I walk this world alone, occasionally running into lost souls I briefly meet that can never find there way back home, once alive and living with promising futures, now only they're withering remaines of what's left of themselves. Only when they are higher than god do I see them apart of this world, full of color, lively and normal. Such a mind fuck, imagine having a nasty flu combo and knowing that you could feel all better, with just one thing. Then once the high has diminished, they turn back to a decomposing shell of whats left. Theyre soul gone like smoke to the wind, they've vanished with no where to be found until that fairy comes back with that evil addicting elixir.

So, I just keep walking this unpredictable route, not sure who I'll run into along the way, never staying anywhere too long just living day by day with no thought of tomorrow on my mind.

The only support system I have are the men that are more fooling then a bonafide transsexual, well though out decievers offering help and protection disguised as knight and shining armored lovers, but behind there costumes only ugly leprechauns with selfish desires and feeding off greed like I'm cheap a all you can eat only to complain that I didnt offer more as they feast on my self worth and dignity for dessert.

I find myself feeling more disgusted at myself. Is this the price I pay for wanting to not feel? Its not like I have a knife to my throat telling me I Have to give myself to these men physically... But mentally, Im literally forced with a gun to my head. Im a prisoner of heroin. I do the only thing I know to cope, the same thing that brought me to this pathetic life, heroin.

Temporarily, I escape this dreadful, depressing life I live and the price I pay to forget it. every hit I inhale, I drift away with my emotions and with it my tears wash away my sins as they fall apon my red blotched cheeks. My body eventually feels weightless that wings appear and I fly into the clouds of heaven, free of my sins, and feeling peaceful bliss.

But, just like a dream, I wake up to this hell again by morning, and Im back to wandering through the unknown path I call life until til my next fix to complete me.

#lost #soulless #addict #meth #heroin