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Alone in the crowd
Have you ever felt alone in the crowd? Like you are among your family,peers or at work yet you feel lonely? Loneliness is what I, Kifayah Abodunrin feel right now. It's another end of the week and my colleagues are all eager to go home to have a great weekend with their respective families. Even the singles aren't left out,they will either have a great weekend with their friends or lovers. But in my case,I am lonely,not that I am not married yet in fact my marriage is over a decade but I had a misunderstanding with my zawj,so he left home to meet his second family. This Friday makes it 3 months since I last saw my husband,we only communicated through the phone. Wondering what the issue might be?
We have been married for 12 years without an offspring,a lot of family pressure and a stigma I badly want to erase. My husband married his second wife after 5 years of waiting,but as a woman can I possibly resolve to marry another man,no, that's the challenges we women face in a childless marriage not to talk of the stereotypical belief that the problem of being childless lies within the woman. Series of tests we run medical certifies we are both okay and fertile,so we have nothing to worry about. My husband already has 3 sons with his second wife. What could be the problem? Allah knows. Am a woman of faith,I can't probably call myself barren,NO, I speak with positivity. During an argument with my zawj 3 months ago,he annoyingly abused me with my predicament,calling me barren.I knew it was out of annoyance,he realized he overdid it and decided to leave,I think the break was necessary though.
Lost in thought as I drove home,I got home,took a shower and prepared something light for dinner. After observing the 5th solaat for the day, I was so depressed,I am an orphan,so no parents to spend time with,all my 5 siblings are out of the country,I don't keep friends,so no one to call,I decided to surf the internet.
On opening my Twitter account,I was welcomed with sister Zulaikha's poem on a New Dawn.I was captivated by the poem cause it's exactly what I needed at the moment. I decided to seek solace in her so I messaged her and fortunately she was online. I told her my appreciation about the poem and stated my intention about wanting to seek solace. She was glad I found her worthy of being a confidant so she asked me to proceed,I told her my story and she was moved,she appreciated me for being so strong, going through the tough moment alone with no friends and close relative,she said she understood why depression is setting in probably because my husband also drift away at the time he was suppose to be the confidant. A Lot of women would have resolved to go into shirk forgetting it's only Almighty Allah that can bless one with the gift of womb.
Remember the story of Saarat(prophet Ibrahim's(AS) wife) who was tagged barren until her old age before she was blessed with prophet Isiaq(AS). Allah knocked on her door when it was her time. Maybe it isn't your time yet, perhaps you might have a child now And later lose it,which would be so painful.Allah knows the perfect time to grant our heart desires,we only need to trust Him wholeheartedly. He stated In Quran (2:153) that "seek help in patience and Prayers as He is with those that are patient” how often do you observe Tahajjud? She asked me,I said maybe during Ramadan,she laughed on the other end of the call,that shows how weak your request is. When you badly need something from Allah,you intensify your prayers,wake up in the early hours of the day, preferably 3 hours earlier before the Subhi prayer and cry to Allah in your sujud as it will be a direct conversation between you and your Robb. I was so moved by her therapy and I promised her to implement her advice, and we ended the conversation after she promised to regularly check up on me.
I began the observation of Tahajud and I was glad to do it as it gave me a source of Solace.I felt renewed and I was beginning to slightly forget my worries with the hope that Allah will definitely knock on my door soon.
My husband came home the next weekend with a visa for 2 to go on a month-long vacation to the Maldives. I was so overwhelmed by the gesture because I think I actually needed it,I asked if ummu Bilal,my junior wife would be cool with it and he said yes,why wouldn't she be though, after all she has been with him for the past few months.
We went and I honestly had a great time with hubby. We rekindled our love and had a great vacation, on our way back,I began to feel a strange development in my body,I was so worried about falling sick because I need to resume back to work. Hubby decided to take me to the hospital the day after we arrived. We got there and was asked to run some test, while awaiting the test results,we saw a couple having an argument about giving birth to too many children,the husband was accusing the wife of being a pig while the wife was giving it back to him for being a he-goat,in as much as I wanted to laugh at their display,I couldn't help but wonder how mysterious God is,He his indeed unquestionably,here I am pleading him for the gift of womb while some people are saying they have too much because they just had their 8th child. Hubby and I were called in for the outcome of our results. I was told it's a PREGNANCY symptoms,I just couldn't believe it. So the wait is almost over? Indeed this is a great news.
I couldn't wait to get home and give my Sujud shukran. So I will be becoming a mom in a few months. My Husband is also full of bliss,his 1st love will also be giving him a child. Counting the road to 9 months was indeed the sweetest thing to do as a 1st mom,I just couldn't wait,the subsequent symptoms of pains that comes with pregnancy are nothing to endure for me as the excitement of expecting a child overpowered then,I did scan in my 7th month gone and was told they are in pairs. Isn't Allah indeed the most Merciful? Yes He is.
