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Great Fear

©I have lived with you all my life. I met you when I was a child of of 8 years old.My sister had me and my younger sister in her room on the floor in front of her with her legs spread eagle making us both lick her .i wont forget the smell or the texture of her vulva.
I dont know why she had us doing this. maybe some kind of ritual.
I didn't tell nor my sister said anything.that is my sister next to me.to this day it has never been spoken on.
That was long time ago,yet I remember it as if was yesterday .I never told a soul .
When other were experimenting with sex I consider myself a late bloomer.my friend and only buddy talked his sister into busting my cherry. that how we say it in those days .My first time having sex and I got burned .Oh it was so painful yet I kept on doing it till I could take it no more .you see I was staying with at that time.
I had to go something is very wrong with me. i had contracted an STD.
The shame the pain it was too much to even peep. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't tell anyone the they would know that I had sex.No way would I tell anyone not even a doctor.
I sufferd through till I went away the pain that is.
Being the age of sixteen I would not venture into sex for the next two years.I avoided females at all cost i can't give them what I had.
This made me join the army. I get a physical
and get this fixed.Unless I mention it it never got taken care. so I lived with it for over forty years .
But over the course of those years I would go on to catching VD more times then I can count.
Yes I got treatment every time I went to prison. that means 5 that's how many time I been in prison.But that lady trip in prison i really messed up pumping those weights something inside me broke and this time I had to get the seven shots .
These last five years I been able to keep it down to just once. Yes I got treated. Here I am now suffering again from not able to tell or get treated for curvture of the penis it looks like a banana.Dont laugh it works just fine .
It just it has taken some of the length away.
I guess I wont be having sex anytime soon .
You see I am ashamed of it.
Oh well I guess there's always masturbation .
I hate that too !