I Just wanted everything to be over. I wanted to leave the funeral and go to bed,burry myself under the covers where no one could remind me how much losing him hurt.

"Am sorry i can't do this anymore-lindah. Loving you-well ,hinders everything because you mean something to me but it's not enough.It won't ever be enough…

"His last words taunted me,haunted me every other moment of my existence.
It just hurt so bad.

I was dressed in a silk black top , black pants and black boots. I went to the backyard and gazed at the open space .Why? I thought loving him would stop his plans,guess i was wrong and stupid. I could have done something more than being with him,would have convinced him to get help.

I thought he was getting better,getting happier, that being with me made life...