Sunday October 1st, 2023

There’s a thought process as I reminisce back to the days when things seem a bit more clearer. Watching this romance multi-cultural film about going out of one’s comfort zone in pursuit of happiness appears to be surreal, yet at the same time an exciting journey. Although it has been weeks since my wife and I had a full conversation before she was admitted to the hospital. I became even more at peace with myself in accepting the hard truth. As much as I have made up my mind about our romantic relationship no longer in existence, I also believe she has also done the same. In her laying bed at the hospital after her brain surgery to remove a tumor no one could have suspected to be there, I began to wonder how lonely she must feel in that bed while holding things bundle up inside due to pride. Resentment and anger towards me being the biggest because she truly believed me to be unfaithful. She believed me to be the worst thing that has ever happened to her and I was yet another failed relationship in which no one truly cared for her. But even I know this isn’t true, yet deep down in the depths of my soul it does hurt to know she is in the state that she is in. I have attempted many things in order to see if there was anything left to salvage our marriage. I had hopes that we can work through it, but she refused therapy when I brought it up several times and even so over a year ago today before the cancer gotten worst. It was all before it had spread, but even before her diagnosis I had already made up my mind that things romantically speaking was something un repairable.

I learned so many things that I will forever be greatful for these last six years since the day my wife and I first met. Although she may never believe me, I do cherish many of the wonderful moments we had despite our differences. From the start I genuinely just wanted the life I envisioned in my head. A supportive partner, a best friend and lover, one that I would married and enjoy the simple things in life. Family gatherings in thanksgiving and Christmas along with fun celebrations in spooky events like Halloween. You know, the normal stuff. Now, I get that according to the Bible and many Christians Halloween isn’t something to be taken lightly as...