3 views
My little wins
If you are a student, you will agree with me that you can't be a student without experiencing these two things, scarcity of Money and Stress.
But if you haven't, then I envy you.
In 2019, Asuu decided to make me a final year student for two years, and Covid19 helped him achieve that...
During the long strike and Pandemic, Chike and I decided to learn a skill.
Chike went for fashion designing, and I ventured into the Catering business.
It somehow kept us company, chike was doing well and learning fast but I, on the other hand, felt reluctant about mine.
I already knew 40% about the catering business, all I wanted to was to perfect my skills, but it all seemed like I was wasting my time since all they teach were things I knew already.
I told Chike about how I wasn't benefiting from the lessons I paid for, and all he could say was to be patient, and it felt so unfair because he was gaining something from his, that was why he made the word "Patience" sound so easy.
I needed money so bad that I opted to plan B, I had this coursemate that had so much and spend lavishly...
I never noticed him or asked for his help back on campus and I swore not to, but the situation of things humbled me.
Kingsley is one open mouth that knows how to keep secrets so well, he is so secretive that he told everyone on campus how he lent money to our course rep for his mother's surgery and would always remind him of it when he doesn't do his bidding, that was why I always placed him on arm's length.
Fast forward to December 2019, I called Kingsley and told him I wanted us to meet, he agreed to meet me. We talked about so many business ideas and I found out that aside from his bad sides that he was knowledgeable when it comes to business.
So he's good at what he does...
He introduced me to so many businesses but I wasn't profiting from any of them, and at a point, I became very angry at myself...
I cursed myself every day, and sometimes question God's promises over my life.
In 2020, I was already dinning with depression, I had suicidal thoughts...
The feeling that I wasn't enough ate me real deep, I could only see other people's success and just my flaws.
But to the outside world, I was the happiest, I would attend business seminars, and jump into new business proposals, to people I was making big.
However, inside of me, I had already given up. I was now looking for the perfect time to end everything.
On April 9th, I decided to meet my creator and maybe from hell ask him why he chose to make my life miserable. And that's when I heard this voice, more like a whisper...
It was calm and it brought sudden peace to my soul, and he said "why not give yourself a cup of juice?".
I pondered so hard on what those words meant, but the answers I seek were not forthcoming, and then I thought I have finally lost it. But then, I heard it again, this time loud and clear.
" Give yourself a cup of juice"
So I went in and poured myself a glass of orange juice...
Then, the voice asked me how I felt, I said I was okay. I began to have a conversation with this strange voice and I found out that what he meant was I should appreciate myself more.
I felt relieved after a nice glass of juice, then imagine how I would feel when I appreciate myself for my little efforts.
**************************************************
Now listen, no situation is worth your life.
It may seem like the end no but sometimes appreciate your efforts. Learn to pat yourself on the back and say, "I did well".
Learn to see the efforts than just seeing your flaws, just like I did.
The problem wasn't that I wasn't thriving to be the best version of myself but the problem was that I kept measuring my success with that of others, thereby limiting myself from seeing the accomplishments that I have made so far.
So, Sometimes, pour yourself a glass of wine and celebrate your little wins.
No problem is worth your precious life.
© Joyce Godswill
But if you haven't, then I envy you.
In 2019, Asuu decided to make me a final year student for two years, and Covid19 helped him achieve that...
During the long strike and Pandemic, Chike and I decided to learn a skill.
Chike went for fashion designing, and I ventured into the Catering business.
It somehow kept us company, chike was doing well and learning fast but I, on the other hand, felt reluctant about mine.
I already knew 40% about the catering business, all I wanted to was to perfect my skills, but it all seemed like I was wasting my time since all they teach were things I knew already.
I told Chike about how I wasn't benefiting from the lessons I paid for, and all he could say was to be patient, and it felt so unfair because he was gaining something from his, that was why he made the word "Patience" sound so easy.
I needed money so bad that I opted to plan B, I had this coursemate that had so much and spend lavishly...
I never noticed him or asked for his help back on campus and I swore not to, but the situation of things humbled me.
Kingsley is one open mouth that knows how to keep secrets so well, he is so secretive that he told everyone on campus how he lent money to our course rep for his mother's surgery and would always remind him of it when he doesn't do his bidding, that was why I always placed him on arm's length.
Fast forward to December 2019, I called Kingsley and told him I wanted us to meet, he agreed to meet me. We talked about so many business ideas and I found out that aside from his bad sides that he was knowledgeable when it comes to business.
So he's good at what he does...
He introduced me to so many businesses but I wasn't profiting from any of them, and at a point, I became very angry at myself...
I cursed myself every day, and sometimes question God's promises over my life.
In 2020, I was already dinning with depression, I had suicidal thoughts...
The feeling that I wasn't enough ate me real deep, I could only see other people's success and just my flaws.
But to the outside world, I was the happiest, I would attend business seminars, and jump into new business proposals, to people I was making big.
However, inside of me, I had already given up. I was now looking for the perfect time to end everything.
On April 9th, I decided to meet my creator and maybe from hell ask him why he chose to make my life miserable. And that's when I heard this voice, more like a whisper...
It was calm and it brought sudden peace to my soul, and he said "why not give yourself a cup of juice?".
I pondered so hard on what those words meant, but the answers I seek were not forthcoming, and then I thought I have finally lost it. But then, I heard it again, this time loud and clear.
" Give yourself a cup of juice"
So I went in and poured myself a glass of orange juice...
Then, the voice asked me how I felt, I said I was okay. I began to have a conversation with this strange voice and I found out that what he meant was I should appreciate myself more.
I felt relieved after a nice glass of juice, then imagine how I would feel when I appreciate myself for my little efforts.
**************************************************
Now listen, no situation is worth your life.
It may seem like the end no but sometimes appreciate your efforts. Learn to pat yourself on the back and say, "I did well".
Learn to see the efforts than just seeing your flaws, just like I did.
The problem wasn't that I wasn't thriving to be the best version of myself but the problem was that I kept measuring my success with that of others, thereby limiting myself from seeing the accomplishments that I have made so far.
So, Sometimes, pour yourself a glass of wine and celebrate your little wins.
No problem is worth your precious life.
© Joyce Godswill
