Some dreams are meant to come true. But who made this a true valid point? Is this written in stone, is it someway a part of the biblical ten commandments? Now what do you do when your nightmare comes true? And that happens more often than a dream coming true. Run the opposite way or face your fears? Running away will not help at all because then you will never know what the result could have been. The option of facing your fears is a fear within itself. Another unknown conclusion. I would not choose either, but then where would I end up, in a insane asylum, wrapped up in a stray jacket, hiding my medicine under my tongue.

Dreams are your vision, your wants, your needs. I heard if you think hard about a subject before you close your eyes, you will dream about it. I try that every night and have for years. For over ten years i stayed up daydreaming and dreaming in my sleep of a baby boy so beautiful, smart, and respectful whom i would have the honor of calling my child. guess what that dream has come true, he is just what i dreamed of. I stay up and reminisce about my deceased brother, wishing he was here to just talk to me one more time, hug me, and tell me everything will be OK even if it will not be. I know he is not coming back though and in a sense that becomes a nightmare for me. My nightmares are the demons that haunt me, the terrors I suffer, my past that eats me alive. My nightmares are the rapes I have endured, the verbal, emotional, mental, and physical abuse I had to take. My nightmares are me being a surviving victim of pain and treachery. I hate the word nightmare, it is evil. I have had nightmares of things that has not happened to me and because of the things that has, I will fight to my death to make sure those do not come true. However, there are some that has snuck through the cracks and came true or one day will be true.The pain I endure when I give myself wholeheartedly to someone and they hurt me. The pain of knowing one day my mother will no longer be here. The nightmare of me being lonely the rest of my life, never finding happiness or love. Those are nightmares that does come true and I can not stop them because after a nightmare with eyes closed they become racing thoughts while my eyes are open and I am concious, and my heart tends to feel like it is about to explode. Then there I am in that jacket, with the padded walls, a teddy bear, and mumbling a bunch of nothings to myself. I can not let them, the ones we call nightmares, defeat me.

If I stay like a courageous soldier and fight my fears, will my life change for the better. No one ever asks me my fears though so I will run away because I am good at that and being unseen....
© Beautiiful Disaster