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THE SILENCE
Tears rolled down my cheeks...Eyes red and pale,lost in my thoughts,my world of DOOM! Sadness written all over my face,hands trembling with fear,body cold as ice, depression as an attire, all I said was DOOM! My world ended so fast I cried! I couldn't control the toraging anger of the one who put me into this mess. If only I could get a hold of him.
(Solemn music)
But no,he's nowhere to be found! I fixed my gaze far into the city as I looked through the glass window. If I had known! How I wish I had known! Sounds of screeching tires,high speed of the uncontrollable vehicle.Dad trying hard to stop the fast moving car. Mum screaming as I and my siblings screamed with fear and watched as our BMW car ran fast towards a red roller bus, emitting light rays from it's headlights. Dad stop! Stop! No!!!!!! Arghhhh!!!Boooooooommmmmm!!!!!!!
I blinked a little and watched then my eyes were shut and I lost conciousness. I passed out... Hey! How do you feel?as the female doctor stood beside my bed. I tried to sit properly as I was supported by mum's Sister. Where's my...(as I was cut in by the Doctor) I'm really sorry..we tried all our best but....My eyes bulged out as tears could be seen rolling down my cheeks. But what? We...mmmm..we lost them....
Nooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!
Jane! Jane!! Jane!!! As Phil tapped me on my shoulder. Oh!! Mmm.sorry Phil(as I came back from my thoughts)mm did you come a little while ago? I asked phil. Jane,where you lost in thoughts again?(as I stood up to reposition myself and sat upright in my office chair) Are you ok Jane? He asked again with a Stern look. Yeah...mmm.sure I'm owk! Well I'm just exhausted from the weekend,but I'll be fine!(I said with an assuring but not convincing voice)Ok,if you say so,and I'll be here if you need any help Phil said as he smiled and walked over to his desk. Ouch! What came over me I said to myself as I quickly got ready to leave the office.
(*********************)
I had lost my family to a fatal accident that I was the only survival. I had lost them barely few months after I was raped by own Dad. The thoughts of this weakened me and me weep more. I never opened up to tell my mum till the cold hands of death took her away. Here was I left with a forever scar that made me loose my womb,my pride,my dignity as a woman. I tried to get myself back but my everyday living made me come face to face with what reality has made my destiny look like. Can I get the pieces back? Can I move on? Can life change back things for me? No one to talk to,none to relate my problems with. My mum was always busy,had all the different business trips and events to attend to that she barely even saw or looked at the woman I was becoming. She never had time for us. I had to struggle taking care of my siblings all by myself from my little age which kept on. All I wanted to know about me as a lady was not related to me by my mum who should have been the closest to me. It was all Dad! Dad did everything for us, always there for us when we wanted him. He was singlehandedly raising us all by himself. I could remember the pains in his eyes and the sadness written all over his face. Until doom struck by the one who I cherished,the one I adored,the one I praised and loved deeply,my number one hero, My Dad! *. ***********************
I took a sip of the orange juice and rocked swiftly on my rocking chair as I received the cool breeze of nature. As I continued in my thoughts,I pictured moments of my darkest times,what changed my life forever.My dad will come from work tired and exhausted. I will prepare his meal and he will call me up in his room. I remember a fateful day where my dad asked that I keep him company. I obliged and sat down on the soft sofa. My dad sat beside me and placed his hand over my shoulder Asif to comfort me. He explained the issues with my mum and as I tried to comfort him,my dad forced me to kissing him. I was startled and quickly made way to leave as I couldn't scold him as my dad. My dad drew me back and pressed me down to the sofa and shouted saying I was inconsiderate and I was begging him to please let me go. All efforts I made seemed abortive and he tied up my hands and came over me heavily and then I couldn't resist his powerful grip. I kept on begging with tears in my eyes but my dad wasn't even paying attention like he was possessed by something. He torn out my clothes and the worst happened................
I wept so hard as I crawled out of my father's room with pains and agony,sadness. I couldn't believe what just happened,but it was all True!Blood flowing all over me as I rushed to the bathtub to clean up the mess. I tried to reach for my phone but I was too weak. I lay in the tub,in my own pool of blood before I got strength and tried controlling the flow. I dialed my mum's phone,Hello mum I said (with tears still flowing down my cheeks and a shaking voice) My mum quickly responded saying she would call back,I dropped the call with anger and that call was never returned. Days turned to weeks,weeks to months and the incident continued with a threatening word from Dad that made me never tell anyone until it began to affect my health. On this fateful day,I headed to the hospital to examine my health. Alas the result was enough for me to commit a suicide. But the assuring and comforting words from the doctor gave me a second thought that changed my perspective about life. He also advised I visit a counsellor and relay it to my mum,but the fear of Dad's threats held me back. I was dying in silence.......
I could never have a womb! I cried heavily and I decided to just kill myself because I thought of my past,and what my future will become.I will never make it again as I said to myself.
My dad decided to take me to a gynecologist in the nearby town that fateful day. He had lied to my mum and my siblings that we would be visiting a family friend. My mum never noticed my odd actions and behaviour. She never cared to ask because she thought everything was fine. Alas we headed for the road. As we journeyed,I was already making up my mind to finally tell my mum. I'm going to tell her I said with so much courage and strength. I can no longer suffer this unbearable pain,I will no longer die in silence.
I never knew it was my day of doom. My hopes were dashed away as the accident struck which made me loose them all. The worse had happened!!!! Where do I go from here? Where do I start from? Who will listen to me? How will I end? All this thoughts broke me down. It was all my fault I cried. If only I had destroyed my fears,If only I had broken the silence! My Silence cost me alot! Can I gain back my life? Is this the end of the road for me? Oh! If only.......If only I did what was right!
