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A Letter To Self
Dear Barry,
I am going to address you as a teen 7-8 years back, as a kid 10-15 years back and as an young adult of 22 years as well. In a patriarchal family it has been very tough to prove your worth, significance and existence for your own sake if not for the family or for your parents. You have felt guilty for not being brainy like your class toppers or like your cousin whom you haven't ever seen since your birth. You hated those closed doors outdated education system. You have been bullied and had been felt guilty for your sadistic and suicidal nature but nobody really understood the cause. You have lived a torturous childhood. In one of the toughest phase of your life it was devastating to see your mom hanging through the fan, it was devastating to see your dad deterring, irresponsible, negligent, bigot, cocky etc. But you have still stood with a hope that one day you will get wings to live your dreams, be a cricketer, play for India, captain the team, win the World Cup and Test Championship. At the age of 22 you're one of the most brainy and outlooking guy in your family and age group, the harshest incidents have become your useful and best experience. You have grown like anything since you have turned 18, you have experienced sadness and apathy better since your mother passed away. I know I have written a long letter but pardon me and please bear with me, because words fall short to elaborate about your life. You have been a huge source of inspiration for your friends and people of your age-groups. You have been felt guilty to be unique and for your choices but with passage of time you realised that this is what you are made of. You are aggressive, willful, obsessive, firm but at the same time you're trustworthy, promisable and you've grown to be intelligent and smart as well. Atleast you realised off late that you are intelligent, smart, sharp and witty as well.
In the end all I want to tell you is be proud of yourself, embrace yourself the way you have been with all your positives and negatives, you're a broken crockery joined with a thin lining of gold like Kintsugi done in Japan.
Yours Lovingly
Barry
© Saswat Baral, Teeks, Tiku, Barry
I am going to address you as a teen 7-8 years back, as a kid 10-15 years back and as an young adult of 22 years as well. In a patriarchal family it has been very tough to prove your worth, significance and existence for your own sake if not for the family or for your parents. You have felt guilty for not being brainy like your class toppers or like your cousin whom you haven't ever seen since your birth. You hated those closed doors outdated education system. You have been bullied and had been felt guilty for your sadistic and suicidal nature but nobody really understood the cause. You have lived a torturous childhood. In one of the toughest phase of your life it was devastating to see your mom hanging through the fan, it was devastating to see your dad deterring, irresponsible, negligent, bigot, cocky etc. But you have still stood with a hope that one day you will get wings to live your dreams, be a cricketer, play for India, captain the team, win the World Cup and Test Championship. At the age of 22 you're one of the most brainy and outlooking guy in your family and age group, the harshest incidents have become your useful and best experience. You have grown like anything since you have turned 18, you have experienced sadness and apathy better since your mother passed away. I know I have written a long letter but pardon me and please bear with me, because words fall short to elaborate about your life. You have been a huge source of inspiration for your friends and people of your age-groups. You have been felt guilty to be unique and for your choices but with passage of time you realised that this is what you are made of. You are aggressive, willful, obsessive, firm but at the same time you're trustworthy, promisable and you've grown to be intelligent and smart as well. Atleast you realised off late that you are intelligent, smart, sharp and witty as well.
In the end all I want to tell you is be proud of yourself, embrace yourself the way you have been with all your positives and negatives, you're a broken crockery joined with a thin lining of gold like Kintsugi done in Japan.
Yours Lovingly
Barry
© Saswat Baral, Teeks, Tiku, Barry
