After school most of the individuals are excited for college life, however in case of Naima it is different, Unlike others her mind is filled with lots of thought, we call them Overthinking.
Last night on seeing the routine she couldn't make but
misunderstand the whole thing, becoming dramatic she complains to her mother, "What ! the college will have classes till 5pm , how could they do to me school never had such things. "

Her Mother consoling her, " Dear, it is not like the way you are thinking, more over it's not a school, It is college, most of the people are excited for it, where they meet new faces. What's so bad about it?

"I am afraid mom ,I couldn't look at those faces. If I do so I could not speak and when I can't speak , my heart races like a race car as if it will come out of my mouth,if I utter a word", replies Naima

"Dear , you are over thinking, you should relax and go to bed for you have to catch bus early in the morning, moreover you don't know what future had for you, move forward, forget about that past and open the doors let the light come in dear, the world is not that cold as you think, you will know it, I pray you find warmth, just let it go."

" I don't want to hold it either but I cannot delete that phase of my life, I still keep reminding myself, asking myself, why? Why she left without a word, not even a good bye mom, is this how things go between friends, Am I not a good friend that I don't deserve a Goodbye. It was my birthday mom, we decided to distribute chocolates... I waited mom... That I no longer wait , I hate waiting"After saying this she got silent, putting her head on her mother's lap her mother slowly patting her head.
Suddenly Naima rises, no expression 😶in her face ,"oh! wait we were talking about tomorrow why suddenly topic changed." Her mother puzzled on sudden change of mood of her daughter exclaimed , Just sleep! Your brain need rest! have mercy on it ... I shall go and check if the dress is ironed or not " pretending not to hear Naima who is crying, " Mother.... listen... I have got...
Maa! ..., Listen na! "
Naima stared at her mother's back until it disappeared n her slowly fading voice asking Naima to turn off the lights n sleep.
(To herself)
"I don't like it that place which I will vist tomorrow. Can't we have the classes in schools only.Why there have be a seperate institutions? oh! how will I face the crowd ? what will they ask me? will I be able to answer them, Oh no! How do I introduce myself... All I know is hide and escape... all this time, I escaped such situations but that place where will I go? what will I do? Moreover it is too far from my place ,the next city. oh no!
(Praying)
😖 Please ! Make the college disappear from the face of the earth... please! please! "

Unware nothing could stop that happening, she is bound to go there and nothing could stop it from taking place.
Her childhood never took leave from her life... She doesn't accept changes.Trauma fixate individuals. She was a victim too, she still recolles it that incident and ask her self why her best friend left, what was the reason of sudden disappearance without saying, "good bye."

Can you imagine how life would be when there is no one you could find to share smiles with, go gossiping about, she waited but never found any answers that this question keep ringing in her life...she failed to accept changes , locked everything inside her, not a single conversation she has with anyone that now she feels difficult to talk....orbegin a conversation.This bottled up emotions , how will this find a way to expression...letting Naima to feel the warmth...outside her cold isolated castle... where she has locked herself.

(To be continued. )




© Rubina Ahmed