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I can't help but feel ashamed (JJBA)
(Although this is kind of a hurt/comfort kind of deal and not an erotica, I'm still giving this an ⚠️NSFW warning⚠️ due to the main subject)
This takes place in an AU where Yoshikage Kira really is just an ordinary, boring man.
Well, almost...
Yoshikage had certain interests and desires that some individuals may consider to be odd or, perhaps, bewhildering, and
maybe even disgusting...Of course, *he* didn't think of it this way at all. To him, it felt quite normal. There were a lot of average people out there who had desires you could call unusual. Could he really be much different? He truly didn't think of it as strange, however, Yoshikage certainly did have many negative feelings regarding his attration to hands.
Shame, mostly, was what plagued him. Not regarding the fact itself, but rather what it entailed. The issue with having such a strong attraction for something so unsexualized, was that he would have to come face to face with it every day in professional and public settings. He coudn't ignore what was in front of him, so he had to hide his interest. That was what made it so painfully embarrassing. How utterly shameful to be having dirty thoughts at times like those! And every day at that!
Being in public, whenever he was met with a situation where a particularly attractive set of hands were in front of him, Yoshikage all but prayed that attention wasn't drawn to himself as he fought his mind for focus and composure while willed himself not to show any signs of embarrassment or discomfort. He simply couldn't let himelf become flustered like that! He could just imagine his mortification if he were to be caught becoming aroused at the sight of a womans hands alone! He would be deemed a pervert and a creep for the rest of his life! It would be all that he was known for! He hated that idea more than anything...
Yoshikage dispised the undeniable fact that something so out of his control had lead to his daily life becoming so unnecessarily and annoyingly sexualized. He was really afraid. Afraid of the constant threat of unending humiliation. It had gotten to the point where, if he'd had a day where he'd struggled to surpress his arousal, or even worse, he had been forced to hide an unwanted erection, Yoshikage found himself rushing home like a dog with its tail between its legs and breaking down in tears as soon as he shut the door behind him. It was beyond embarrassing. If this whole thing could have any other label than it already did, he would bet his life savings on that label being, "curse," as that was what it was proving itself to be to him.
==============
Today, he sat at a table outside a diner, sipping some tea. Taking in how relaxed he was, Yoshikage smiled. He listened to the ambient chatter of people around him and the chirping of unseen birds as he watched the clouds travel through the sky, changing shape as they went along. The clouds always looked adorably soft, despite the fact that this simply wasn't the case due to their structure. He liked to imagine himself in an impossible, cartoonish scenareo, caressing a soft cumulus or falling into its fluffy embrace for a nap. He was soon torn from his pleasant thoughs when a passing woman, not paying attention to where she was going, somehow managed to bump into the seated Yoshikage, spilling some hot tea of her own over him. Yoshikage yelped at the heat, which luckily faded as soon as it hit him. The womans gasped, her face flushing as she feverishly spouted apologies. she set down her mug and purse on the table in front of him.
"I have a little towel. let me get some of that for you!"
That was when he saw them. Her delicate, soft hands. From what he could see, there wasn't a single scar or blemish on them. The knuckles had a soft pinkness to them as if blush had been applied there, and her nails were long and pointed, but well-filed and painted a glossy lilac polish. Due to the spontanious nature of the moment, Yoshikage became flustered, almost as much as the woman herself.
"I'm so sorry, sir...I should have been paying attention..." She gently patted his chest where the tea had soaked into his suit. Yoshikage felt his control slipping as heat rushed to his face. Such beautiful hands patting him dry with delicious elegance...He wrestled with his mind to shake his dirty thoughts.
"It's fine, really...I wasn't hurt and it is just tea, after all." he managed to speak rather calmly, all considered. This boosted his confidence in his control over the situation. this soon changed though, as the woman dabbed away at the little tea that had spilled onto the side of his face, holding the other side steady. Her hand was touching his face! A short nervous whimper escaped him. Her hands were so soft and warm that he had to fight the urge to bite his lip. He tried hard to control himself, but her touch on his cheek was just so soothing...It deeply exited him. He cringed at this.
