"are you okay?" he asked as I snapped from my daydream or the constant blankness my face gave as my eyes over flooded with sadness and grief as a slight shine of light swimming around it as a sign I'm still alive." yeah" I chuckled with a half-smile but a chuckle of exhaustion only slipped past my lips, "yeah, I'm okay. still." I said with a gentle and sad forced smile, "ya do know it's not your fault right?" I looked at him on my right as he sat beside me while he tilted his head as his other brow reached for the sky but slightly downed like it knew it had no hope. He was concerned, I knew that, but... How many times have you heard the 'it's not your fault' word? It can be said when you're down or something tragic happened, maybe it's not your fault... Maybe it is. "I know" I smiled a sad one but not failing it to be 'gentle', "but maybe it is," I said as I pursed my lips looking straight once again as he sighed, I knew what face he was going to make, that sad and concerned face with his brows furrowed gently looking concerned as his angriness was not directed at me, he always did. "it's not." almost a tone of demand but it had not been confirmed, "she left but it's not you, it's some reason or whatever but it's not you" I looked at him almost quickly but managed to slow it down, How can he tell? Did he leave someone? Did he experience this? Did he knew or did he not? All I could say was, "perhaps, but leaving in dawn engulfed me in the morning sun, the sheets are still unwashed and her presence cannot be found, knowing she's gone after awaited days... Can't it be delightful to be a star too?" I asked, Almost willingly. He looked at me like I was a fool but still straight up concerned for my brain or at least what I wanted to be," don't you want to be happy? "he asked, I almost scoffed of my sarcasticness was intoxicating I agree, but," when you love a person truly, she's the only source of happiness" I said blankly now looking at the morning sun slowly unravelling while it has only to shine." Only? " he tilted his head, "Only." I replied. "stars are beautiful and countless in the depths of darkness it can be seen and in darkness only can see it's light and beauty. I said while gazing up at the morning stars slowly fading away but still there. He drew a blank face across his and looked straight, "we can, and cannot." he said, I grew curious, "what do you mean?" I asked, "if we shall be stars when we cease to exist, then what will the stars be after a trillion years?"
© attilana tyi