Life comes with curses and blessings. Some curses are passed down from generation to generation. As is, blessings can be rewards for breaking those curses. I was cursed from finding true love. There's also something called faith and I plan to use that Faith to break this affliction cast down upon me. Letting love pass you by is a great misfortune. people never know the true value of love until they're watching from the outside.

It seems as if I were born with a broken heart. A feeling of emptiness or even hatred for those who truly knew it. It hurts the worst to see those misuse it and take it for granted. Especially, from someone with a good heart. A broken heart and a empty heart can also teach the best lessons in life. That's why I walk humbly around those who may love me until this curse is broken. I think my soulmate are one true love may be the key to what breaks this curse.

I'm 34 now and the clock is ticking. To have live this long and watch everyone around me enjoy something I may never experience, it can change a person. It's a thin line between love and hate. Though I don't like to admit it without love there is only hate. every time I get close to even the thought of love is like flipping a coin that only falls on one side. The results leave me with a void that can't be filled.

The question is why am I cursed? Can this curse be broken? Is this a curse I'll have to live with and die with? I want answers. I will break this curse if it's the last thing I do. That's what I'm continuously telling myself! beyond reasoning I have done everything within my religious beliefs to find answers.

Today, I had an appointment with my life coach. after send bad breakups and disappointing friends it was time to seek professional help. I began doing some research online about social development in professional counseling. Most of the answers were to speak to someone about my problems. So, now the question is who? talking to a professional was kind of hard considering we have no emotional background or connection beforehand. Then a friend gave me a referral to a life coach to help me get some answers.

This was a start, I guess you can say. having one session with a life coach of course then fix my problems. Talking to my coach gave me a road map on how to face a problem I already knew existed. Basically, a guideline to be aware of how to condition myself to overcome my problems. In a sense to cheer me on from something worth fighting for. Someone once told me, I need not to ask why. But why is what always is eating at me in the back of my mind.

Now I'm wondering do I follow my intuition! What is the limit to seek what you may were never meant to have? Could this be all in my head? maybe having a psychiatrist pick my brain will unlock a door to why I am who I am. For now only true feeling of Love is but a dream. This psychiatrist idea may not be a bad plan!

Come to find out there is a difference between a psychiatrist and a psychologist. one treat you through medication and evaluation while the other listens to you to find the source of mental conditions. It is crazy that I can't fall in love. Or am I crazy because I've never been in love? Where is the irony in that?

How the hell did I get into this crossroad? The thought of being medically induced to have a normal life scares me. How will I know the medication is helping me or not? To find my one true love is the only thing I want to fix this problem. I really don't want to let someone travel through my thoughts and blame my parents for not loving me enough. I don't think that's the answer!

Besides, what do I have to do to get this kind of help? Checking myself into a mental hospital won't fit into my schedule at this point. Yeah, I know that was a bit overboard there.

But hey what would you do if you were in my shoes? This whole ordeal has become nothing more than a q&A. Could I just be a drama queen in this all? The risk of repeating my ideas of being curse might just be the ticket to learn me right in front of psychiatrist. How about I cool it down with my landish thoughts. Had to take a breather for a moment. Let's sleep on this for tonight and regroup tomorrow.

Had the weirdest dream last night about this actually been a full-on curse? this dream was very detailed to the brink of actually me believing this was reality. I've never envision how could this have taken place until now. could this have been a real message sent to me in a dream?

I once remember my pastor preaching a sermon about generational curses. That's why I truly believe I may be cursed in my life on this Earth! Maybe someone assuming I mail in my bloodline had did something so terrible always hated so that me and my family will be cursed from loving again. Far fetched I know! But what else could explain my affliction?

Did a warlock a witch wizard voodoo priest God or maybe even the devil himself curse me? I've heard of Indian legends about reincarnation and having lived past lives before now. The chances of a past ancestor doesn't seem to be unbelievable neither does having live the past life either. I want to know do my dreams and feelings really do have meaning. Like 10 my mind have Carrie secrets of my ancestors are my past lives hidden in them?

I used to pass by the psychic reading places laughing at the customers who pay money for this! Some say seeing is believing. Can I believe there are people on this Earth gifted with the abilities to do such things? The human mind is more complex then the ordinary person thinks. Imagine me visiting a tarot card reader and them telling me all that I saw in the dream. Telling me that it all meant something. That is mind-blowing!

But even more what price would you pay for such information? We are not talking about money here. More of the price of losing one's soul. I want love but not at a cost so high. How do you pray to God about things that may or go against his teachings? A lot of Christians don't believe in witchcraft but the Bible does speak of such things actually existing on Earth!

