It had been six months since the accident. Katherine tried to go on. She tried to live as things has been before. Nothing was the same. She was not the person she had been a few seconds earlier.
She worked that day. She came home. She had dinner. Her phone rang. "hello." she said. "hi Katie it's matt. "he said. She did not expect him to call. She had not heard from him since they met at the coffee shop. She did not expect to. they were barely acquaintances. "I wanted to check in. "he said.
"I am ok. The nightmares have abated a bit. I still get anxious. I am doing better. The therapy is helping. "she told him. "good. I a glad. "he said.
"How are you doing? i want your real answer. I don't want the answer you tell everyone. "she said. "I am numb. I don't feel anything. It's like it's not me. It's like I am watching from afar." he said.


"We never really argued. It was petty stuff. It never lasted long. This is our first fight and our last. She knew what she was going to do that morning. She lied to me. she knew I would stop her. She pretended to be ok for a month. I found her diary. she had this all planned out. I can't look at her picture. I took down her pictures in my room. Left them up where the kids could see her. "he said.
"she had a mental illness. She wasn't herself. "she said ."I know that. I have not told anyone what I told you. "he said. "I am glad you feel like you can consider me. "she said.
"I am not angry with God. He does not interfere with our choices always. I believe that she is with him. He is the only place I can go. Did you share too much?" he asked. "no! I want the truth. "she said.
"Suicide is a selfish act. She was not like that. she was not selfish ever. Why chose this way to indulge in the flesh?" he asked.
"she thought she was doing the right thing. Mental illness does strange things. "she said. "I know that. I knew she did not intend to hurt me or the kids. "he said."she. Did not. The results are the same. It does hurt. "she said."yes it does. "he said.
"she was going through things she could not understand. She would not have hurt you or the kids intentionally. "she said.
"why did she not come to me? Why did she not trust me? Why did she deliberately deceive me? "he said. "I don't have those answers. To her, she believed her only answer was to leave this world. She was determined to do it. I have seen it before. "she said.
"I have too before. How are you doing with? all this?" he asked."I go from being mad at myself to be mad at myself, mad at her. Mad at mental illness. I was not mad at the lord. I agree with you that he does that which is right. He does not always stop the consequences of bad decisions. I go from sad to deeply spiritual to exhausted. "she said.
"I know what you mean. I have done it all myself," he said. They ended up talking for an hour. "I should let you go. I am. glad you called. It was good talking to you." she said. "I enjoyed talking to you as well. "he said. They said their goodbyes.
She considered what they had said. Their conversation went through her head. her mind went places that she did not want to go. she stopped herself.
It was a week later. she had worked. She came home. She had dinner. The phone rang. She wondered if it was matt. Sure enough, it was. "hello." she said. "hi Katie. I wanted to say hi and see how we're doing." he said. "I am doing good. It has been a good week. I still have difficulties with things but this week things went better. How are you?" she asked.
"I have some ups and downs. It has been a pretty good week. "he said."good. I am glad." she said. "how is work going?" he asked. "it's going good.