I really wanted to give up. I wished that I could just let go of things. It was not possible to not chase after her. It feels like there was not any freedom of choice. I do not believe in freedom, and yet I do. Twisted mentality. I already forgot her face. The only thing I remember is her name, Kassandra. How am I supposed to find someone who I do not know how she looks? My heart will know in the future. I have two sides of personality. One is as cold as winter wind. The other part still believes that there is something good in other people. Both parts collided in one single moment. I was in the dark cave for too long. I can't go crazy because I've been crazy too many times. If something is broken, you cannot break it many times. You can just destroy it more and more. In the end, a person turns into fairy dust. Not existing entity. Just a thing without personality. I remember how I got there. One night, my soul just broke apart. I have seen a picture of a happy family that I will never have. My consciousness changed. I locked myself in the cave, and I never wanted to see sunshine again.

© JustLap