Jack takes a sharp inhale, startled by his ringing cell phone. With one eye he checks the time. 3:32am. Though lead weighs his arms he fights off the comfort of sleep, answers the phone knowing full well how the rest of his night would go.

"Babe? Babe! Hello?"
"Ya-ya I'm here, everything ok?" Jack asks sitting himself up and rubbing his eyes.

"I don't want to be here anymore. I want to be in bed next to you, please come get me?"

Jack paused. "Debra, I have to be up in 2 hours to go to work. Can you call an Uber?"

"God, you will never do anything I ask will you? Do you not want me to come home, is that it?"

"Honey no but think, I'll have to wake Eli up, get him dressed in a car seat to even come get you. Babe please it will be easier if you just called an Uber."

"No! Jesus, for once Jack just do what I ask and come get me. I want to be home!" Debra screamed before disconnecting the line.
Jack dropped his phone, burying his face into his pillow. Struggling to leave his warm bed he managed getting dressed before tiptoeing to Eli's room.
Ever so slowly he lifts his near perfect two year old into his arms, glides him out the door and into the nights fresh air.
In the car, Jack fumbles with the car seat buckles and Eli begins to stir.
Without skipping a beat, Jack shushes and brushes his ever so light blonde hair, looking into his sleepy brown eyes that mirrored his mother's, coaxing little Eli back to sleep.
Jack gets in the car, and starts it. Rubbing his eyes once more before putting it in gear.
…..

As he pulls up to the party house of the week, it is clear the party was far from dying. Yet only one person was outside.
Sitting on the porch was Samantha, an old crush of Jack's. He tried to court her a few years ago but he could not push her fiery stubbornness in his favor. Back then he just wanted to get closer to her. Show her how good she could have it. So Jack courted Samantha's best friend, but still trying to find an edge to Samantha's heart. Ultimately it backfired, so after he broke off his half hearted relationship he tried once more to convince Samantha, more blunt this time. In the end she politely rejected him.
That was all before Debra, exactly one month before.

Jack looked at Samantha, engrossed in her phone and cigarette. He let his mind wander a moment on the 'what ifs' before shaking the thought from his head.
I will not be my father. Jack thought. Then checked his phone to see if Debra had responded, she had not. Samantha looked up from her phone and smiled, recognizing the car, she half swaying her way over to the front of the lawn.
Jack unbuckled and jumped out of the car, quietly closing his door.
With open arms Samantha hugs Jack and says, "Jack! It's so good to see you! How have you been?"
"Oh you know wife, kid, job I'm just living the dream." Jack replied returning her hug.
"I bet! Look how far you've come I'm happy for you man, but hey we miss you! Get a babysitter and come over with Debra one of these nights!" Samantha slurred excitedly.
"I would most definitely like to do that."
Jack and Sam continued with small talk until the front door flew open. Debra stood teetering on the door frame before finding her footing then came staggering down to Jack and Sam.
"Why are you not in the car with our child?!" She sneered at Jack pushing a drunk finger into his chest.
"Oh that's my bad I wanted to say hi but I'm drunk and loud, he came out so I didn't wake up Eli. You ok Debra? Did you drink that cup of water?" Samantha chimed in.
"I'm good Sam, thanks for everything, love you see you next time!" Debra replied hastily before leaning heavily into Jack, pushing him towards the car.
"Love you guys too, be safe! Again it was good to see you Jack! You should bring him with you next time Debra."
Debra did not turn just put a hand up as a wave of recognition as she pushed Jack and herself to the car. Jack helped her in then turned to wave, before settling in the car himself.
Jack rubbed his eyes and then looked at Debra, who was glaring out the window half slumped over onto her arm, which rested heavily on the door.
Jack thought about saying something but instead pulled the car out and drove home.

…..

After getting Eli back into bed, Jack walked into his room to find Debra fast asleep. He looked at the time, 4:23am. His alarm had been set for 5am.
He turned around and headed for the shower.

Jack stands head hung low as the water melts the grogginess from his muscles. He thinks of how kind Debra had been after he had his heartache for Samantha. He remembers how he liked her laugh and quick mean wit. It was similar to Samantha's. He liked her head strong personality and the strength and comfort she gave him. He needed her for the moment, to get through the transitions of grief, and it worked for some time. Until four months into dating, Debra got pregnant.
Both being a fresh year out of highschool, and Jack not wanting to be like his father, who abandoned him and his mother, proposed right after she told him the news. Their shotgun wedding was full of hope. Hope that they together could figure it all out, and make it work. He didn't account for the post-partum depression or how bad it had hit Debra. Nor the fact that she was more interested in being a party animal than being a full time mother. She was a good mother whenever she was around Eli. Or more she did the motions well, especially when people where around. Yet rarely does she chose to spend free time with him. The weekends belonged to her and her alone. Jack at one point did speak up loudly, assertively trying to set boundaries. Fighting her fire with his own. At the time he didn't think that having to tell the mother of his child, she can't go out every weekend, would result with her blackening his left eye. He touched the still tender bruise.
Her anger is almost as potent as her paranoia. She has all the passwords and access to all his accounts and the ability to monitor them daily. Jack felt more like a slave than a husband. But for him leaving would never be an option. My son will have better, I will be the dad I never had and I will never abandon my family.

