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Different Worlds- part 1
The mind is an amazing thing. My mind tried to protect me. I still can't remember details of the abuse, I can only remember things up to the point where he finds me. I'm hiding in a closet & hear footsteps getting closer but as soon as he finds me my flashbacks or nightmares end.
I was molested from about 4 years of age until 12 years old. In 2nd grade I told a teacher (not in detail) and she spoke with my mother. My perp was my mom's sister's husband. Mom spoke with him. He never denied "touching" me but instead said that I was "taking things the wrong way". My mother wasn't sure what to believe but she knew it made me uncomfortable and banned him from coming over. From 8-9yrs of age he wasn't a part of my life. Unfortunately my grandmother didn't understand the situation and was close to him. Mom didn't want to contradict her mother in-law so at about age 9 1/2 he came back into my life. The abuse worsened. My mind couldn't cope & went elsewhere. While the abuse was going on another version of myself endured all the pain. I still remembered all the pain I'd endured from 4-7 years old. This 9 yr. old personality created a 7 yr. old personality who'd be designated those memories. As I grew older, the 7&9 yr. old personalities remained 7&9.
At age 13 I had my first menstrual cycle & became a "woman". Couple regular changes a child experiences at this age with everything occuring & I snapped. I ended up in my first Psychiatrist Ward. Here I shared years of abuse. Criminal charges were filed. My 2 cousins and I made statements against him. However, when my cousins were questioned by a Social worker about the abuse they denied it & defended their father. My aunt's husband's lawyer sent a letter stating "2 of the 3 girls accusing my client recanted & the remaining is in a mental hospital, making her word not credible". At this point I became very bitter and depressed. My brain did what it had learned to do when I couldn't cope- split. I created 13 yr. old personality.
I was molested from about 4 years of age until 12 years old. In 2nd grade I told a teacher (not in detail) and she spoke with my mother. My perp was my mom's sister's husband. Mom spoke with him. He never denied "touching" me but instead said that I was "taking things the wrong way". My mother wasn't sure what to believe but she knew it made me uncomfortable and banned him from coming over. From 8-9yrs of age he wasn't a part of my life. Unfortunately my grandmother didn't understand the situation and was close to him. Mom didn't want to contradict her mother in-law so at about age 9 1/2 he came back into my life. The abuse worsened. My mind couldn't cope & went elsewhere. While the abuse was going on another version of myself endured all the pain. I still remembered all the pain I'd endured from 4-7 years old. This 9 yr. old personality created a 7 yr. old personality who'd be designated those memories. As I grew older, the 7&9 yr. old personalities remained 7&9.
At age 13 I had my first menstrual cycle & became a "woman". Couple regular changes a child experiences at this age with everything occuring & I snapped. I ended up in my first Psychiatrist Ward. Here I shared years of abuse. Criminal charges were filed. My 2 cousins and I made statements against him. However, when my cousins were questioned by a Social worker about the abuse they denied it & defended their father. My aunt's husband's lawyer sent a letter stating "2 of the 3 girls accusing my client recanted & the remaining is in a mental hospital, making her word not credible". At this point I became very bitter and depressed. My brain did what it had learned to do when I couldn't cope- split. I created 13 yr. old personality.