Sometimes people make really in the moment choices that they pay for in due time. We all reap what we sow. Listening to some relationship problems people, you only hear, one side of what's going on. I guess that's one of the tricks of the trade people go through to weed out things. In the heart there comes a feeling that we all regret having and we sometimes don't want to feel it. The question is what to say or not to say?

I finally see I just have to have the courage to seek these problems out. In the beginning I was not sure if it was all worth it. You sometimes have to go through things and experience how you should make your decisions. Not only dead but keep trying to move on and make better choices. Take your time and evaluate how this or that will help you in life and in your relationship.

I haven't talked to my counselor again but this is pretty much what the guideline is that I should go by. Not bad advice at all to start. I wonder if my next visit they would like to discuss the dream I had recently. What interpretation would be giving it has to do with my life? Does it really have a realistic meaning and should I pursue or occult help?

In the dream I was in one of my past lives. Or maybe it was a vision of a doppelganger. Doppelgangers are not you what's someone who looks like you maybe even a relative. Meaning and ancestor or a descendant not living in the same time. It's kind of confusing!

Tell him his dream would have taken too much time to explain from what I envision. It was more of the emotion that I felt. People have gone under hypnosis to be able to remember dreams like this. maybe there is a reason I can't fully remember everything in this vision. I want to explain it the way it happened at that time.

today I'm going to do some research on psychics Palm readers hypnotist and tarot card readers. Some really believe they were sent with the gift of insight. Who am I to judge but witness such a gift. Like in any line of business you have scammers. This is a serious deal to me. I want to find someone who is just as serious about their craft. Truth be told everyone's out to get rich.

We are now in the age of Internet and you can easily get a reading online! here in the South we also have brick-and-mortar shop to visit as well. In the past I have input my information for a horoscope reading. In doing so I received an email from a psychic giving me a quote on quote forecast for my future. I never took it serious so not sure if it contain anything relevant to now. my concern about love and wanting love wasn't so appealing during that time.

There's a local shop near me me and my friends used to joke about visiting. It's located in the heart of downtown. Every time I saw it I was out clubbing. the thought of being caught coming out of the place then wasn't something I wanted to do. Again this is the. A lot of people are superstitious and a lot of people are very religious. Most African-Americans or ethnic groups or a little of both.

Tonight I'm going out with some friends to the club downtown. maybe if I slip out before everyone decides to leave I won't get caught going to see this psychic. I don't care once I'm coming out because I've already gotten the information I hopefully need.

As I look out the window into the sky I know this it's a full moon tonight. Like the old saying you never know what happens during a full moon.

While getting dressed as always, I think what is tonight's the night? Meaning the night I find my soulmate or my one true love!
I have to look my absolute best.even if I am curse there's still a chance I'll meet the right one. you would think if it's my true love then nothing will keep us apart. Not even a curse.

In the meantime we can start the night off by taking a couple of shots. Anyone who knows me have better no Bacardi 151 Puerto Rican rum is my favorite drink. If I'm not drinking wrong my next favorite is a Long island iced tea.at this point I don't care what it's like it has to say these drinks got me feeling real good and I'm dressed to impress and anybody could get it.

Club crescent is the best venue to check out if you ever to decide to visit Louisiana.
Located off the banks of the red River in Shreveport Louisiana I'll River district entertainment area is the best. Born with roots of Creole tradition and cajun culture what better place to find a good psychic? I just love the live bands and music they have playing all night long.

After dancing my tell law I finally remembered why I really came out tonight. not wanting to be extremely rude to my friends and just disappear I played sick. I excused myself and went outside to get a breath of fresh air. leaving the club I noticed how beautiful the full moon really was tonight. the amazing reflection it had on the river as I made my way down the boardwalk. As I begin to get closer to madam Marie's shop. I started to feel like I was being followed.

As I slowly turned around there was a guy coming behind me. It was someone I saw inside the club. Then I heard a voice say hey you you left your phone at the bar in the club. Then said by the way my name is Ramon. I reply thanks Ramon my name is David. I told him good looking out and that I would see him around. He began to walk back towards the club and I headed back down the boardwalk. Thinking to myself maybe I had too much to drink leaving my phone behind.

as I continued my way to Madame Marie shop I can only remember all the good times I used to have as the bands played. thinking of all the past relationships that didn't work out in the nights we come out and sit by the riverbank. There was also a very eerie feeling as I approached her shop. Almost as if she was expecting me. I began to look around to see if there was anyone watching before I walked in. Seems like everyone was in their own world! Maybe I'm just making a big deal out of nothing being seen. Most of the customers she got seem to be tourist mostly. I've never met anyone I knew who had been inside. It was as if I was about to open a door to another world.