The woman must have picked up on his discomfort, for she pulled away with a quick, "Sorry!" and stuffed her towel away with haste. She was about to say something else when Yoshikage noticed she had paused, looking down at something. He quickly caught on and realized, to his horror, what her eyes had been locked onto...How had he not notived!? Here he was in public, fully erect, and she had noticed it right away! Stunned with embarrassment, Yoshikage was unable to speak. He resorted to crossing a leg over the other and beding down so that his arm hid it further. His hand was stuck to his face as he sputtered, mortified.
"I-I- Don't- I-I'm s-sorry, I-!" his face was bright red and he'd begun to tremble. This was a nightmare! He was so embarrassed he could cry! he let out a pathetic whine and shrunk down into his seat. He badly wanted to disappear...A sudden contact on his shoulder made him flinch. it was the woman...
"It's ok! It's ok! I'm not upset! Here..."
Yoshikage slowly uncovered his face and watched as the woman removed her overcoat, draped it over his lap, and placed her purse over it, fully concealing his embarrassing hard-on. He uttered a timid 'thank you' and held the tables edge as she sat next to him.
"I...I know you're embarrassed, " the woman started cautiously, "but it' ok. I get it, so just...try to relax a little. I promise I don't think bad of you. I'm gonna stay here with you until this passes. I mean...I kinda owe you after spilling tea all over you..." she blushed a little as she remembered her blunder, "there's a magazine in my bag if that'll help..."
"I...really appreciate it...I can't help but feel ashamed...but really...thank you," Yoshikage took care as he opened the womans bag and retrieved the magazine. The woman sat patient and polite in wait, watching people pass on the sidewalk. A while passed before any of them spoke again.
"You alright?" the woman asked. She watched as the man before her sank deeper into the magazine and nearly mumbled his response of, "I'm...f-fine..." She could immediately tell that this wasn't working so well, "Want me to walk you home? You can hold my bag on the way." she offered.
"You'd do that for me?" Yoshikage looked up from the magazine, his expression displaying how vunerable he felt. The woman nodded, and so they did. The two were silent the way there, but it wasn't an awkward silence. It was respectful and understanding. When they made it to his front door he returned her bag, "Thank you, greatly...I was...really afraid..." Yoshikage admitted. The woman flashed a sympathetic smile and simply responded with, "no problem," before turning and heading on her way.
This takes place in an AU where Yoshikage Kira really is just an ordinary, boring man.
Well, almost...
Yoshikage had certain interests and desires that some individuals may consider to be odd or, perhaps, bewhildering, and
maybe even disgusting...Of course, *he* didn't think of it this way at all. To him, it felt quite normal. There were a lot of average people out there who had desires you could call unusual. Could he really be much different? He truly didn't think of it as strange, however, Yoshikage certainly did have many negative feelings regarding his attration to hands.
Shame, mostly, was what plagued him. Not regarding the fact itself, but rather what it entailed. The issue with having such a strong attraction for something so unsexualized, was that he would have to come face to face with it every day in professional and public settings. He coudn't ignore what was in front of him, so he had to hide his interest. That was what made it so painfully embarrassing. How utterly shameful to be having dirty thoughts at times like those! And every day at that!
Being in public, whenever he was met with a situation where a particularly attractive set of hands were in front of him, Yoshikage all but prayed that attention wasn't drawn to himself as he fought his mind for focus and composure while willed himself not to show any signs of embarrassment or discomfort. He simply couldn't let himelf become flustered like that! He could just imagine his mortification if he were to be caught becoming aroused at the sight of a womans hands alone! He would be deemed a pervert and a creep for the rest of his life! It would be all that he was known for! He hated that idea more than anything...
Yoshikage dispised the undeniable fact that something so out of his control had lead to his daily life becoming so unnecessarily and annoyingly sexualized. He was really afraid. Afraid of the constant threat of unending humiliation. It had gotten to the point where, if he'd had a day where he'd struggled to surpress his arousal, or even worse, he had been forced to hide an unwanted erection, Yoshikage found himself rushing home like a dog with its tail between its legs and breaking down in tears as soon as he shut the door behind him. It was beyond embarrassing. If this whole thing could have any other label than it already did, he would bet his life savings on that label being, "curse," as that was what it was proving itself to be to him.
