I fell in love with someone without loving myself first. I never knew how important it was for me to love myself fully before loving another, I met a man I thought would be the one to save me from my unhappiness but it never worked out that way. Our first time hanging out he told me he was already in a relationship but wasnt happy and was trying to find a way out and I stupidly believed him. At the time i was so desperate for someone to love me anyone it didn't matter to me if he was already taken, I was a fool and I had no love or respect for myself and he knew that and took advantage of it. I told him I loved him after the second date, I gave myself fully to him that day. He eventually started asking me for money I was so desperate for his love i gave him everything he asked me for I couldn't afford to pay my own bills because of it but yet he loved me so it was worth it right? I found out I was pregnant a month into us dating I was so excited this was it this is going to make him chose me and leave her and we going to start our famiy and i'll have the happy ending i been longing for. Needless to say it didn't turn out that way he still dealt with me but I knew it was because he was using me i lost my car because i couldnt make my payment's plus his payment's of course he never offered to even take me to work I had to walk everyday while pregnant to get there and home. I had our son who is the only good thing i've ever gotten from that man but he never offered to help, he knew i was struggling finding a baby siter so I could work and i couldnt afford one all my checks went straight to him. Then the day came I missed to much work and lost my job but i thought hey after me being there and helping him of course he will have my back and be there for me and our son through a tuff time, that never happened I barely heard from him slowly stopped seeing him all together he wold text once a month ask about the baby and then disapear again i lost my car my job eventually my home i was at my lowest. But i foud another job and the blessing that it was i could afford a baby sitter I slowly had to earn to love myself but it was the love of my son that showed me i was worth loving. He loved me no matter what i tried to be the best mother i could for him i layed in bed every night and thanked God for him i learned i had to go through that life lesson to learn something important about myself, of course once my sons fther knew i was working again he slowly started to creep back into our lives but he wasnt expecting me to be a better version of myself. I loved myself and i knew my worth it felt like i let all the pain and heart break unleash when i let him know he was no longer worth it to me i was free from his spell i didnt need his fake love for i had real love in myself and my son. To this day he tries to get back into my life but never again will i love someone without loving myself first.