Jack cranked the heat of the shower up. As he analyzes the previous two years since that day he walked down the aisle. The day he said I do, was the day he was learning to regret. Which he hated himself for.

Jack emerges from the shower and goes back to his room to dress. Only to find Debra awake. His phone held tightly in her hands.
"Babe why aren't you sleeping?" Jack asks, nervous tension drawn tight in his voice.
"I just went through your search history on Facebook, you know what I found?"
"No?" Jack said taking a step back after putting on pants.
"You look up Sam's profile almost every day! Are you mentally cheating on me?!" Debra's yell taking her to her feet. "Are you telling me you steal my youth by getting me pregnant, tie me down, and now that's not good enough? You're thinking about MY friend Sam?!"
"Honey it's not like that, she shares a lot of funny stuff that's it! I just steal her memes I swear!"

"No! I won't stand here and listen to you lie to me! I see how you still look at her? Fuck! You want her? You can have her! I'm taking Eli, you'll never see or hear from either one of us ever again!" Debra starts angrily stuffing the closest bag she can find with random handfuls of clothes.
"Debra you have been drinking, I have to get leaving for work so why don't you sleep on it. If you still want to leave me when you're sober then we can talk about it then. For now go back to sleep. Eli should be up in about 3 hours." Jack didn't wait for a response. He grabs the rest of his stuff and storms out of the room. Jumping into their only car to head to work, almost an hour early.

Stalking shelves at the local grocery store was never a planned part of his life, but Debra's father helped get him the job starting 2 dollars higher than they normal. Not to mention there is always shelves to stalk and overtime to eat.
Earbuds in, Jack drowns any possible thoughts with the sounds of strangers screaming and kicking over drum sets. Focus fully on the task at hand.
Product scan.
Location scan.
Quantity.
Load shelf.
Over and over again.
Jack lost in the music and the repetitive motions did not hear her approach.
"Jack? Is that you?"
Upon hearing his name he turned to find an old friend from high school, Kally.
"Oh my God Jack! What happened to your eye?"
Jack popped out his earbuds. He wasn't expecting this interaction and fumbled for an excuse.
"Oh this, ha ya well ya see...ah hell it's really a boring story anyways. Eh Ehm. Kally! Hi how are you? It's been a long time!"
"Oh I doubt it's boring, that's quite the shiner you got there, did you forget how to walk?"
Jack's phone began to ring. He knew if he didn't answer by the third ring Debra would call his work to make sure he was there.
"Hey I got to take this, great seeing you Kally."
Jack turned the corner as the phone almost ended it's second ring.
"Hey…. How are you feeling?"
"Can you bring home milk?"
Jack inhaled feeling relieved and suffocated all at once.
"Are you there? Jack? Come in Jack?"
"....Ya I can do that." He exhaled. "Anything else you want to say?"
There was a long pause before the line went dead..
Jack hung his head for a moment before popping hid earbuds back in and getting back into the rhythm of work.

When his day ended he got milk and a bag of ice. Jack drove to the corner bar parked, texted Debra, "they asked me to stay late", before wrapping the milk under the bag of ice.

Locking the car and smelling the summer night air he found himself feeling lighter, but also a bit dangerous.
He found a seat on a corner stool in the bar he ordered a "surprise me, and make it a double." His focus finds the end of a football game. He has no favorite teams just picks his favorite color and roots for them aggressively, regardless of the odds. Tonight though he didn't feel like hollering with the crowd. He just wanted the alcohol to hit him faster.
He orders a second drink. Worry itching at the back of his mind. How long can I keep this up. How long will Debra believe I'm at work? I should slow down on drinking in case she calls….I can't just stay out all night….
Jack thinks as he steadily drinks down his second drink and places an order for a third. . A drive beyond his control moved him to not feel, to not think, just say fuck it all and order another drink. Weakened in depression he submits. Finding no argument against it.
Loudly he finds the bottom of his cup as his next drink is set in front of him, and a hand with another, much darker drink appears just to the end of his peripherals.
He turned his head as if he was racing his hand to captivate his next drink. There sat smiling ear to ear was none other than Samantha.
"I thought that was you! Hey! Great to see you, how did you escape your jailer?"
Still in shock, it took Jack a pause too long to respond. His mind still trying to keep afloat amongst all the alcohol he has so quickly consumed.
"Why are you here?" He finally managed in a hushed almost distant voice.
"Are you not excited to see me? Jack it's been forever since I've seen you out and about! This bar is closest to my work, the real question is, what are you doing here?" Samantha gave him a coy smile as she reached to sip off the straw in her much taller drink.
Jack let out a half sigh then leaned in and hugged her.
"Dude it's so good to see you. I have had the shittiest week."