==============
Today, he sat at a table outside a diner, sipping some tea. Taking in how relaxed he was, Yoshikage smiled. He listened to the ambient chatter of people around him and the chirping of unseen birds as he watched the clouds travel through the sky, changing shape as they went along. The clouds always looked adorably soft, despite the fact that this simply wasn't the case due to their structure. He liked to imagine himself in an impossible, cartoonish scenareo, caressing a soft cumulus or falling into its fluffy embrace for a nap. He was soon torn from his pleasant thoughs when a passing woman, not paying attention to where she was going, somehow managed to bump into the seated Yoshikage, spilling some hot tea of her own over him. Yoshikage yelped at the heat, which luckily faded as soon as it hit him. The womans gasped, her face flushing as she feverishly spouted apologies. she set down her mug and purse on the table in front of him.
"I have a little towel. let me get some of that for you!"
That was when he saw them. Her delicate, soft hands. From what he could see, there wasn't a single scar or blemish on them. The knuckles had a soft pinkness to them as if blush had been applied there, and her nails were long and pointed, but well-filed and painted a glossy lilac polish. Due to the spontanious nature of the moment, Yoshikage became flustered, almost as much as the woman herself.
"I'm so sorry, sir...I should have been paying attention..." She gently patted his chest where the tea had soaked into his suit. Yoshikage felt his control slipping as heat rushed to his face. Such beautiful hands patting him dry with delicious elegance...He wrestled with his mind to shake his dirty thoughts.
"It's fine, really...I wasn't hurt and it is just tea, after all." he managed to speak rather calmly, all considered. This boosted his confidence in his control over the situation. this soon changed though, as the woman dabbed away at the little tea that had spilled onto the side of his face, holding the other side steady. Her hand was touching his face! A short nervous whimper escaped him. Her hands were so soft and warm that he had to fight the urge to bite his lip. He tried hard to control himself, but her touch on his cheek was just so soothing...It deeply exited him. He cringed at this.
The woman must have picked up on his discomfort, for she pulled away with a quick, "Sorry!" and stuffed her towel away with haste. She was about to say something else when Yoshikage noticed she had paused, looking down at something. He quickly caught on and realized, to his horror, what her eyes had been locked onto...How had he not notived!? Here he was in public, fully erect, and she had noticed it right away! Stunned with embarrassment, Yoshikage was unable to speak. He resorted to crossing a leg over the other and beding down so that his arm hid it further. His hand was stuck to his face as he sputtered, mortified.
"I-I- Don't- I-I'm s-sorry, I-!" his face was bright red and he'd begun to tremble. This was a nightmare! He was so embarrassed he could cry! he let out a pathetic whine and shrunk down into his seat. He badly wanted to disappear...A sudden contact on his shoulder made him flinch. it was the woman...
"It's ok! It's ok! I'm not upset! Here..."
Yoshikage slowly uncovered his face and watched as the woman removed her overcoat, draped it over his lap, and placed her purse over it, fully concealing his embarrassing hard-on. He uttered a timid 'thank you' and held the tables edge as she sat next to him.
"I...I know you're embarrassed, " the woman started cautiously, "but it' ok. I get it, so just...try to relax a little. I promise I don't think bad of you. I'm gonna stay here with you until this passes. I mean...I kinda owe you after spilling tea all over you..." she blushed a little as she remembered her blunder, "there's a magazine in my bag if that'll help..."
"I...really appreciate it...I can't help but feel ashamed...but really...thank you," Yoshikage took care as he opened the womans bag and retrieved the magazine. The woman sat patient and polite in wait, watching people pass on the sidewalk. A while passed before any of them spoke again.
"You alright?" the woman asked. She watched as the man before her sank deeper into the magazine and nearly mumbled his response of, "I'm...f-fine..." She could immediately tell that this wasn't working so well, "Want me to walk you home? You can hold my bag on the way." she offered.
"You'd do that for me?" Yoshikage looked up from the magazine, his expression displaying how vunerable he felt. The woman nodded, and so they did. The two were silent the way there, but it wasn't an awkward silence. It was respectful and understanding. When they made it to his front door he returned her bag, "Thank you, greatly...I was...really afraid..." Yoshikage admitted. The woman flashed a sympathetic smile and simply responded with, "no problem," before turning and heading on her way.
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