Right before I could cross the parking lot in front of her shop a classmate from high school stops me. It was Chris! Looks like something's trying to stop me from seeing this psychic tonight. turns out I was about to take a trip down memory lane with Chris for the next 30 minutes. At this point the group of friends I came out with begin to notice I was missing. Couldn't help but to notice the five missed calls I had in the text message saying WTF? AFTER LISTENING TO CHRIS GO ON AND ON HE FINALLY SAID THE MAGIC WORDS. Hey let's go in!

I tried to play dumb I was like go where? He said in madam Marie's shop. My jaw dropped. I was like are you serious? Danny said why not? It might be fun. That was all I needed to hear. now if anyone sees me go in or come out I can just say I was with Chris. Besides he's drunk hell I'm drunk let's do it. So we went into madam Marie's shop.

When we entered I wasn't sure what to expect being my first time in one of these places. As you come in there was a traditional setup of southern Creole voodoo merchandise. Incense love spells money spells and all kinds of magic Stones people use in the occult.

She had what I guess was a receptionist to greet you and take your money if you wanted to buy anything. There was a wall that separates the storefront from where she does her reading. At this point there was no sight of Madame Marie yet as Chris and I explored the shop. Besides I had to pretend I wasn't there actually to get a reading.

Trying to figure out the exact moment I will try to make my way Tamara Marie and get away from Chris. Then the reception is asked if we like to meet her? Before I can even answer Chris said I'm all game. I'm thinking in my head of course he would. Almost like a ghost as we entered her reading room she appeared. There stood the most beautiful Creole woman I've ever seen. she was dressed in a long maroon velvet housecoat with one of those psychic bunnies on her head with the feather sticking up. As we looked in all to the one who is about to answer all my questions. Then a loud noise erupted. The sound was like a cannon then the lights went off.

Chris and I ran to the front of the store to see what all the commotion was about. A car head hit one of those transformers in front of her shop. Chris who was a paramedic ran outside to help the motorist. Just as he was leaving the lights dimly came back on. Dana. Madame Marie saying don't worry I have a backup generator. she said she had gotten one because the lights go out a lot doing bad storms and she will lose business when it happened. She aches would you like to continue without your friend? I said give me a moment to check with Chris. he said he was going to ride with the patient to the hospital to make sure he was okay. It was a friend of a friend kind of thing I'm not sure. but he did say he hates a run tonight and go ahead without him. I then made my way back to the shop.

When I came back Matt Murray had already taken the open sign down off the door but it was still unlocked. Lucky me, huh? I walked in and went to the back. She was there waiting. She said so can I help you find the clues to what you've been longing for? Funny she acts as if she can see something in my eyes. I asked don't you want to lock up? The sign said you're closed. She replied I figured we wouldn't want any interruptions. I asked what time do you open? Maybe I can come back tomorrow? She said have a moment to think about why you came here. Then I said I really wanted to see the inside that's it.

I asked her how does someone get the gift like yours? She said I was born with it! I got to thinking is it worth what may happen next? She didn't seem bothered by all the questions and waiting. I was wondering do I tell her what I want or does she asked me to tell her. I mean you are a psychic you should start the conversation. I can't believe what is about to happen because this could change everything. She said come back when you want answers I already know what you're thinking. Then I said down to see what she knew.

She began by saying why do you want love so bad? Then she went on to say there's a lonely ora you have in your life! It's as if you feel you got fixed or something and you don't want help. I wasn't ready to say anything devil drop a hint but let the reading speak for itself. I asked do you have a true love or a husband? And if so does he accept you and the job you do?

she replied by saying my personal life is not a part of this consultation. Do you wish to have a reading? I said sure why not I'm ready now. Then she said let's proceed! Madam Marie then laid out her cards. she said you must first believe that anything you want in life is at your fingertips. You must choose you want what is already bestowed upon you. I can only give you a reading but you have to seek out your own destiny. Just as I was thinking about telling her the dream I had she said why do you dream of curses? I answered and said how do you know?

She reply it's all here in the tarot cards. She said there is a curse upon you but it's not one that keeps you from Love but from having faith. She said it is only you who are afraid of giving your heart! You must search your heart to find your own happiness. Then I asked have I already found my soulmate? Then she said your heart will let you know when you find the one true love you so desire! Then she said if not anything more I believe our session is done. Then I paid her and left the shop. (To be continued....)