I am 23years old girl who doesn’t know how to focus on herself and all she know is to focus on waiting for a perfect partner. When I was a child, it was waiting for the perfect best friend. One after the other came I kept on trying to hold them close to me. In fact, I did every possible thing to do that but sooner or later they broke my heart and walked up with some other friend. I never understood why they always ended up being jealous on me and ultimately disliking me. But like the last ray of hope, I finally found the one. My perfect best friend. OMG, she was so like me. She was simple, humble, very friendly, we had so amazing time together. Most important she was not jealous of me and definitely doesn’t dislike me. Oops!! But like every awesome story, I had some villains in my story too but guess what I fought them all. I was a true heroine of the story and won all battles to keep my best friend with me, even if it involved slitting my hand and being called by the principal. I was happy, I won. yeeee….. After few months wooofff…… gone… wait… what…. For whom did I do all this, who doesn’t even text me if I don’t and who doesn’t give a call if I don’t. Yes she did respond always, whenever I called for almost 2years but isn’t a perfect friendship supposed to be equal from both sides. So why doesn’t she ever initiate anything from her side, not a call, not a text not a meeting… So once i decided to sit back and wait……. Well the wait is still continued. And my faith in perfect friendship was finally gone. No more I believed that a perfect best friend existed. Thanks to her for bringing me out of this illusion.
In the mean time I grew up, my hunt for a perfect best friend changed to the hunt for perfect man. My Mr. Right. I met few men obviously but most of them I din like, and those on whom I was typically interested, they were not into me. There was one guy whom I liked lil lil, and he was also responding nicely but wait even before love could blossom, he was behind something else. I ran away from my third date, I felt like I was getting assaulted. Since childhood I was very insecured for this matter and I just wanted one thing that no body uses me for lust. Then there I finally found my Mr.Right who agreed upon my silly stupid condition of not doing anything until we get married. OMG I was falling head over heels in love with him. It was a fairytale, I saw love in his eyes every time I met him. Though we started off with this silly stupid promise to each other but obviously that din persist for long and we both broke the rule, getting to be quite close to each other in every possible way. Soon evidences of his non-commitment into this relation came up, I started fighting with him but still I believed my love. Later he decided to call of the relation, I am not aware of the exact reasons, but I was told I fight a lot. Well nobody tried to understand the insecurity I went through because of some of his acts. But by that time we were close enough, so I felt like, the one thing that I never wished to be in life, has happened. I was used for lust. I fought with him even more, but everytime he said he was in love with me truly, I couldn’t help but believe in him. However he always added that he can’t be in relation whereas I wanted us to be back. He also told me a lot about his life stories which were quiet painful, he even cried many times and all his tears made me believe that he can’t use me. He is not a person like that. He loved me and whatever we did was out of love. Obviously true love will be united some time...