I have allowed you to share part of me, my thoughts, my interests. We met a few times. I knew that I wasn't good enough last time, not talkative enough, too tense. Still - it doesn't justify this development. I trusted and once again the harsh reality robbed me. The hope that things could be different was taken away from me. Now I feel like I'm back to where I was before, just dazed, unable to escape reality, feeling anxious, thanks to you, thanks to you (or me?). You seemed to be different, but thank you for proving me wrong. You showed me that hope is relative. That signs are relative. That everything can change for the worse within seconds. That my fears were justified (in the end).
Nevertheless, I will not give up because of this. I often - always - fought alone. You can only overcome the really difficult things on your own anyway. Yes, it's nice to have someone, but it's also ok to be alone. It is also important for me to say that this story is not a story about self-pity. I honestly shared an experience from my life, but I don't want to feel sorry for myself. It's about coming to terms with things so that I can move on. It's the only way to move on. The moral of the story is that you have to come to terms with yourself. It's hard to live without accepting yourself (at least) halfway. You can also have better relationships with others if you have a reasonably stable relationship with yourself. That sounds easy, but it's not. If you don't get on so well with yourself, whether on a daily basis or just in between, then that's okay. I know it's hard, but unfortunately life has to go on, because stagnation is not life. I wish you to live and not just survive. Have a pleasant day.
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