CHAPTER 1: PAINFULLY PERFECT GENTLEMAN
"And how exactly did that make you feel, Miss Adewaju?" There was a palpable moment of silence that was filled with so much tension, you could almost see it.
And for a while, I felt she wouldn't answer. Then starting with measured words, "Well, I don't know that I felt anything at that point, I guess I was just already numb-you know, from the previous ones, that I simply didn't care anymore…did I even still have a heart at that point? That was the only question on my mind. And I told you before, Adelaide would do. Staring at her for a moment, I could feel a smile coming on to my face and it ended in a light chuckle, this wasn't the first time she had told me to do away with the "depressing formalities" in her own words, but that wasn't going to work for a lot of reasons. Being a Therapist, I had seen a lot of people with diverse kinds of cases that had to be handled in unique ways and with the utmost focus and skill, and through it all, things had to be kept strictly professional. Yeah I know, you'd be surprised how far such minor details can take you down the road to losing your license. Not strictly because there was anything bad in getting on a first name basis, but then again, one thing usually leads to another, and that is dangerous in my line of work for obvious reasons.
"Okay, Miss Adelaide…"
"Just Adelaide" she said in a firm but at the same time, gentle voice. "Pardon me. So Adelaide, how many of these… "failed relationships" have you been in, so far? No offense, Adelaide, but if we are going to make any progress, this question has to be asked" I tried to gauge her emotions, but her eyes gave nothing away…however, you could still see that it was a topic that broke her, even as broken as she was. With a somewhat distant voice, she whispered under her breath "six" like she desperately wanted it to be a lie. "It's okay, if you need a minute" "No it's…I'm okay…I…I"
"Adelaide, look at me…it's alright, it's okay to feel the way you are feeling now, it's not something to be ashamed of. Just breathe…the only way out is through. You have to face these emotions, don't fight them, don't lock them away…okay?" She only gave me a brief nod of her head, I could see the unmistakable glint of restrained tears. "I'm okay…I'm okay."
"Alright. So, each time these relationships failed, did they care to tell you why they felt it couldn't work?"
"A few of them, yes, some just ghosted." "Would you care to share these reasons? You don't have to, if you don't want to, but it will help."
"...No, it's fine…it's alright. The first told me…that I was too clingy and that I was always paranoid…he said it wasn't going to work because I didn't trust him. Well, I actually found out, he had woman by the side who was pregnant for him at the time and she gave me proof of their relationship which was according to her, over 2 years. Our relationship was just a little over 3 years." "Okay."
"The second, told me I was too jealous and guarded, that I was trying to run his life because I was the one who was feeding and housing him at the time…so he left. I said I was done with relationships, but then I met him. At first, I shut him out completely, tried being really rude to him, anything to deter him from trying, but he just didn't give up. He bought me gifts, really expensive gifts and he didn't have much at the time. But it wasn't the gifts that eventually got me, it was his persistence and patience, that warmth in his eyes even when I was at my worst, that gentle voice…always relaxed and coolheaded. I took the leap of faith. I warmed up to him, he was my world, anywhere he was, I wanted to be and it was the same for him. But as time went on, we had fights. At first just those tiny "romantic" squabbles…something just changed about him, when I looked at those eyes, I couldn't find that warmth that made me feel secure. Then the fights got more frequent and more vicious.
During a particularly bad fight we had, he said that I was broken beyond repair and that he was done. I woke up the next day and he was gone…just gone. I tried looking for him at his apartment, asked all his friends…but he was just gone without a trace. I was completely shattered but I remember only one thought was on my mind; if even he could leave, then it must be true, I'm really broken…beyond repair." And I saw her shudder as her shoulders heaved, and didn't need to see her face that was now buried in her palms, to know she was crying. Everything within me screamed to let her finish, to be professional, but what I did that day set in motion, events that would quickly spiral out of control. As though I wasn't in control of my own body, I found myself rising from my seat and moving toward her. Coming to face level with her, I patted her shoulders lightly "That is not true Adelaide and you must realize that. From indications, he was a good man, but oftentimes, what is good might not be what is good for you. You are not broken, wounded maybe, but you are far more than that, some unfortunate events in your life don't define you. You are the one who decides who you are ''In my head, I screamed at myself to stop, but somehow I couldn't leave that spot. She slowly lifted up her head and stared into my eyes for what felt like an eternity. I felt a lump of tension in my throat that I couldn't push down, I felt I had crossed my line, obviously. When I opened my eyes again, I was frozen on the spot as I saw her lips pressed against mine, I didn't know how or when it happened, I only knew that it hit me in powerful shock waves. Without thinking, I pulled away and before I could get my thoughts together to form a coherent line of words, she ran out the door and all I could still do was to stand there and stare after her.

(To be continued)