The spiral stairs seemed endless, cracking noises similar to whines of pain echoed in the quiet building. My effort to make no sound seemed impossible.
He was sketching something in his notebook when we got into the hall near our room. I took a peek interested while thinking that I want to continue from where we left.
''Do you believe in heaven or hell?'' the sound of the pencil on the paper stopped abruptly, as I opened the door as soundless as possible.
''Not really, I mean if there's something for us after death why it will be something harmful, it's only to scare people off I think.''
His honest reply let me puzzled. But I let it go, it didn't matter anyway.
I didn't expect to be both unbelievers. Or having doubts.
He let his papers fall on his bed near his day uniform, we need to change in another in the evenings when we go downstairs to eat.
''Come on dork, hurry, I'm starving.''
I didn't bother answering, I just followed lazily his trail of invisible steps after I changed too.
The third floor always felt dull, like a forgotten place where trash gets thrown. Only five used rooms stare at the windows, the last one doesn't have a window on the other side of the hall. It doesn't even have a number like the other doors, a slight stain light-brown, smirks on the old wrinkled wood where the last number should be. I can't place the exact time when it went missing, I just know it was there.
The most interesting thing about the third floor is the window at the end of the hall, it's the only barred window. If you take a careful look, you can see a trace of a palm blurred in the new grey paint applied in a hurry. One of the bars on the right is slightly bent.
''What are you staring at?''
''Nothing, let's go.''
Someone should notice already, but no one is talking about that.
We start making the spiral stairs talk again in tired noises, I can't hold myself not to look up, above our heads a tiny door covering the left part of the roof.
The attic, a second rule, and the closest for us to break.

The hall on the first floor feels larger than any other in this building, it's full of life down here. Loud steps echoed a while even after the others are out of sight, like tiny stuck rats who fight to survive or to get out. To not get caught behind.
I wish I could get caught, but at the same time not yet.
Although, even if the happiness might trick you, here are harmful things too. Take for example the psychic analysis room right after the oval room. It was my first traumatic experience, I loved every last bit of it until it got too old and boring.
Every time I walk past the door, my desire to open it gets so high I almost do it, but I stop myself inches away. What I will encounter? the same thing? of course not.
No one talks about it, it's forbidden, everyone agreed to shut up...well, almost everyone.
When we finally saw ourselves at the end of the hall, on the right the chancellery grins at me in a way a criminal will smile at you when they realize you're home alone.
We head to the left into the dining room, the smell of freshly cooked food wakes my empty stomach. The need to hurry strangled my ankles slowly, no one will cook for you at the end of the week, you can starve to death. If no one will help you, then you won't eat for three days, and the worst is that sometimes, they don't even let enough food for all of us.
It's like an experiment if you lock up in a room some rats without cheese they will starve, the hunger can make you mad, eventually, they will start eating each other. The last to survive is changed, it will no longer eat cheese, but other rats. You've changed its nature.
In the hustle and bustle of the kitchen next to the dining room, I immediately noticed two of them coming out of the ordinary scene of the greasy floor and dirty youngsters kidnaped by hunger.
''Look over there!'' I said while pointing at the freaked out twins. The boy was trying to shove off some children which blocked the way, protecting his younger sister, truly disgusting.
''Where dumbass, I'm trying to get us some food'' he replied a bit annoyed while he reached close enough to the fridge, taking whatever his eyes lingered on.
''Near the third round of seats and tables, I think we have new kids in town''
''Really?'' his voice was hoarse and his eyes looked around. He took a good look at them before heading their way.
''Nice, let me do the talking, you'll scare them'' he sounded a bit excited.
''Poor babies'' I replied while rolling my eyes.


© rubickon