give two fucks if u understand, give two fucks if u accept who I am, ain't really losing sleep over the fact not one of y'all give a damn, a few people I love have died and the most recent one the girl I did EVERYTHING first with from running way to doing heavy drugs to fuckiing to breaking to manipulating ND trifling, u name it we did it ALL FIRSTS together every threesome together now she gone a little under a month oct19 she was found in an abandoned building telephone wire (not even sure what kind my mind goes crazy thinking) wrapped around her neck continuesly she dropped her daughter off at school and never made it to pick her up, we still haven't had a funeral because cops are still investigating and they don't know if she was murdered or committed suicide now just one Monday the 7th of November I had some drinks for my tooth ache got a little emotional and woke up in the hospital at one am last I remember was speaking to hotel manager about Heidi and crying said I was going for a walk that was 650pm I wake up sore head confused msgd everyone my kids were the only ones to reply and say u was found passed out somewhere, I KNOW that is not me I can't hit the top of my head and knock myseld out none the less everyone tried to convince me maybe I went to stand up my sister says I was doing hand stands and fell like ummm ok I was in Fuckiin tears about my dead friend and wanting answers none the less as I mentioned I was speaking to manager at hotel I live in emergency accomadation with my 7 kids so for my funding to continue I had to go to the doctors on the Wednesday and prove I wasn't a danger to my kids or myself I did that I am funded until Monday 10am requirements are in place none the less I was like Fuck it kids let's go out for dinner this is now Wednesday night as kids get ready I'm going through my emails house applications blah blah I come across emails from my lockwatch app someone has tried to unlock my phone at 656pm 7th of Nov (the night I woke up in hospital) I open them and in shocked and disturbed to find what I see 😭 I see a man I don't know he has me under his left arm my blonde hair is just above his arm 😭 then there is 20secs recording a car or a motorbike starting and nothing else 😭 I was found 6 mins up from my hotel I still don't know exactly where but I have injuries that indicate foul play still got the injuries scratches down my belly to my shorts where my top button is broken I am now freaking out the kids are read to go but I need to speak to manager about the other night first and I broke down and my kids father the love of mY fuxkiin life heard it and he later called police for me where me and the manager passed on what happened now this guy happened to be in my hotel has since been kicked out but it's now Sunday and I have a fat lip and it's split from the love of my life actually for the first time ever punching me in the face he says I've gone crazy but NOT ONE person has asked how I feel why cos it was me right I am imagine shit I was drunk I did this NO I FUCKIN DIDNT AND to make it worse the clothes I wore I put in a bag and I have just realised I may have thrown them away cos I mistakeit for rubbish, 😭😭😭😭 I got nothing the hospital didn't even take my bloods that night and the fact I still blew . 126 when I woke up at one one am goes against me I know he did something and manager heard him bragging saying he had me with his friends in balaclavas 😭 noone cares though not ONE FUXKIIN PERSON I don't know what happened to me I take pride in only have 4 dicks in me I'm 33 in Dec now I don't know what's happened to me and I'm a wreck but NOT ONE PERSON CARES IM NOT CRAZY MAYBE I AM COS I AM HURTING PAIN CHANGED ME IT WOULD YOU TOO my kids didn't even get to go out that night I'm done with all this bad luck when is it our turn to have a good run
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