(READ UNTIL THE VERY END)

I was in the fifth grade when I had my first crush. His name was Jake and he had the most dazzling blue eyes I had ever seen. They were like two sapphires shining in the sun. He was also the star of the soccer team and the class clown. He could make anyone laugh with his jokes and pranks. He once put a whoopee cushion on the teacher's chair and made the whole class erupt in laughter. I was head over heels.

One day, I decided to confess my feelings to him. I wrote him a note that said "I like you, do you like me? Check yes or no" and slipped it into his backpack during recess. I waited nervously for his reply, hoping he would check yes and make me the happiest girl in the world.

The next day, he came to school with a big smirk on his face. He walked up to me and handed me the note. I opened it excitedly, expecting to see a check mark next to yes. Instead, I saw a drawing of a stick figure with a huge nose and glasses, and the words "This is you" written above it. Next to it, there was another drawing of a stick figure with a crown and a cape, and the words "This is me" written below it. And then, in big letters, he had written "NO WAY! YOU'RE UGLY AND BORING!"

I felt a wave of humiliation and rage. How could he be so mean and rude? I looked up at him and saw him laughing with his friends, pointing at me and making fun of me. He even made a honking sound with his nose to mock me. I felt tears burning my eyes and ran away to the bathroom.

That was the day I learned that love sucks. And that Jake was a jerk.

I never forgot that note. It haunted me for years, making me insecure and self-conscious. It also made me hate Jake with a vengeance. I swore to myself that one day, I would get my revenge.

And I did.

Ten years later, I ran into him at a high school reunion. He had grown up to be a hunk, with a ripped body and a charming smile. He was also a successful lawyer, with a fancy car and a gorgeous girlfriend. He seemed to have it all.

He recognized me right away and came over to talk to me. He acted like nothing had happened between us, like we were old pals. He even complimented me on my appearance, saying I had grown up to be a stunning woman.

I smiled wickedly and pretended to be flattered. I acted like I was interested in him and his life. I asked him about his girlfriend, his job, his hobbies. He told me everything, without any doubt or caution.

He didn't know that I had done my homework. That I had stalked him online for months. That I had hacked into his email account and his bank account. That I had stolen his identity and ruined his credit score. That I had sent compromising photos of him to his boss and his girlfriend. That I had sabotaged his career and his relationship.

He didn't know that he was about to lose everything.

He didn't know that I was about to make him pay for what he did to me.

He didn't know that this was my revenge.

And it was hilarious.

I watched as his life crumbled before his eyes. His boss fired him for misconduct. His girlfriend dumped him for cheating on her. His car got repossessed by the bank. His friends turned their backs on him for being a liar.

He begged me for mercy, saying he was sorry for what he did to me in fifth grade. He said he liked me now, that he wanted to be with me.

I laughed in his face and showed him the note he gave me ten years ago.

I said "This is you" pointing at the stick figure with the huge nose and glasses.

I said "This is me" pointing at the stick figure with the crown and cape.

And then, in big letters, I wrote "NO WAY! YOU'RE PATHETIC AND DESPERATE!"

I handed him the note and walked away, leaving him alone and broken.

That was the day I learned that revenge is sweet...

Or so I thought.

As I walked away from Jake, feeling triumphant and satisfied, something strange happened.

The world around me started to fade away.

The people, the music, the lights... they all disappeared.

I felt myself falling into darkness.

I heard a loud beeping sound in my ears.

I opened my eyes and realized...

It was all a dream.

I was lying in my bed, staring at the ceiling.

The beeping sound was coming from my alarm clock.

It was time to get up and go to school.

I groaned and reached for the snooze button.

I looked at the calendar on my wall.

I was still a girl in the fifth grade.

All of it was A FUCKING DREAM!!

And that it was not hilarious at all.

In the end, I thought it was a hint from God that I must NOT confess to my one and only Jake.

... Maybe Jake was a jerk for real.

(My Jake)
© Jolly