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" You don't feel like a stranger to me. "
The day you left I walked back home inside my thoughts. I looked at the Christmas lights the same way I did when we saw them together for the first time; walking around strangers, intertwining fingers on the beach, or holding hands on a cold bench right where we had our first kiss — being all these places as unimportant as the souls who crowded the avenue that same day with their noisy feet, but perhaps that now, they remain meaningful to me, and only I have known why.
The day you left I stayed awake for quite a long time. I waited for the clock to make a sound, some cracking noise that could make me crawl back to you or bring me back to bed and cause me some sleep. I couldn't close my eyes as I realized you were leaving far away, far from me and all the places you have been. Sometimes I think about our last goodbye, how your hair looked perfect and how the gap between your upper teeth has always been so special, how, as you asked If I wanted to say something before we parted ways, my legs remained stuck on the ground, as if not letting me walk away and leave you behind.
I know our last hug will never grow silent, not if I can remember it, not if I can write about it. There is certainly some indefinite yearning about these days and its charming weather, under the sleepy sun and quiet night, between you and your kisses on the top of my eyes, crossing the line between reality and heaven.
Since the day you left, there has been something strange inside my soul, I don’t know what it is, but I feel it upon me, guarding me like a firefly at night. I am completely terrified of my thoughts, but not as much as how you made me feel; how you made me shiver with every bit of your touch, how I still remember every attribute of your clothes, the ones you wore and offered me gently to put on after. Everything is in my head now, in my breath, in my bones; and I feel it intensely, like a knife pierced in my heart.
How do you feel? I wonder — my restless body aims to find yours. You will always have a piece of my soul, a part of me that I will never know. I never embraced the reality of your leaving, I stood still right underneath your sheets, in the fantasy of your heaven, belonging only to you.
© isatbythesea on Instagram ♡
The day you left I stayed awake for quite a long time. I waited for the clock to make a sound, some cracking noise that could make me crawl back to you or bring me back to bed and cause me some sleep. I couldn't close my eyes as I realized you were leaving far away, far from me and all the places you have been. Sometimes I think about our last goodbye, how your hair looked perfect and how the gap between your upper teeth has always been so special, how, as you asked If I wanted to say something before we parted ways, my legs remained stuck on the ground, as if not letting me walk away and leave you behind.
I know our last hug will never grow silent, not if I can remember it, not if I can write about it. There is certainly some indefinite yearning about these days and its charming weather, under the sleepy sun and quiet night, between you and your kisses on the top of my eyes, crossing the line between reality and heaven.
Since the day you left, there has been something strange inside my soul, I don’t know what it is, but I feel it upon me, guarding me like a firefly at night. I am completely terrified of my thoughts, but not as much as how you made me feel; how you made me shiver with every bit of your touch, how I still remember every attribute of your clothes, the ones you wore and offered me gently to put on after. Everything is in my head now, in my breath, in my bones; and I feel it intensely, like a knife pierced in my heart.
How do you feel? I wonder — my restless body aims to find yours. You will always have a piece of my soul, a part of me that I will never know. I never embraced the reality of your leaving, I stood still right underneath your sheets, in the fantasy of your heaven, belonging only to you.
© isatbythesea on Instagram ♡
