You were my one and only. My best friend. My lover. My life. Sure we had our ups and downs, but who doesn't right? You promised you'd stay with me forever no matter what happens or how sick I get. You promised you would never break up with me. You said that I am perfect and that I made you happy. Well... you made me happy. You made my life better and more colorful. You made it all pink fluffy unicorns riding on rainbows. But... then we fought. It was just a little fight, but you wanted us to break up. I fought like crazy for you to come back that day. I cried oceans for you that day. I was worried sick that I might have lost you that day. But after a while like every other time you came back. Then it was like nothing ever happened. You said that you smiled more often now because of me and that you are a lot happier now that I am by your side. Sure the distance was tough, but we promised to fight for our love. But it is pretty hard to do that when you keep finding the smallest reason to fight with me. You have no idea how hurt I felt because of that. You even said I was your biggest mistake. Any idea how much that hurts? But I still fought for you to come back. I fought and fought and fought all over again. And soooooo many times too. Living away from each other ofcourse is hard. Especially the time. Whenever you had time to call, I didn't. You said that I did not care about you, that I would not do the smallest thing for you. But as far as I recall it, I actually did a lot for you. I halved you out of your debt. I stood beside your side when you felt down. I replied your texts as fast as I could, because I knew if I don't reply fast enough you'll get mad. Although you take hours to reply my texts. Then one time you wanted to call me, ofcourse I did not have any time at the moment. You then found another reason to fight with me. I tried to stay calm, but then you said i never do anything for you. That is when i just... exploded. I was so angry. I did so much for you. But all you could see were my flaws at that moment. And then ofcourse you told us to break up again...because I had no time to call you. I was just so tired and exhausted of fighting for you to come back, that I said ok. Then I decided to block you on every app and break all contact with you. That is when you texted me. You got kinda mad at me for blocking me and said that you though we would get back together. I then had to take one heck of a deep breath. I told you I would have to think about it, because I was just so sick and tired of you keep breaking up with me. That is when you freaked out and told me to leave you. Again. I ofcourse was highly confused. I asked so many times, but you told me to go. So... I did. The next day you tried to call me. I was still pretty mad at you and still quite confused so I hung up. You wrote me again. And said that I made my choice and that you are going to block me now. And then you wrote me that you will always love me.....
Love me? Then why is it I felt the opposite of that? Sure my life because of you was a lot more colorful, but it was also because of you that I cried so much. Because of you I had so many more insecurities and so many doubts. I found out that you had so many secrets and I had to find them out myself...the hard way. The day I said my final goodbyes to you was quite strange. I didn't shed a single tear for you. Not a single one. I felt sad for the first few seconds, but... then I felt nothing. Like you just tore out my entire heart and left a black hole. But then as night as I laid in bed...I just couldn't stop crying. I had so many mixed emotions. I was so sad that you left, but also so mad at you that you broke all those promises that you made with me and that you broke up with me over such a stupid fight. I was just so exhausted and tired. And I still am. I will never forget you no matter how much I want to or try to. You are branded in my memories and my heart forever. I'm sorry that I was not enough for you. Hope you will find someone that can call when you want to. That can reply back as soon as you text. That will be patient for you, because booooy they will need lots of that. Well... This is my goodbye to you. Bye.


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