Abandoned Ship
‘Sarah, do you think mom still thinks of us?’
Jacob stuttered,
stumbling into his plaid pyjamas
‘She’s sick Jakie, she loves us.. She just
Needs some time’
I swallowed a pit of guilt
Knowing I was just prolonging his disappointment.
Mom left us,
She was sick
but she wasn’t coming home.
Mental illness has its layers
Hell,
No one knew what ailed her
But I can tell you she was using
The wrong medication.
Jake was spared from the early days,
The hard days..
When mom was on her
Personal cocktail of pills
We treaded lightly
Tucked ourselves away by 8
When her manic state seemed
to override
My father played it down
‘Oh you know how she gets, honey’
No, this wasn’t normal
She needed help
& the doors were closed
I was just a kid
Trying to stay afloat
Confused how my soft, sweet mother
Became a ticking time bomb
Set to explode.
My father turned a blind eye
Shut the door with a dead bolt
She was lost in her mind
Checked out,
resigned
I was mad,
Emotionally drained
How could she leave us?
What was the purpose?
She was denied
The help she required
I pray she’s alive
Untangling her wires
I can’t keep this up
For much longer
Laying false hope
Upon my brothers
Shoulders.
He’s only 6
So I’ll protect his youthfulness
Ignorant bliss
In this case
Is something worth offering
Starting to have a little hope
Myself
Maybe she’ll turn the key
I’ll wake
To her watching news
Maximum volume
on the couch
We live in a world of questions
So I’ve made it my duty
Do my best
For Jake to have the childhood
I was robbed from so early
I’m merely 17
Have seen more darkness
Than most
Could fathom
Or even dream
But It’s made me strong
Climbing back from rock bottom
I’ll thrust forward
Leaving no one abandoned.
* fiction
An old write, reworked
Jacob stuttered,
stumbling into his plaid pyjamas
‘She’s sick Jakie, she loves us.. She just
Needs some time’
I swallowed a pit of guilt
Knowing I was just prolonging his disappointment.
Mom left us,
She was sick
but she wasn’t coming home.
Mental illness has its layers
Hell,
No one knew what ailed her
But I can tell you she was using
The wrong medication.
Jake was spared from the early days,
The hard days..
When mom was on her
Personal cocktail of pills
We treaded lightly
Tucked ourselves away by 8
When her manic state seemed
to override
My father played it down
‘Oh you know how she gets, honey’
No, this wasn’t normal
She needed help
& the doors were closed
I was just a kid
Trying to stay afloat
Confused how my soft, sweet mother
Became a ticking time bomb
Set to explode.
My father turned a blind eye
Shut the door with a dead bolt
She was lost in her mind
Checked out,
resigned
I was mad,
Emotionally drained
How could she leave us?
What was the purpose?
She was denied
The help she required
I pray she’s alive
Untangling her wires
I can’t keep this up
For much longer
Laying false hope
Upon my brothers
Shoulders.
He’s only 6
So I’ll protect his youthfulness
Ignorant bliss
In this case
Is something worth offering
Starting to have a little hope
Myself
Maybe she’ll turn the key
I’ll wake
To her watching news
Maximum volume
on the couch
We live in a world of questions
So I’ve made it my duty
Do my best
For Jake to have the childhood
I was robbed from so early
I’m merely 17
Have seen more darkness
Than most
Could fathom
Or even dream
But It’s made me strong
Climbing back from rock bottom
I’ll thrust forward
Leaving no one abandoned.
* fiction
An old write, reworked
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