"I think 'week' is cutting yourself short. What ya drinking on? I'll get you another if you want to grab a table with me and talk? It will be like old times, when I helped you through every other relationship you had." She winked at Jack before getting the bartender's attention.
Helped. Jack thought.
I wonder if you actually believe that's what you were doing…
They found a table off in the corner far from the bar.
They joked and reminisced about times passed but stories of his old fling with her best friend was the real reason the glasses ended up stacked up so fast. Memories that seems like a full life time ago to Jack now.
"I just can't believe you drove that far at 6am for waffles." Samantha cackles.
"Well if you guy's didn't live in bum fuck nowhere I wouldn't of had to!"
It was nice to remember. For a moment there was nothing else in his life, except the alcohol and Samantha's laugh.
"Gosh, and look at us now." She continued "I bought my own house and can party with less complaints. You got married and have a baby, ah I envy you. I can't wait to meet the right guy and start a family.." Samantha looked away for a moment then remembered her drink, taking a deep pull.
"You know, it's not all it's chalked up to be. It's not always warm and fuzzies. Or fights that bond you stronger, like you hope, it's more than the few happy pictures you see on Facebook ... sometimes…..sometimes it's…"

"Hatred, depression, and the occasional black eye?" Samantha interrupting with darkness in her tone.

Jack's eyes snapped up to meet hers and she held his gaze steadily.
"What are you saying?" Jack retorted slurring his words.
"Jack, I care about your happiness. I know you. I know you never want to compare even in the slightest to your father, but Jack. This is hard to just sit back and watch ...Your a good guy and..deserve so much better.."

"If that's true, why didn't you ever give me a chance?"
The words flew out as he thought them. Inhaling sharply he straightened himself before beginning to apologise, but Samantha stopped him.

"You know why, Jack. I was with someone when you first expressed interest, and when I told you no you dated my best friend. She really fell for you. I couldn't hurt her like that. You know that.. Maybe in a different light, I could have seen us really working out…"
Jack with his cheeks flushed with drink reviewed her words once more internally. Samantha at the same time finished her drink and then pulled out a pack of smokes.

"You coming?" She asked.

Jack leaned down to find his drink, slams it as fast as he can before jumping to his feet, standing at the ready.
Samantha smiles and leads the partially swaying Jack into the warm summer air.

Finding a corner of the bar farthest from the rest of the drunk smokers, Samantha lights her stoge. Inhales deep and turns to face Jack.
"She might end up killing you."

"She won't she's too smart for that."

"Heart attacks are not always intentional." Samantha's dark humor always warmed Jack. She had a way of expressing life in a blunt but oddly poetic nature.
"And any guy would be lucky to have you."

"....this isn't about me." Samantha said
carefully.

"It's always been about you." Jack scoffed. The alcohol heating his cheeks. Fueling his deep anguish as it bubbled beneath his skin.
"Ever since I first saw you, every plan in my life vanished and was replaced with whatever it took to have you by my side. I tried! I tried so hard but you always picked your ex. That guy you were with? You can't get all high and mighty to me about sticking it out in bad relationships. I could have, I would have given you so much better! I would have raised a house around you, and my baby boy would have your eyes and not hers! But you wouldn't let me in. You crushed me and Debra was there! This is the result! This was your making!"
Samantha laughed heartily. Brutally cutting down his heated words.
"I never forced you to fuck Debra. Or my best friend for that matter. You can't just go around planning your whole life around one person? How dumb is that? It's your life, no one else's. If you would of built yourself up and put the pieces of life you wanted together instead of fucking Debra, who knows we might have gotten together by now. Or maybe we wouldn't of, the point is. You did this. I know it's easier to blame anyone else but ultimately, you know you did this."
Samantha takes another drag from her smoke before stepping forward to look strongly into Jack's eyes.
"You also have the ability to get out of this relationship. Take it from a girl who as you say, is high and mighty, on the topic. You understand that is due to the fact I had the best teacher, experience right? Please for the love of God Jack. Teach your son it's better to walk away than to keep all three of you in hell."
She stared him down one more time before stamping out her cigarette.
"I hope you think about it, and call an Uber home..It really was good seeing you Jack."
Jack watched her walk to her car and pull out of the parking lot before he closed his eyes and threw his head back…
…….
…
..

@PeightonMakany
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