© All Rights Reserved
(Solemn music)
But no,he's nowhere to be found! I fixed my gaze far into the city as I looked through the glass window. If I had known! How I wish I had known! Sounds of screeching tires,high speed of the uncontrollable vehicle.Dad trying hard to stop the fast moving car. Mum screaming as I and my siblings screamed with fear and watched as our BMW car ran fast towards a red roller bus, emitting light rays from it's headlights. Dad stop! Stop! No!!!!!! Arghhhh!!!Boooooooommmmmm!!!!!!!
I blinked a little and watched then my eyes were shut and I lost conciousness. I passed out... Hey! How do you feel?as the female doctor stood beside my bed. I tried to sit properly as I was supported by mum's Sister. Where's my...(as I was cut in by the Doctor) I'm really sorry..we tried all our best but....My eyes bulged out as tears could be seen rolling down my cheeks. But what? We...mmmm..we lost them....
Nooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!
Jane! Jane!! Jane!!! As Phil tapped me on my shoulder. Oh!! Mmm.sorry Phil(as I came back from my thoughts)mm did you come a little while ago? I asked phil. Jane,where you lost in thoughts again?(as I stood up to reposition myself and sat upright in my office chair) Are you ok Jane? He asked again with a Stern look. Yeah...mmm.sure I'm owk! Well I'm just exhausted from the weekend,but I'll be fine!(I said with an assuring but not convincing voice)Ok,if you say so,and I'll be here if you need any help Phil said as he smiled and walked over to his desk. Ouch! What came over me I said to myself as I quickly got ready to leave the office.
(*********************)
I had lost my family to a fatal accident that I was the only survival. I had lost them barely few months after I was raped by own Dad. The thoughts of this weakened me and me weep more. I never opened up to tell my mum till the cold hands of death took her away. Here was I left with a forever scar that made me loose my womb,my pride,my dignity as a woman. I tried to get myself back but my everyday living made me come face to face with what reality has made my destiny look like. Can I get the pieces back? Can I move on? Can life change back things for me? No one to talk to,none to relate my problems with. My mum was always busy,had all the different business trips and events to attend to that she barely even saw or looked at the woman I was becoming. She never had time for us. I had to struggle taking care of my siblings all by myself from my little age which kept on. All I wanted to know about me as a lady was not related to me by my mum who should have been the closest to me. It was all Dad! Dad did everything for us, always there for us when we wanted him. He was singlehandedly raising us all by himself. I could remember the pains in his eyes and the sadness written all over his face. Until doom struck by the one who I cherished,the one I adored,the one I praised and loved deeply,my number one hero, My Dad! *. ***********************
I took a sip of the orange juice and rocked swiftly on my rocking chair as I received the cool breeze of nature. As I continued in my thoughts,I pictured moments of my darkest times,what changed my life forever.My dad will come from work tired and exhausted. I will prepare his meal and he will call me up in his room. I remember a fateful day where my dad asked that I keep him company. I obliged and sat down on the soft sofa. My dad sat beside me and placed his hand over my shoulder Asif to comfort me. He explained the issues with my mum and as I tried to comfort him,my dad forced me to kissing him. I was startled and quickly made way to leave as I couldn't scold him as my dad. My dad drew me back and pressed me down to the sofa and shouted saying I was inconsiderate and I was begging him to please let me go. All efforts I made seemed abortive and he tied up my hands and came over me heavily and then I couldn't resist his powerful grip. I kept on begging with tears in my eyes but my dad wasn't even paying attention like he was possessed by something. He torn out my clothes and the worst happened................
I wept so hard as I crawled out of my father's room with pains and agony,sadness. I couldn't believe what just happened,but it was all True!Blood flowing all over me as I rushed to the bathtub to clean up the mess. I tried to reach for my phone but I was too weak. I lay in the tub,in my own pool of blood before I got strength and tried controlling the flow. I dialed my mum's phone,Hello mum I said (with tears still flowing down my cheeks and a shaking voice) My mum quickly responded saying she would call back,I dropped the call with anger and that call was never returned. Days turned to weeks,weeks to months and the incident continued with a threatening word from Dad that made me never tell anyone until it began to affect my health. On this fateful day,I headed to the hospital to examine my health. Alas the result was enough for me to commit a suicide. But the assuring and comforting words from the doctor gave me a second thought that changed my perspective about life. He also advised I visit a counsellor and relay it to my mum,but the fear of Dad's threats held me back. I was dying in silence.......
I could never have a womb! I cried heavily and I decided to just kill myself because I thought of my past,and what my future will become.I will never make it again as I said to myself.
My dad decided to take me to a gynecologist in the nearby town that fateful day. He had lied to my mum and my siblings that we would be visiting a family friend. My mum never noticed my odd actions and behaviour. She never cared to ask because she thought everything was fine. Alas we headed for the road. As we journeyed,I was already making up my mind to finally tell my mum. I'm going to tell her I said with so much courage and strength. I can no longer suffer this unbearable pain,I will no longer die in silence.
I never knew it was my day of doom. My hopes were dashed away as the accident struck which made me loose them all. The worse had happened!!!! Where do I go from here? Where do I start from? Who will listen to me? How will I end? All this thoughts broke me down. It was all my fault I cried. If only I had destroyed my fears,If only I had broken the silence! My Silence cost me alot! Can I gain back my life? Is this the end of the road for me? Oh! If only.......If only I did what was right!
© All Rights Reserved
