was pretty plump, so at first it was ok. I mean to me they werent married, and he didnt plan on marrying her at all, him and I worked third shift and she worked 1st shift, so during the day we spent from 8am-4pm together, giving each other body massages with warm coconut oil in front of the fireplace, taking showers together, or bubble baths together, we did this for 6 years until he married her then she made him go to 1st shift. I didn't walk away until recently until I realized there was " No Prize" to be won I mean he thought he was the prize, I finally realized he was probably doing to me what he had been doing to her and I felt like an idiot. A very hard lesson was learned Im no longer a Mistress, I don't do hard drugs anymore even doing Meth for 8 months has not defined me as an addict noone even knows unless I tell my story. We all have choices, options, paths to follow, but its when you walk that moment you say Enough is Enough, Im not A Choice, Option or Convience, Im a Beautiful Person who deserves as much love as anyone, thats when you feel the shift of your Power coming back. You always hear about these horrible homewreckers well we all live behind closed doors and people wear many masks how do you know that spouse isn't deserving of whats going on behind their back because I don't feel bad for her not one bit, shes cold, rigid, controlling and a drunk, I stayed so long because I worried about the kids, and animals so the next time you hear about the " Home Wrecking Whore" think twice cuz she might have a heart of gold and got stuck, felt frozen in place. This is just part of my story theres so much more to me than just being the Secret.
© Tennille Dragan " Not The Captain"