9 months journey ended with praise,I welcomed my two beautiful bundle of joy,I couldn't be more grateful. Indeed,Allah knows when best to answer our prayers,the journey of being childless has thought me alot, Making me know the best person to rely upon is Him, families might turn their backs, even your closest friends but Allah will never forsake His servant and in times of trial we should resolve to patience and pray to Him for help as He stated in Qur'an (2:45).
#StorywritinginIslam
We have been married for 12 years without an offspring,a lot of family pressure and a stigma I badly want to erase. My husband married his second wife after 5 years of waiting,but as a woman can I possibly resolve to marry another man,no, that's the challenges we women face in a childless marriage not to talk of the stereotypical belief that the problem of being childless lies within the woman. Series of tests we run medical certifies we are both okay and fertile,so we have nothing to worry about. My husband already has 3 sons with his second wife. What could be the problem? Allah knows. Am a woman of faith,I can't probably call myself barren,NO, I speak with positivity. During an argument with my zawj 3 months ago,he annoyingly abused me with my predicament,calling me barren.I knew it was out of annoyance,he realized he overdid it and decided to leave,I think the break was necessary though.
Lost in thought as I drove home,I got home,took a shower and prepared something light for dinner. After observing the 5th solaat for the day, I was so depressed,I am an orphan,so no parents to spend time with,all my 5 siblings are out of the country,I don't keep friends,so no one to call,I decided to surf the internet.
On opening my Twitter account,I was welcomed with sister Zulaikha's poem on a New Dawn.I was captivated by the poem cause it's exactly what I needed at the moment. I decided to seek solace in her so I messaged her and fortunately she was online. I told her my appreciation about the poem and stated my intention about wanting to seek solace. She was glad I found her worthy of being a confidant so she asked me to proceed,I told her my story and she was moved,she appreciated me for being so strong, going through the tough moment alone with no friends and close relative,she said she understood why depression is setting in probably because my husband also drift away at the time he was suppose to be the confidant. A Lot of women would have resolved to go into shirk forgetting it's only Almighty Allah that can bless one with the gift of womb.
Remember the story of Saarat(prophet Ibrahim's(AS) wife) who was tagged barren until her old age before she was blessed with prophet Isiaq(AS). Allah knocked on her door when it was her time. Maybe it isn't your time yet, perhaps you might have a child now And later lose it,which would be so painful.Allah knows the perfect time to grant our heart desires,we only need to trust Him wholeheartedly. He stated In Quran (2:153) that "seek help in patience and Prayers as He is with those that are patient” how often do you observe Tahajjud? She asked me,I said maybe during Ramadan,she laughed on the other end of the call,that shows how weak your request is. When you badly need something from Allah,you intensify your prayers,wake up in the early hours of the day, preferably 3 hours earlier before the Subhi prayer and cry to Allah in your sujud as it will be a direct conversation between you and your Robb. I was so moved by her therapy and I promised her to implement her advice, and we ended the conversation after she promised to regularly check up on me.
I began the observation of Tahajud and I was glad to do it as it gave me a source of Solace.I felt renewed and I was beginning to slightly forget my worries with the hope that Allah will definitely knock on my door soon.
My husband came home the next weekend with a visa for 2 to go on a month-long vacation to the Maldives. I was so overwhelmed by the gesture because I think I actually needed it,I asked if ummu Bilal,my junior wife would be cool with it and he said yes,why wouldn't she be though, after all she has been with him for the past few months.
We went and I honestly had a great time with hubby. We rekindled our love and had a great vacation, on our way back,I began to feel a strange development in my body,I was so worried about falling sick because I need to resume back to work. Hubby decided to take me to the hospital the day after we arrived. We got there and was asked to run some test, while awaiting the test results,we saw a couple having an argument about giving birth to too many children,the husband was accusing the wife of being a pig while the wife was giving it back to him for being a he-goat,in as much as I wanted to laugh at their display,I couldn't help but wonder how mysterious God is,He his indeed unquestionably,here I am pleading him for the gift of womb while some people are saying they have too much because they just had their 8th child. Hubby and I were called in for the outcome of our results. I was told it's a PREGNANCY symptoms,I just couldn't believe it. So the wait is almost over? Indeed this is a great news.
I couldn't wait to get home and give my Sujud shukran. So I will be becoming a mom in a few months. My Husband is also full of bliss,his 1st love will also be giving him a child. Counting the road to 9 months was indeed the sweetest thing to do as a 1st mom,I just couldn't wait,the subsequent symptoms of pains that comes with pregnancy are nothing to endure for me as the excitement of expecting a child overpowered then,I did scan in my 7th month gone and was told they are in pairs. Isn't Allah indeed the most Merciful? Yes He is.
9 months journey ended with praise,I welcomed my two beautiful bundle of joy,I couldn't be more grateful. Indeed,Allah knows when best to answer our prayers,the journey of being childless has thought me alot, Making me know the best person to rely upon is Him, families might turn their backs, even your closest friends but Allah will never forsake His servant and in times of trial we should resolve to patience and pray to Him for help as He stated in Qur'an (2:45).
#StorywritinginIslam
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