Memories,race through my mind everytime your rare smile swipe my thoughts,while in my comfort zone.I want to call you just like old times,and am expecting you to also feel it so bad on your end,a coincidence ringtone at that rate of my thoughts beeps my phone,but its not you😟😟😟.I can’t remember if I ever said my last goodbyes because it never has an end,or is this your way of saying goodbye?

I miss you as the day rises to morning and the night sets to darkness.Your smile opens my heart like a bud that thirsts for the sun.No day passes that I don’t miss to have you close just like old times.

“kesh,what does he have?”She asked.

{I did not have an answer to that question at that moment}

“Am done listening to this ranting,yet your so invisible before him.?”She added.

Tears,Joy ,mixed emotions all closed to one heavy forced smile..

And I answered,”I don’t know best friend,he is just different,but sadly am invisible”.



There is something about you son of the soil,Your silence kills me,your voice heals me,your smile warms me,your touch is too secure for my blood…am scared at the same time I just want you so close that the dark spirits can’t reach to break.

I have not dreamt any sad endings with you “my love”,no happy one too maybe you decide to write it down,in so many ways you make me too desperate for my own standards.But who said love is only for the weak??obsession has wrapped itself around me,every man I sit down for a date with,I wish they act like you..

You raised me when all was lost,funny how I met you,through the most impossible nature,I was so reluctant to tell my friends about you,because your kind of trait will be very foreign from the tic tacs I have introduced to them,I gave myself time,I enjoyed the good times,I longed for that date like its an eve’s curse..

And you still ask me what I saw in him??Have I not mentioned enough??

Sadly,I can hardly spot any negative traits to balance the question why him? and not the rest,but I have the best reasons at heart,listen:-

“He is caring

To find a man that warms your heart with courteous expressions,movements is quite a rare virture with the current miĺlenials.You remember how John behaved when I was unwell for a week?The idiot was already with someone else,claiming he was still at his mothers’ place..for christ sake Joan,You thought he was the one?Are you kidding me?And you call that future?With Him I find peace,his kind of caring sounds like one that has not ripped me and that he is still on orientation yet he is not.

The little things matter,

The kind hello,the how are you?the pray for me words acknowleding the little virtues,if you expect him to be like Joseph who used to send uncountable gifts then thats not what I want,I want the little things.His way of solving issues beats my heart so fast and sends me to guilty pleasures,Right from sit down,No day did I spot him being a loud mouth,Dont remind me about Brian who used to shout too loud like he wants to fight for small issues..one would think the neighbours are also involved in our small fights.

The man is humble ,best friend..so humble that it sounds too good to be true..you asked me why and I have to compare,lets talk about that other one who behaved like he is the richest one until he started requesting for money when in real sense he was just a hustler like the rest of us.

And finally I find someone that moves my whole chemistry,to the point that its too scared.The one,I have been praying to God in my list of wants and you sit me down for this?Joan you can do better than this.

Lets not even talk of Respect, His speech has a gentleman touch,how he handles me is beyond my expectation..I know am crazy but remember Joe who was good at being rude even to you..

Am not saying,I can’t see that He wont pick me,but atleast lets thank God for showing us that such humans exist.Yes am all over heels,but with the right reasons,the right choices..but atleast celebrate with me best friend,at the end of the day am grateful this love grew in my heart”.

Am speaking for every lady out here that has found love,spotted it but cant find the right ways to grab them with their two hands .All these emotions do happen,somedays it will be the hardest choice to make to move on,other moments it will be the thoughts of all your years and in most cases you move on and accept that they did not pick you,even when they barely know your thoughts.

For all I know we have run into unhealthy relationships thinking they can solve healthy bonds in the end they dont.
But never be so blind not to see an open one that is gladly willing to try it out.Loneliness will always be a torment in some nights,thinking why does he not think of me?Is he okay?Not even a hello? Or should I say hi?….All kind of questions with a text away to get the right answers but if he doesnt feel your absence why nag them with your hello text presence.

Be calm,At the right time everything will fall in their right places….If they don’t it was never yours to keep..No Lion spots a deer and lets it go,they will always increase their running speed just to eat the right meat…I hope you find peace in your lost moments…See you next time😊.